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The Paranormal
The Paranormal

by Jared in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Scripts

This thread was created on March 3, 2008
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Foreign Markets: 1x02 "The Package"
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:32 am    Post subject: Foreign Markets: 1x02 "The Package" Reply with quote

As before, no revisions can be accepted. Cheers!


--


"FOREIGN MARKETS: 1X02 THE PACKAGE"
Created & Written by: Brad Stanley

“THE PACKAGE”

FADE IN:

EXT. HOUSE - PRE-DAWN

Establishing shot shows James' black Mustang sitting out front of the house; the lights are dark. A low WAILING is heard.

CUT TO:

INT. LUKE'S AND JAMES'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

James rolls over in bed and stares up at the ceiling, clearly irked by the loud and uneven Oriental WAILING coming through the walls. He curls on his side and places a stray pillow over his ear, but eventually pulls it off and looks over to Luke, who seems to be perfectly fine. The music becomes very faint, and James waits a few seconds before sighing in relief and nestling back into the pillow. Yasmin Levy's "Madre, Si Esto Hazino" suddenly BLARES.

JAMES
(throwing the covers off him, whispering loudly)
Fuck!

James snatches the clock up from the nightstand and reads 4:14 AM. He grabs a white shirt up off the floor and tugs it down over his head as he storms out of the room and into the upstairs hallway. Sunshine's door is open, and the ruby red light cast by her lava lamp throws weird shadows in the hall. James takes a deep breath and walks to the opening, the music growing louder. He clears his throat as he looks in and sees Sunshine sitting on the floor with a leg over her head and hands on her lower back. She doesn't notice.

JAMES
(trying to be polite)
Sunshine?

Sunshine remains inert. The wailing becomes unbearable.

JAMES
(seething)
Sunshine!

Sunshine turns her head slowly and barely opens her eyes.

SUNSHINE
(slowly, as though in a trance)
Yes, James?

JAMES
Why the fuck isn't your door closed? It sounds like fucking Jurassic Park going into death throes in here.

James waits for her to answer, but she remains quiet. He steps inside to close her door himself, but realizes she doesn't have a door.

JAMES
(to himself)
You're kidding…

James turns and looks to Sunshine, who is now putting her other leg over her head.

JAMES (CONT'D)
Why don't you have a door?

Sunshine shrugs.

JAMES (CONT'D)
(annoyed)
Sunshine!

Sunshine begins taking deep breaths and exhales slowly. James grits his teeth before walking over and turning off the radio himself.

SUNSHINE
Hey! I was--

JAMES
Don't 'hey' me, okay? It's four in the fucking morning and you're playing this so loud the people down the street probably think somebody's dying down here.

Sunshine puts her hand to her mouth.

SUNSHINE
Ohmygod, did they call us?

James scoffs and walks over to where the door should be.

JAMES
What? You'd turn it down if the people down the street have a problem but not if I do?

Sunshine stands up and brushes herself off.

SUNSHINE
I think you just need to calm down.

James laughs.

JAMES
Calm down? I can't sleep because apparently the only way for you to 'zen' out or what the fuck ever is to listen to somebody shrieking. How fucking calm do you think I should be?

Sunshine walks over and puts her hands on James' shoulders.

SUNSHINE
(closing her eyes and putting her forehead against him)
Just relax. I am going to pull this negative energy out of you.

Sunshine tries to lean back but as though by some unnatural force is pulled back to James. James shifts awkwardly in place, horrified.

SUNSHINE
My, there's a lot to pull out…

As Sunshine tries again, James backs away from her and shakes his head.

JAMES
Look, you know, play whatever you need to do your thing, okay? But nobody else needs to hear it. Can you do that for me?

SUNSHINE
Everyone needs to find their inner peace.

JAMES
Yeah, well my inner peace is in my bed, waiting on me.

Sunshine furrows her brow.

SUNSHINE
Your inner peace is Luke?

James stares at her, aghast.

JAMES
(scoffing)
You just--ugh…

He holds up his hands in defeat and turns away, heading back to his room.

SUNSHINE
Well? Is it?

James pushes the door to the bedroom open and turns around.

JAMES
(exasperated)
No, Sunshine. It's sleep. Sleep is my inner peace, okay? I need sleep, and I don't need someone wailing like a banshee while I try to do it.

