I know it's a bit long, sorry...It would be greatly appreciated if you would take the time to read and review, though. Thanks!

Meet Cornelia Schmeltenburg.

Cornelia is a tall, chubby girl with a boy’s haircut, and huge yellow owl glasses with little butterflies on the corners. Her mother says that her hair would be beautiful if she just grew it out, and it would be lovely and blonde, but Cornelia denies this because her hair is puffy and red when it is grown out.

Cornelia doesn’t like wearing clothing because she says that it gives her wedgies. If she had her own way everyone would go around naked. And so she wears strange clothing, in hopes that people will notice just how hideous clothes really are. She wears big furry boots all year long that are getting worn, and lime green bicycle shorts, and an old shirt of her father’s. The old shirt is the only thing she has left of her father, because he left the family when Cornelia was only about three or four. Her father was a very large man and so the shirt is very large on Cornelia. She faithfully wears it every day, though, despite the fact that every day a girl named Lara Ferrari teases her every day about it. Lara sits across the aisle from Cornelia.

“That shirt is so ugly,” Lara says one day. “I don’t know how you live in it.”

“I don’t live in it,” says Cornelia. “I don’t wear it to bed. My mom got me a nightgown.”

“How nice,” says Lara dryly. And she has every right to say it like that, too. She is not being mean. But sometimes seeing Cornelia pick her nose and flick it at the back of Lara’s precious Jason’s head makes her so mad. How dare Cornelia flick a boogie at Jason’s head like that!

“Is class almost over?” groans Carla from the other side of Lara. “I have to get home and see if my shoes came in.”

“Your shoes!” exclaims Cornelia, giggling. “Do they just let themselves in, like that?” She giggles, and then starts giggling so hard that she can’t stop. She is snorting, tears running down her cheeks. Shoes letting themselves in! He he he ha ha!

Carla and Lara sigh and roll their eyes. That Cornelia can be quite aggravating, they think. Sometimes they wish that they sat next to anyone else!

During class Cornelia tries to pay attention but it is truly hard. She is busy watching the back of Jason’s head. That handsome Jason! Why does he bother himself with Lara, that meanie weenie? She is never nice to Cornelia, and when she makes jokes sometimes she makes them about Cornelia. Of course Cornelia doesn’t know this for sure, but she can tell sometimes. She can just tell.

After school Cornelia hops on her bike, a rusty ten-speeder that she thinks is beautiful, and rides home as fast as she can. All around her kids are laughing at her, but she doesn’t notice. Suddenly she hears voices behind her, and someone running behind her. Who is it? She turns around and sees Jason, beautiful Jason, running behind her, panting to catch up. A band of other boys are walking behind him, laughing.

Cornelia stops and lets Jason catch up to her. He seems a little flustered and she thinks that some of the boys might have been making fun of him. But before she can say anything to comfort him, Jason says something.

“So Cornelia,” he says, “will you go...to the movies with me...Friday night?” And then he runs back to his friends, looking a little embarrassed.

His friends are laughing and so is he, but Cornelia thinks they must be making fun of him for loving her. So he is in love with her! Her heart flutters happily. Just then she sees someone in front of her. Lisle, a girl from school, is there, and smiling and looking amused, but a little sad.

Lisle must like Jason, and she’s sad that he likes me instead! Cornelia realizes. She catches up with Lisle.

“That was mean,” Lisle complains. Cornelia thinks that Lisle must think it was mean of her and Jason to like each other, so she tries to comfort Lisle.

“But I don’t even like Jason!” she wails, trying to act embarrassed.

Lisle stares at her and looks even sadder. “Um...Cornelia, you know that those boys were only teasing, right?”

Of course I know those boys were only teasing Jason! Cornelia wants to scream. But she remembers her manners and says politely, “Of course I know they’re just kidding around, Lisle. Bye!” And she rides away.

The next day at school Jason ignores her. He looks down at his feet whenever he’s about to look at her. Lara sneers across the aisle at her, “I heard about what Jason said to you yesterday.”

Cornelia tries not to be smug, but it’s hard. “Yes.”

