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You Think You Know Me
You Think You Know Me

by Monki in Dramatic Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Science-Fiction

This thread was created on February 29, 2008
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Related Items
Possible Related Items Follow:
Mutts - Beginnings
Mutts - Birth
Mutts - Hours
Mutts - Too Much
Mutts - Smell
Mutts - Triangle
Mutts - Storm
Mutts - School
Mutts - Why?
Mutts - Outside
Mutts - End
Mutts - Friends
Mutts - Lunch
Mutts - Touch
Mutts - Where?
Mutts - Red
Mutts - Thunder
Mutts - Enemies
Mutts - Home

Mutts - Green
Topic ID: 26521
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GryphonFledgling   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 9:55 pm    Post subject: Mutts - Green Reply with quote

12/17/07

015 – Green

Everything was green through their goggles, even blood. Thompson had been shot and he was bleeding on the sand. The squad had found a nest of Mutts. So had another squad. Thompson had been caught in the crossfire.

The medic was pounding on Thompson’s chest and breathing into his mouth, trying to drive life back into him. But Thompson’s life slowly ebbed away until he lay cold and dead on the desert floor, along with the entire group of Mutts. One of the soldiers kicked at one, a female.

“It’s creepy how much they look like us,” he commented, peering down at the Mutt’s face.

Everyone ignored him. Mutts may have looked human, but they were anything but human. They were monsters, modern-day Frankensteins, and they were loose in the world.


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Last edited by GryphonFledgling on Wed May 28, 2008 11:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Teh Wozzinator   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gryph!! It took you long enough! I've been waiting for forever for this to come out! Very Happy

Once again, it was short, and I honestly don't have any edits. I liked your "green" thing, it was kind of funny.

I thought that this was really good. I can't believe how you came up with such a good, original story. Why can't I do it??? XD

I can't wait to read more...

Teh Wozzinator

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lyrical_sunshine   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*drools all over Gryphon's beautiful stories*

Oh WOW! I'm so glad I discovered these! I just read all twelve in like twenty minutes. I'm sorry I didn't critique any of them, I'm too lazy for that lol. But I'll give you a critique now. Very Happy


I love, love, love, LOVE your idea of stringing together several separate but related stories. Very unique, incredibly ambitious. It's the kind of stuff that is published and becomes a best seller just because it's so different and awesome. Seriously.

I love that the Mutts are basically werewolves, but you don't think of them as werewolves.

The "articles" were awesome.

Be sure to watch your spelling. Sometimes you switch words... like, I think I saw "hears" when it was supposed to be "ears."

Mostly, however, you have great grammar and beautiful description that has just enough detail without infodumping. Great, great job. I look forward to more.


~Queen Sunny I

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Caligula's Launderette   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, hon. Here we go again.

Very Happy

Ta,
Cal.


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