Sunshine simply returns his stare until she finally walks back into her room. James sighs, slightly relieved but also frustrated, as he walks back into the bedroom. However, Luke has sprawled out across the bed, effectively blocking him from going back to sleep unless he moves Luke. James puts his hand to his forehead and groans.

JAMES
(looking to the ceiling)
Fuck you, God.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING

James is flipping through channels and sipping a glass of water. Luke comes down the stairs.

LUKE
Hey, man. Sleep well?

James shrugs.

JAMES
Not so much.

Luke walks to the kitchen.

LUKE (O.S.)
Oh? I thought I was the one who was supposed to have jetlag!

James rolls his eyes and gives the Luke the finger, even though Luke can't see it.

LUKE (CONT'D) (O.S.)
Do we have anything to eat here? I'm starving.

A cabinet SLAMS. James turns the TV off and gets up and walks into the kitchen.

JAMES
Not that I could find.

Luke nods but continues searching anyway.

JAMES (CONT'D)
What are the girls doing?

Luke shrugs as he inspects the pantry.

LUKE
Lena had her door closed and I think Sunshine was asleep.

JAMES
(setting his glass down on the counter)
Did you know Sunshine doesn't have a door?

LUKE
(staring at a box)
Yeah…she wanted me to take it down, but I told her Jeremy should do it. She, uh, she said it was too restrictive, or something. I didn't really understand.

JAMES
(nodding)
Restrictive of her ability to terrorize us with music?

Luke doesn't acknowledge this comment, and instead holds the box up and grins.

LUKE
How would you like some baking soda for breakfast?

James smirks as his phone RINGS. He pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the caller ID.

JAMES
(glancing to Luke)
Jeremy.

He answers the phone and walks back towards the living room, away from Luke.

JAMES
(into phone)
Hey, what's up?

CUT TO:

INT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING

Jeremy precariously balances several books and the cell phone on his shoulder as people move past him.

JEREMY
(into phone)
James, man--there's a used printing press across town for sale today. I saw it in Craigslist and…I'm…

Jeremy sets his books down on a window ledge and pulls the phone from his ear. He punches keys rapidly to send a link to James and waits for it to finish sending.

JEREMY (CONT'D)
(same)
Okay…should be emailed to you. I saw it online this morning 'fore I left for class, but I didn't have time to sned it. Check it out for me, okay?

INTERCUT WITH Living Room

JAMES
(same)
Sure thing. Hang on--

James walks back to the kitchen and nods at Luke.

JAMES (CONT'D)
(covering the mouthpiece)
Wanna go look at a printing press?

Luke narrows his eyes as though considering his options.

LUKE
Do printing presses also have yummy food?

James shrugs and then nods.

LUKE (CONT'D)
Then yes.

James uncovers the mouthpiece.

JAMES
(into phone)
Jeremy? Yeah, we'll check it out. Want us to buy it if it looks okay?

INTERCUT WITH Law School Hallway

Jeremy is standing in front of a door to a classroom. The hallway is slowly clearing out as people file into their lectures. Jeremy hoists a bag up on his shoulder.

JEREMY
(same)
As long as it's within the budget I sent you with the link, and you feel comfortable with it. But James, if you have any hesitation--don't buy it. We can wait.

INTERCUT WITH Kitchen

JAMES
(same)
Sure thing.

Lena comes down the stairs in pajamas, hair in disarray, and loudly mumbling to herself.

JAMES (CONT'D)
(glancing to Lena, into phone)
Anything else?
(beat)
Alright.
(beat)
Okay, bye.

James hangs up and looks over at Lena, who is watching Luke watch James.

JAMES
Did you say something to me?

LENA
When?

JAMES
Um, just now? When you were coming down the stairs?

Lena shrugs and shakes her head.

JAMES (CONT'D)
(amused)
You were talking to yourself?

Lena rolls her eyes and walks behind the kitchen counter, clearly annoyed at James' pestering.

LENA
Yeah, it's the only way to hold an intelligent conversation around here.

Luke grins as James starts to respond but decides against it.

JAMES
(to Luke)
Ready to go?

Luke nods and walks into the foyer and puts his shoes on.

LENA
(opening the refrigerator)
Isn't it a little early for gay bars?

JAMES
Ha ha, funny.

LENA
(closing the refrigerator)
Well, if you're going out, can you at least get some groceries? We have nothing in the fridge.

Luke glances furtively to James as he walks back into the kitchen.

