Topic ID: 26640
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Buscador!
The Searcher
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 21
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 3291
Reviews: 508
Country: Somewhere between the second and third circle of hell, I'm sure.
65 Points
|
 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject: Banished Discussion Thread |
 |
|
Do it.
First topic is such--time of day. Everyone should start time stamping their posts ala Necropolis (IE Day 1. 10:34am. Tiernan) This is especially useful early on, when we're only just establishing setting and time.
For now, we're making it the morning, around 8am. Please edit your posts accordingly.
Discuss!
On a side note--we're #5 on the Featured Works! Gold Stars all 'round, people. |
_________________
Got YWS?
Last edited by Buscador! on Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:11 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Kylan
how superior.
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 1092
Reviews: 270
Country: USA
372 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
What are we going to do once we reach the coffee shop?
I was planning on having Booker go beserk and start waving his gun around the place. But... that would make him the antagonist, and he's border-line bad guy as it is.
Any suggestions?
-Kylan |
_________________
"'At's the shtuff! Give the friggin' world back to the friggin' people!"
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Buscador!
The Searcher
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 3291
Reviews: 508
Country: Somewhere between the second and third circle of hell, I'm sure.
65 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: |
|
|
That would make him *an* antagonist. and there's nothing wrong with badguys becoming good guys when presented with a greater foe. I approve. PM me, Kylan--we'll talk  |
_________________
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Via
Ἀθηνᾶ
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 3457
Reviews: 681
Country: second to the left and straight on 'til morning
166 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
If you shoot Jillien you better not leave her to die! Haha  |
_________________
My Literary and Arts Blog
"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date |
|
| Back to top |
|
TNCowgirl
Princess of Storybooks and Queen of DTWH!!
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 5816
Reviews: 99
Country: USA
2846 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ok, so how are we all going to meet?
Or do we already know each other?
I'm lost. :'( |
_________________
Christ Paris: A guy the world gave up on. The plane he was flying disappeared Nov. 1 of this year. A few days ago the searchers gave up the search. May he prove everyone wrong and still be alive.
Vist my world and make it bigger!
Want a Readers crit??? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Buscador!
The Searcher
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 3291
Reviews: 508
Country: Somewhere between the second and third circle of hell, I'm sure.
65 Points
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| No one knows each other unless you arrange it as such. Don't move the plot forward until I give the go ahead, please. |
_________________
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Reakeda
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 108
Reviews: 47
Country: United States of America
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
| *is completely open to Erion getting wounded mildly.* |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Firearris
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 100
Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 1425
Reviews: 97
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm also open to being wounded, as long as I still live. ^_^ |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Maybe
Maybe Not.
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 2007
Reviews: 95
Country: Outer Space
350 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:57 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I also offer my character for getting hurt. |
_________________
"It's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there... I mean doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?"
Note: Gone from 11/23-11/30(ish). |
|
| Back to top |
|
TNCowgirl
Princess of Storybooks and Queen of DTWH!!
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 5816
Reviews: 99
Country: USA
2846 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Me too, |
_________________
Christ Paris: A guy the world gave up on. The plane he was flying disappeared Nov. 1 of this year. A few days ago the searchers gave up the search. May he prove everyone wrong and still be alive.
Vist my world and make it bigger!
Want a Readers crit??? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Via
Ἀθηνᾶ
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 3457
Reviews: 681
Country: second to the left and straight on 'til morning
166 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| winter/spring/summer/fall? |
_________________
My Literary and Arts Blog
"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date |
|
| Back to top |
|
Buscador!
The Searcher
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 3291
Reviews: 508
Country: Somewhere between the second and third circle of hell, I'm sure.
65 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Via--Spring
*slaps Steph and Busboy's wrrists* Timestamps, you.
Okay, here's what Kylan and I have going at the moment:
Booker is going to flip out and pull a gun in the cafe, and Tiernan is going to attempt to intervene. My next post will be setting up the scene, so if you post after me, be sure it doesn't move the plot *forward* at all.
Edit: On a side note, we're #4 on the Featured Works List! Gold Stars all around, people.  |
_________________
Got YWS? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Stephixy
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 23
Reviews: 9
Country: Los Estados Unidoes
295 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I fix'ted the timestamp, I sowwie.
I am also open to my character getting wounded, badly even, but I of course would like to keep her around for longer.
Sidenote: if anyone's read my char description, she is a thief. If anyone is interested in saying that their character is perhaps not perfectly observant, and would volunteer for me to be able to steal from them (I promise not much, little things that you could get back later perhaps and a few bucks) that would be wonderful! Thanks you all, awesome characters. |
_________________
We keep waiting on the World to stop but it won't slow down and we'll never catch up... - Grey Holiday
We're making Fiction of our lives, Burning pages as we write... - Kids In the Way |
|
| Back to top |
|
Maybe
Maybe Not.
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 2007
Reviews: 95
Country: Outer Space
350 Points
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm going to have to step out of this one for about a week, maybe two. I have my major testings next week, i completely forgot, so I *should* be back after that. Feel free to use my character if needed.
-Mays |
_________________
"It's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me to get there... I mean doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?"
Note: Gone from 11/23-11/30(ish). |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Stephixy
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 23
Reviews: 9
Country: Los Estados Unidoes
295 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
TNCowgirl.
There are a few things I would like to address with your last post. An explosion causes great damage and trauma, not to mention smoke and dust. No character would be able to see anything for quite a while, not with smoke in their eyes. Talking would be possible, but extremely difficult, because of smoke and dust in the lungs.
I think that your post could be defiantly worked with, but I think you need to do a bit more setting the scene. You are the first person to post after the explosion, you need to describe it a bit better. I think you should be a bit more cautious in your talking of seeing people and what they are doing. You could see "figures" and make deductions as to who is doing what, but noticing that the shooter is gone would be something you would be unlikely to do.
Also think of the amount of debris in the area. The cafe would be absolutely covered debris. It would be likely that most, if not all people are buried.
I am not demanding that you change anything of course, that is not what this is about. I would like to help you make a better post, and perhaps better your writing skills. |
_________________
We keep waiting on the World to stop but it won't slow down and we'll never catch up... - Grey Holiday
We're making Fiction of our lives, Burning pages as we write... - Kids In the Way |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