“How funny! I bet you must’ve just died.”

The way that the boys were teasing Jason must’ve been funny, Cornelia thinks happily. And she had nearly died of happiness. It had been like heaven. She snuggles down in her seat and dreams of Friday night, kisses, and big crusty boogies for the rest of the school day.

The next day goes much like the first. And then before she knows it, it is Friday night! Cornelia is suddenly overcome with anxiety. Jason never said what time he will meet her at the movie theater! She gasps and looks in the paper for the movie times.

Well, it is easy enough. Three shows start at seven, one starts at ten and one starts at four. It is probably the seven o’ clock showing. Now, which movie will they see? She looks at the ones that are showing. There is one romance one that is rated R, one child’s one about animated talking animals, and an action one that should appeal to children her age. Well, it must be the action one. Now wasn’t that easy!

When six o’ clock rolls around, it just occurs to Cornelia that maybe she should wear something nice for their date. She loves her father’s shirt and normally she resists the power of clothing but tonight, she feels, is a special occasion. She cannot find any clothes that fit in her closet and so she goes over to her mother’s closet and looks inside there for a nice dress.

Bingo! She finds a two-piece skirt suit that is a nice shade of tan and only has one small stain on the front. In order to get the stain out she smears it with detergent. Or was that dish detergent? Oh well, anything will probably work. She thinks she should wear jewelry, so she goes into her mother’s jewelry chest and finds some nice earrings. The only problem is that her ears aren’t pierced. And so she can’t wear the earrings. The bracelet is something that her mother would surely notice to be gone because it is a family heirloom. That leaves only one item left.

It is a pin. It is big and glass and gold and shiny. On the front is engraved, “Mary Birks, First Place, Pie-Baking Contest.” She does not know where her mother got the pin because her mother’s name is not Mary Birks, and figures she must have found it at the thrift shop and liked the way it looked. And it is an attractive pin, thinks Cornelia as she grasps it in her chubby fingers.

Now it is time to fix her hair. Cornelia’s hair is short and flat, and cut like a boy’s hair. She hasn’t brushed it in a few days or washed it in two weeks and so it is greasy and bristly. To brush it she has to yank the comb through. And to make it look beautiful she puts in some ribbons. She has some trouble tying them around her short hair, but eventually she gets some tangled up and it looks very pretty.

Makeup—she won’t wear any. Stockings—all of hers are too small, and her mother’s are too lean and long. Shirt—she rustles up a ruffled silk number in the attic. She feels very prepared.

And now comes the real trouble—getting dressed. The detergent did not do anything to the stain, only made it wet, and so Cornelia decides she’ll go with the stain on it. She puts on the silk shirt. It fits perfectly. She starts to pull up the skirt. It is tight, and too small, and her flabby stomach hangs over the top of the skirt and bulges out. Oh well, the jacket will cover all that.

She did not notice before that she jacket has shoulder pads. She doesn’t appreciate the shoulder pads. And when she puts on the jacket it won’t button up. It is tight on her and the shoulder pads make her shoulders look very broad. She thinks that she looks a bit like a football player. But she also looks very grown-up. She decides to leave the jacket unbuttoned.

That is better anyway, so the ruffles show through. She pictures herself meeting Jason in the lobby of the movie theater.

And then it is six forty-five, and it is time to go. She pulls her rusty ten-speeder out of the garage and pedals as fast as she can to the movie theater. By the time she gets there it is six fifty-seven. She is right on time, but Jason isn’t there. Is she late? She checks her watch again. No, it says three minutes to seven. Now it is two minutes to seven, and still no Jason. The man in the ticket booth notices her.

“Hey kid,” he calls, “are you going to the show or not?”

“I’m waiting for my date,” Cornelia explains. “Have you seen him? He’s a very handsome boy.”

“What time did he say he’d meet you at?” the man asks.

“Well, he didn’t say he’d meet me at any time,” Cornelia explains, embarrassed. “But I assumed that he would meet me at seven.”

“What’s he look like?”

“Oh, he’s about my height,” Cornelia describes. “He has blond hair, and blue eyes and white teeth.”