LUKE
I think there's some stuff there in the closet, Lena.

LENA
(sighing)
Okay, thanks.

James and Luke scurry to the front door.

JAMES (O.S.)
We'll be back later!

LENA
(opening the pantry door)
Bye!

Lena pulls the box out and stares at it, gaping.

LENA (CONT'D)
(miffed)
Ugh…baking soda?
(putting the box up, muttering to herself)
Something's in the closet, alright.

Lena is startled when she closes the pantry door and realizes Sunshine is standing behind the counter, watching her intensely.

LENA (CONT'D)
(awkward)
Can I…help you?

SUNSHINE
Are you hungry?

Lena squints at Sunshine as though she might be trying to trick her, but eventually shrugs.

LENA
Yeah, I'm hungry. What do you have?

Sunshine holds up a small pink bottle and smiles.

LENA (CONT'D)
Um…

SUNSHINE
Come here!

LENA
(alarmed)
Are you eating lube?

Sunshine shakes her head and motions Lena to her.

SUNSHINE
Don't be silly! Who could eat lube by itself?

Lena walks around hesitantly and tries to see what Sunshine is holding, but Sunshine quickly conceals it behind her back.

LENA
Sunshine, what is it?

SUNSHINE
Close your eyes!

Lena deadpans at Sunshine, but eventually sighs and closes her eyes.

LENA
This better be good…

SUNSHINE
Now! Look up at the ceiling!

CUT TO:

INT. DINER - MORNING

James and Luke are sitting opposite each other at a booth. They both have cups of coffee.

LUKE
Why didn't Jeremy have the press before we got here?

James shrugs takes a sip of coffee.

JAMES
I think he had one but--wow, this is kind of strong--uh, I think he lost it in a bidding war. I know he originally told me he was going to have one, and then that something happened, but I don't know exactly what.

Luke nods and takes a sip of the coffee, quickly making a face and pushing it away.

JAMES (CONT'D)
(laughing)
I told you.

LUKE
God, it's awful.

James continues to laugh.

LUKE (CONT'D)
Blegh. Americans should learn how to make coffee properly.

JAMES
I thought crumpets and tea were more your thing. Why'd you come here, anyway? Jeremy make you an incredible deal or something? Because I know he didn't make me one.

Luke shrugs and peers over James's shoulder.

LUKE
No, I think it was just that I've been in the UK all my life, and, frankly, my creativity was starting to stagnate. I figured maybe if I came here, things would perk up.

JAMES
Are they?

LUKE
Not really.

JAMES
(nodding)
So…you had no problem coming across the ocean for an unstable job and to live with people you'd never met, just for some creativity?

Luke shrugs and motions to a waitress.

LUKE
Well, why are you here? Being the resident boy-wonder, seems like you'd have better things to do than travel fifteen hundred miles for an unstable job and to live with people you'd never met, doesn't it?

James looks down at his coffee as large waitress walks over.

WAITRESS
What can I get you boys to eat?

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Lena's eyes are closed and she is staring up at the ceiling. Sunshine slowly lifts the lid off the pink bottle. Lena furrows her brow as an aroma hits her senses but keeps her eyes closed. Sunshine pours some of the liquid on her fingers and then quickly jabs Lena's neck with it, quickly and roughly massaging her throat. Lena jumps away, hands clenching her neck.

LENA
What the hell was that? I thought you said you had food.

Sunshine puts the lid back on the bottle and nods knowingly.

SUNSHINE
(nodding)
I do, Lena--spiritual food. I noticed the other night that you were very out of balance with your femininity, and this aromatherapy mix of orange, sandalwood, clary sage--

Lena gags.

LENA
Oh my God, I smell like someone just marinated me!

Sunshine reaches for Lena's hands, which are still around her throat, but Lena steps backward.

SUNSHINE
You have to let it breathe, Lena. You're going to hurt yourself!

LENA
If you don't get away from me, I'm going to hurt you! Now leave!

Sunshine stands there stubbornly.

LENA (CONT'D)
Leave! Unless you have a car, and can take me to get food, I don't want to talk to you.

Sunshine folds her arms over her chest.

SUNSHINE
Just relax, okay? I use this every morning after I shower, and it helps me stay very in balance with myself.

LENA
I don't want to be in balance with you!

Sunshine rolls her eyes.

