Topic ID: 27177
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Firearris
The YWS Vampire Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 100 Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 1261 Reviews: 96 Country: The land of red and black. 8338 Points
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christy
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Posts: 20 Reviews: 6 Country: Canada 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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It would be greatly appreciated if you would look at this for me. I really like your review style. I'll definitely make some time to look at some of you work. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 966 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 5099 Points
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:10 am Post subject: |
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Wow; I went from nothing to review to 19 pieces plus anything of gryfs, all in one day! Woot! ;P
Feel free to post anything else. I will get to it, and I want more... ;P
Also, this will take me awhile. I take 1/2 hour to one hour per review, unless I just feel it needs a quick overall comment. Be patient, but do expect something soon.
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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cmarie159
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Posts: 31 Reviews: 15 Country: Stupid frikkin' U.S. wanna be in Canada 217 Points
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: review |
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| I would love it if you reviewed "And Its Quite Lovely". When you get time =] thanks. |
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OverEasy
I are cute O.O Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 686 Reviews: 109 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 275 Points
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Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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Hello!
Got another one for you, it's a really short prologue, but here's the link. (Don't worry dear it's not a poem *giggle*)
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29591.html
Please and Thank You!
OverEasy |
_________________ If I can write one line of one story that touches someone in some way. Then my one dream in life has come true. |
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Alainna
A crit a day keeps the YWS monster away Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1585 Reviews: 391 Country: England 2006 Points
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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Hi there Jen.
I was just wondering if you could check this out :
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29530.html
Sorry about the length!
Thanks so much!
Alainna
xxx |
_________________ Sanity is for the unimaginative.
Got YWS? |
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OverEasy
I are cute O.O Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 686 Reviews: 109 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 275 Points
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:46 pm Post subject: |
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First chapter dearie
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29760.html
Be as harsh as possible. I want this one to turn out good. I might try to get it published. Lol
Please and Thank You
OverEasy |
_________________ If I can write one line of one story that touches someone in some way. Then my one dream in life has come true. |
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Myles Wong
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 35 Reviews: 6 Country: Wales 576 Points
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter one: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28870.html
Chapter two: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29024.html
Chapter three: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29678.html
I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1. I'm looking to hear about
* Tense changes: I try to only use this in Sothna's chapters - it's in an "interview" sort of format and I imagine him as the persona who would change the way he's talking half way through - but I'm worried I may be doing it too much.
* Grammar and spelling: I think I'm all right at avoiding these mistakes. Prove me wrong at all costs.
* Flow: Slightly worried about this - What sort of flow are you supposed to have in an interview?
* Anything else thatt's wrong with the story: Please point out anything that's wrong so I can a) change it, b) point out why it's there.
Take a look when you have time, thanks muchly. |
_________________ But enough about me, what do YOU think about me? |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 966 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 5099 Points
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Myles Wong wrote: |
| I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1. |
That just means don't tell me to start in the middle of the story. I'm perfectly happy to start at chapter one and follow you 'til the end, as long as you poke me often with reminders.
I'll get to this soon. My list looks to be clearing up, just some long stuff in Advanced Critiques. I'll let you all know when I've finally caught up. I kind of got ahead of myself and had nearly 40 items - possibly more - waiting. I had links in word documents, NotePad documents, on here, in PMs...it was getting ridiculous. But it was just April Vacation week, and I did a ton!
I have reached my goal of four stars. My new one is five stars (about 25 more reviews) by June 6, when I'll have been a member for a year. I wasn't active for the better part of the year, so maybe I'll get five red by the end of my second, since I plan to be on as much as I have been lately?
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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AWritersFantasy
Keeper of Secrets Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 22 Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 637 Reviews: 59 Country: Caelestis 350 Points
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| Caelestis: Keeper's Throne is a fantasy fiction story/novel I'm working on. It's actually a sequel to my Child of Ashes: Outcast story I was writing, but I decided to work on the sequel as a way to get more background information and ideas for the first story. I only have one chapter up of this story, but I may (or may not, depends) have another chapter up soon. This story doesn't have any reviews yet (at least as of this post), so anything you can give would be appreciated. |
_________________ Creative Muse Society
Caelestis: Keeper's Throne (Chapter One: Reluctant Leader) |
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Conrad Rice
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 108 Reviews: 50 Country: The Red Fields of None 649 Points
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, its me. Thankfully, its something new this time. Two somethings in fact. Dandelion Season in the Other Fiction forum and All This But Mere Perceptions in the Science Fiction forum. If you need a review look me up. I owe you about a million.  |
_________________ The wind blows, and then it doesn't. And then it blows again.- Stephen King
Maybe you have to know darkness before you can appreciate the light.- Madeline L'Engle |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 966 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 5099 Points
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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Hey guys!
It seems I'm falling pretty behind in my critiquing, as well as my writing. I've been struggling to catch up, but I never can.
So, I'm not accepting requests at the moment. I'll catch up with this and my writing, and then open this once more.
Anyone waiting for a critique, poke me until I remember. And expect quite a wait...but I will get to it! And hopefully it will help.
Maybe this is good? You're supposed to put something away for a while before editing, so this will encourage you to do so.
Eh, I'm just trying to find the silver lining.
Sorry!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 966 Reviews: 288 Country: USA 5099 Points
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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I'm reopened! Now as an Instructor!
Send in those requests!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA. |
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Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me. Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 2937 Reviews: 890 Country: USA 86 Points
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Suzanne
is home Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 6652 Reviews: 1712 Country: Riverbluff, MO 4535 Points
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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Hullo love! Either because I love you, or because you are pestering me [your take!] I'm here to request things.
They have many comments, but I would still appreciate all of your thoughts.
God Still Loves You
Chance of Snow
Thank you, darling. You're wonderful. |
_________________ Morgenstern, ach, scheine auf das Antlitz mein.
Wirf ein warmes Licht auf mein Ungesicht.
Sag mir ich bin nicht alleine...
(und der Stern will scheinen.) |
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