“Hmm...how old?”

“We’re in the ninth grade together.”

“I think I saw him go in. Are you with a group?”

“No...” says Cornelia.

“Oh, because I saw him go in with a girl. She had black hair. Know her?”

And then, suddenly, Cornelia realizes what is going on. Jason came here to meet Cornelia but then saw Lara. And Lara must have insisted on sitting with him, and he couldn’t say no because he is technically Lara’s boyfriend! Poor Jason, Cornelia thinks. I will go rescue him!

“That’s him,” Cornelia says. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Tickets are three dollars.”

Cornelia realizes she has no money. She had been expecting Jason to pay for her ticket, and so she doesn’t have any cash with her. Besides, her mother would be mad if she wasted a whole three dollars just to go to a movie.

“I don’t have any money,” she moans.

“Sorry, I can’t let you in,” says the man at the booth. “I’d like to but I can’t let anyone without a ticket in. And I can’t let anyone with no money have a ticket.”

“But I thought he would pay my ticket!” wails Cornelia. “Isn’t that what people are supposed to do on a real date?”

The man looks sympathetic. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Here. You know what I can do? I’ll go in, stop the film for a minute and ask him to come out here so he can meet up with you.”

“I thought the film didn’t start yet.”

“It’s been running for half an hour!” exclaims the man. “Your watch must be off. Now what did you say his name was again?”

Cornelia tells him, and the man goes off. Ten minutes later he returns with an astonished-looking Jason. Cornelia runs up and greets him.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she says, “my watch was off.”

“Huh?” says Jason.

“Next time I won’t be late, and Lara won’t be able to intercept our date. Isn’t that what happened?”

“Um...no.”

“But what time did you want me to meet you, then?”

“I didn’t want you to meet me here anytime. I’m on a date with Lara.”

“But you said that we had a date tonight.”

And then Jason realizes, and he gasps. “Oh no!” he cries. “You thought I was serious Wednesday after school?”

Tears sting Cornelia’s eyes. “Yes! Weren’t you?”

“I—no,” Jason says. He looks very embarrassed. “One of the guys dared me to say that. Sorry if you thought I was for real.”

“Then you’re not in love with me?” Cornelia’s voice cracks on the last word.

“I go out with Lara, you know that. Now I’m gonna be missing the show, so bye. I’m going back in. Lara will be wondering where I am.”

He leaves, just like that. And as Cornelia stands there, she feels for the first time in her life truly ugly. Suddenly she is aware that her hair is greasy and short, and her outfit too tight, and that the gold pin is not beautiful at all, and that the shoulder pads make her shoulders look puffy and broad, and that there are four pimples in her nose, and that her reality was not reality at all, and her dream had not come true after all, and she begins to cry. Really cry, and she can’t stop.

The man in the ticket booth looks panicked. “What happened? Didn’t he pay for your ticket?”

“We were never supposed to meet here in the first place.” To make herself feel better, Cornelia digs her finger into her nostril and pull out a huge slimy boogie. She takes a small lick, then wipes it on her skirt. “He isn’t in love with me. I think I just got dumped.” She looks up sadly at the ticket man.

“Here, have a tissue,” the ticket man says, handing her a Kleenex. “Now, here. For all your trouble here how would you like some popcorn and something to drink? Here.” He goes away, then returns with the promised items. Cornelia devours the popcorn and licks the butter from her fingers, then she slurps up the drink.

“You’re nice.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you have kids?”

“I have two teenaged daughters myself,” says the man. “I know all about breakups and things.”

After a while, Cornelia leaves on her rusty ten-speeder. She goes home and changes out of the ridiculous outfit. She pulls the ribbons out of her hair and rips the gold Mary Birks pin off her dress. She pulls off the suit and blouse and flings them into her mother’s room onto her mother’s bed. She puts on her father’s shirt and buries herself in its largeness. It is comforting. And she lays there, watching the Animal World channel until she falls asleep, with the smells of sweat and detergent filling her nostrils and relaxing her until she slips off into dreamland.