SUNSHINE
Fine, Lena, but one day you're going to wake up just like my mother and--

LENA
Knocked up and high?

They both stare at each other for a few seconds, stunned. Lena swallows and takes a deep breath.

LENA (CONT'D)
Okay, sorry, that was inappropriate, and I didn't mean--

SUNSHINE
Bitch.

Sunshine promptly turns on her heels and leaves.

LENA
(to herself)
Whatever.

CUT TO:

INT. JAMES'S CAR - DAY

James pulls up to a recently abandoned building. There's a black truck parked nearby.

LUKE
So you never said why you're here to live with strangers for a job with a pay you could have easily beat with your credentials.

James turns the ignition off and unbuckles his seat belt.

JAMES
(clearing his throat)
There were things in my life that I needed to just…get away from. Too many bad situations with too many people. It probably isn't the best solution, but it was all I could think: run.

Luke nods and they get out of the car.

LUKE
So this holds the future of our company, huh?

James laughs.

JAMES
Apparently so.

A rotund elderly man, MR. HARRIS, opens the door and looks over at them, squinting through his glasses before waving. James and Luke jog over to him and shake his hands.

MR. HARRIS
(shaking Luke's hand)
Hello, boys, which one of you is Jeremy?

CUT TO:

INT. COMPUTER ROOM - DAY

Lena is on her laptop, reading a short story submitted to the journal for publication. After a moment, she sighs and quickly scrolls through the rest of the document before closing the window. She leans back in her chair as the doorbell RINGS.

LENA
(relieved)
Finally! They better have food....

Lena gets up and goes to the front door.

SUNSHINE
Wait!

Lena turns as Sunshine comes barreling down the staircase.

SUNSHINE (CONT'D)
It's for me!

Lena rolls her eyes and opens the door.

LENA
Where the hell is--?

A man, ALEX, is standing in the doorway, not even acknowledging Lena's existence as he grins over her at Sunshine.

ALEX
Sunshine!

SUNSHINE
Sugarkittens!

Sunshine shoves Lena aside and hugs Alex passionately.

ALEX
(kissing her forehead)
Mmm, I've missed my beacon of light and hope!

Lena stares in shock as Sunshine pulls him inside and closes the door.

SUNSHINE
(motioning to Lena)
This is Bitch. Bitch, this is Alex, my boyfriend.

Lena blinks, shaking Alex's hand.

ALEX
Nice to meet you, Bitch.

LENA
Yeah, you too…you two are…dating?

Sunshine nods enthusiastically and kisses Alex.

SUNSHINE
We lived together back in Cali, and ohmigod I can't believe you came all the way out here just to see me baby!

Alex picks Sunshine up and twirls her around in the air.

ALEX
For you, my love, anything!

Lena contorts her face in pain.

LENA
Excuse me while I go vomit.

Alex looks her up and down carefully, nodding.

ALEX
Hm. You were right about her.

Sunshine giggles.

LENA
Right about me how?

ALEX
Oh, look--your clothes aren't coordinated to do anything for your build and your hair doesn't lend anything to your face. It's unfortunate, really.

Lena narrows her eyes.

LENA
Go to hell.

Sunshine hugs Alex again.

ALEX
And that attitude! I bet you don't reel in the boys with that.

LENA
Not as many as you do.

ALEX
(chuckling)
Sorry to hear you've never had a date, then.

Lena arches her eyebrows.

SUNSHINE
Yeah, Lena, he isn't gay--he's my boyfriend! How could he be gay and be my boyfriend? It just wouldn't work.

Alex laughs again and looks out the window to his car.

SUNSHINE (CONT'D)
Besides, you call everybody gay! Even Luke and James, and they're just nice boys! Well, Luke is. I think James has some issues with understanding his inner being--but maybe you just make fun of them because you're the gay one!

Lena folds her arms over her chest and glares.

LENA
I'm a tri-sexual, thank you very much.

Alex removes Sunshine's arm from his waist.

ALEX
A tri-sexual? Straight, gay and tranny?

LENA
(deadpanning)
No. A tri-sexual--I'll try anything once.

Alex groans and opens the front door.

ALEX
Well, ladies, I've got some stuff I need to bring in, so if you'll excuse me….

Lena watches, exasperated, as Alex walks out.

LENA
You know he isn't staying here, right?

ALEX (O.S.)
(calling)
I got that cat food you wanted!

Sunshine smiles out at him and puts her hands on her waist.

SUNSHINE
And why not?

LENA
Um, because? This is for the people working on getting the publishing house started--and you told him to get cat food and not human food?

SUNSHINE
I'll give him something to do. He can help out, and he got food for us.

Lena rolls her eyes and shrugs.

LENA
I don't--wait…real food? Well, then…fine, I guess. But I don't want to hear any noise coming from your bedroom at night. Or in the morning. Or any time.

SUNSHINE
What is it with you people and sound?

CUT TO:

INT. WAREHOUSE - AFTERNOON

James and Luke are inspecting several machines as Mr. Harris watches from a distance.

MR. HARRIS
(clearing his throat)
So what made you two boys interested in the publishing world, anyway?

LUKE
(preoccupied)
We're both writers.

Mr. Harries snorts and shifts his weight, chortling to himself.

MR. HARRIS
Oh, my boys, then you should both get out of the business before it ruins you and your careers.

James turns around, satisfied with the equipment.

JAMES
Why's that?

Luke touches a printer tray and looks at it carefully before turning around.

MR. HARRIS
Well, I'll tell you, the market today isn't what it was in 1975 when a few printers and a few good stories could set you for life. The competition today at the local and national levels isn't anything to be scoffed at--you're going to need more than just good writing--it's a shame, but thousands of great stories get rejected every year just because they aren't commercially viable.

James shrugs and looks to Luke.

JAMES
Well, we've sort of got a niche market that can support us until we get our feet underneath us.

MR. HARRIS
And what market is that, exactly?

Luke looks down at his feet and then up at Harris.

LUKE
Young writers, actually. James and I were both members of a website set up specifically for the development of teenage writers before it became incorporated and an actual publishing firm.

MR. HARRIS
(scoffing)
Young people are hardly a reliable market--why, they're less reliable than weather forecasters!

James shrugs and steps forward.

JAMES
True. But their parents and grandparents are; other factors are high school and middle schools, where English teachers could encourage their students to submit for the next publication. Our generation is all about doing things when you're young.
Harris nods, clearly disapproving.

MR. HARRIS
The publishing world isn't fond of altruists.

LUKE
Oh, Mr. Harris, our intentions are scantly altruistic--we're a for-profit organization.

MR. HARRIS
Well to succeed in this business, you're going to need a marketing strategy unseen before this--something totally new and edgy.

JAMES
Oh, we are the cutting-edge.

LUKE
(nodding, looking to James)
Yeah, not a problem. We're so cutting-edge people bump into us just so they don't have to shave.

MR. HARRIS
(snorting)
Well I certainly hope so, for your sakes, because as soon as Harvey Lions gets wind of competition, he won't stop until you're shut down and unemployable for a hundred mile radius. And while your enthusiasm is charming, it won't get you far when his newshounds are uncovering every last detail of your personal lives.

James and Luke look to each other uneasily. James shoves his hands down his pockets and rocks on his heels.

JAMES
Is that what happened to you?

MR. HARRIS
(incredulous)
You're damn right it is! Why, I used to be the largest publisher for three cities in any direction, and then I made the biggest mistake of my career and hired Harvey. And you boys mark my word: he plays the game, and he plays it to win--no prisoners taken.

Mr. Harris sighs and looks around.

MR. HARRIS
Well, I suppose we should get out to the truck then and get the paperwork started. I'll give you two the manuals so you can get a head-start on the reading material--it's pretty hefty.

JAMES & LUKE
Great.

CUT TO:

INT. ANN'S BEDROOM - EVENING

Ann's room is dimly lit. Her four-post bed and matching oak dresser sit opposite each other. There are no clothes on the ground except what Jeremy and Ann have taken off--the room is otherwise immaculate. Jeremy is kissing Ann, straddling her when his cell phone RINGS. He pulls back from her and grins, holding up his finger.

JEREMY
Just one minute, okay?

Ann sighs and watches impatiently as Jeremy climbs off the bed and pulls his phone out of his jeans on the ground.

JEREMY
(into phone)
Yo.

CUT TO:

INT. JAMES'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

James switches the phone from his right hand to his left.

JAMES
(into phone)
Well, we now own the whole line of PRA Book Binding Machinery!

INTERCUT WITH Ann's Bedroom

JEREMY
(glancing over his shoulder at Ann, into phone)
Really? That's…uh, that's great! Just, uh…

Jeremy opens the bedroom door and steps into her hallway. He turns and nods at her, mouthing 'Just a minute.'

JEREMY (CONT'D)
(into phone)
Okay, sorry. I was--just, wow. So was it what he said it would be?

Jeremy glances over his shoulder to see if Ann is there. She isn't.

INTERCUT WITH James's Car

JAMES
Yeah, we even got him to come down five hundred.

James looks over at Luke, who nods.

JAMES (CONT'D)
Yeah, uh, Jeremy. You told us before we came that we wouldn't have any competition. So why'd Harris tell us about some Harvey Lions guy?

INTERCUT WITH Ann's Hallway

JEREMY
Psh, don't worry about him, okay? We're fine. It doesn't matter; even if it did, there's nothing he can do, so--

INTERCUT WITH James's Car

JAMES
So you lied to us?

James grins over at Luke who stifles a laugh.

JAMES (CONT'D)
So you brought us here on false pretenses?

INTERCUT WITH Ann's Hallway

JEREMY
No no no! That--that isn't what happened, you misunderstood what I was--

INTERCUT WITH James's Car

James and Luke burst out laughing.

JAMES
No, man, it's okay. It's cool. We're both really excited about it.

Luke grabs the phone from James.

LUKE
Yeah, what we aren't so excited about is the four-hundred page operating manuals that came with it…

INTERCUT WITH Ann's Hallway

JEREMY
What? Dude, that's crazy! You guys think you can figure it out?

INTERCUT WITH James's Car

LUKE
Psh, with a manual and our inherent boy knowledge of all things mechanical, we could probably build these printers.

James laughs and grabs the phone back.

JAMES
We'll see you later--we're going to try not getting lost getting back home.

INTERCUT WITH Ann's Hallway

JEREMY
Haha, alright. I think you've got a new houseguest. Lena called about it earlier.
(beat)
Ha, drive safe, and great job with the price!
(beat)
'Kay, bye.

Jeremy hangs up and turns around. Ann is standing in the doorway, eyebrows arched.

ANN
Who the hell was that?

Jeremy shakes his head and shrugs nervously.

JEREMY
Just the boys, baby.

Jeremy walks over and wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her on the lips. She isn't really open to his advances, but laughs anyway when he picks her up and carries her back into the bedroom, setting her down on the covers. He kisses along her jawline, tracing down her neck.

JEREMY (CONT'D)
(between kisses)
Mmm…I love you so much.

Ann forces herself to smile and then slightly pushes her Jeremy off her--enough that he looks up at her, eyes full of concern.

ANN
What was the great price?

Jeremy shifts uncomfortably.

JEREMY
Don't worry about it, okay? Let's just--enjoy tonight.

Ann stares at him, not amused.

ANN
Don't give me bullshit, Jeremy. What the fuck was the great price on?

Jeremy rolls of her and stares up at the ceiling. He groans as she props herself up to look down at him.

ANN (CONT'D)
It was those fucking printers, wasn't it?

Jeremy closes his eyes and doesn't respond.

ANN (CONT'D)
Goddamnit, Jeremy! I fucking told you there was no way we could budget printers--you were supposed to find some god--

JEREMY
Okay, look, you're mad, alright? You're overreacting,but--

ANN
No, Jeremy. I am more than mad. Does this look like my mad face to you?

Jeremy sighs and shakes his head.

ANN (CONT'D)
(taking a breath, collecting her thoughts)
Okay. You know what? Keep your printers, alright?

Jeremy sits up.

JEREMY
Really?

Ann nods.

JEREMY (CONT'D)
Wow, thanks! Are you sure? I mean, I could--

ANN
(holding up one finger)
One condition.

JEREMY
Anything.

Ann smiles at Jeremy.

ANN
You need to fire one of your employees.

JEREMY
(gawking)
They just got here! I can't send one of them home already--they'll lose faith in--

ANN
Shhhh. You got your toys, now you have to pay for them.

Ann rolls over to her side of the bed and gets under the sheets. She turns off her lights, back to Jeremy. Jeremy watches and then sighs exasperatedly.

JEREMY
Does this mean--?

ANN
Go to sleep, Jeremy.

Jeremy closes his eyes in deep thought for a moment. He stares up at the ceiling before finally rolling over and turning off his light.

FADEOUT.

THE END.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmm.. Another excellent episode. I hate you for leaving it hanging like that, but I suppose that's a good thing. Means you've held my interest. Even more so than with the first episode, I would say, and if you can hold my interest with script it will probably be even better seeing it played out. Looking forward to the next episode. ^^ Maybe we'll see Ann a li'l more in the next one? Would like to get to know her character some.. rather than these brief little glimpses

~Rea
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, printers are worth more than people any day!

Just a little side note on lube and eating it by itself: there was this time where a bunch of friends opened a thing of lube (sampler size? I don't know...) and it was some sort of fruit flavor, like passionberry punch or something lame like that. Anyway, they were about to squirt it on their burrito, but then they chickened out and tasted it. It tasted, according to them, like chapstick. So there you go! They quickly decided to blow up some condoms (pun not intended) and then to pour lube all over it and throw around the condom like a balloon toss... but that's for another story.

Post part three soon, OR DIE.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, i have read this one.

Now, I want another one.

Like, now. I've been patient.

(see? You're reduced me to pointless reviews, though I know I had something I wanted to say about this initially...)

Anyway. Next one I won't have such a pointless review I almost want to, like, warn myself to not post such pointlessness.

Also: sunshine is awesome. again.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I saw it online this morning 'fore I left for class, but I didn't have time to sned it.


Wink

Quote:
Ann forces herself to smile and then slightly pushes her Jeremy off her


Intentional?

XD Awesome. Love the intro. I had my face stuffed in a pillow so I wouldn't wake everybody up. Great job. Sunshine and John make a fantastic foil. They work so well together... lol.

lol, brilliant, Brad. Laughing

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Both Sunshine and Lena are awesome. My favorite part was when Lena was like are you eating lube? I couldn't stop laughing. She's a very interesting character, afraid to say I was very interested to find that she had a boyfriend but not surprised after I saw what kind of guy he was. Razz James is awesome to, for for some reason he seems really familiar and I feel like I know him...which is impossible, but you know, it happens.

Onto the next yet again!
When these are over, be ready for me to beg you, yes?

~Rieda

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha, I've finally finished reading this episode Very Happy Sunshine is awesome again; she and Lena are so amusing. I agree with Rieda that James seems oddly familiar o.0 Maybe he's just one of those ... people. Or characters. Or whatever XD

Now for episode 3!

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it, I love, I cannot wait to read more of it. Once again james cusses the sky blue, but it has an actule chartming qulity for him. Also, sunshine keeps her part, being a bitch. Also i like twists this story is taking. You sure like the suspence effect. This commment is not as long as the last on, but i think you get my point. Nice job, and i hopeyou contionue to be just as creative( cannot think of a better word).

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mm, baking soda for breakfast is my FAVE-UH-RIT. With gay bars on the side, please.

Quote:
SUNSHINE
(nodding)
I do, Lena--spiritual food. I noticed the other night that you were very out of balance with your femininity, and this aromatherapy mix of orange, sandalwood, clary sage--

Lena gags.

LENA
Oh my God, I smell like someone just marinated me!

*cracks up*

Quote:
SUNSHINE
(motioning to Lena)
This is Bitch. Bitch, this is Alex, my boyfriend.

Lena blinks, shaking Alex's hand.

ALEX
Nice to meet you, Bitch.

LENA
Yeah, you too…you two are…dating?

Sunshine nods enthusiastically and kisses Alex.

SUNSHINE
We lived together back in Cali, and ohmigod I can't believe you came all the way out here just to see me baby!

Alex picks Sunshine up and twirls her around in the air.

ALEX
For you, my love, anything!

Lena contorts her face in pain.

I love stuff like this.

This is really cool, Brad... I'm liking it. Very Happy

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is great! I'm loving the character of Sunshine more and more and the plot is looking promising with the added competition from Harvey Lions. I think you could maybe have Mr Harris sound a little more bitter and patronising and yet be increasingly eager to sell them the printers, maybe even show the bargaining of the price down.

My favourite part is the end, the suspense is great and I'm looking forward to seeing what Jeremy is going to do. It's going to be a tough decision and I sure wouldn't want to make it.

You have a wonderful sense of humour, Brad. Can't wait to read more.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another great episode. I think I'm starting to get the plot, and I'm looking forward to finding out what's going to happen.

But, what's lube? Is it American or something, 'cause I've never heard of it.

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