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Once A Dream, Always A Nightmare
Once A Dream, Always A Nightmare

by niccy_v in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on February 11, 2008
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Liberator, Chapter 2- The BHGA

Liberator, Chapter 1 - Aurin

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:57 am    Post subject: Liberator, Chapter 1 - Aurin Reply with quote

The world engulfed in Chaos,

Wrapped in her cold hands,

The sun will go down,

And will ne'er rise again.

The bones of our fathers,

The bones of our mothers

Shall be cast down into the void

The blood of our sons and daughters

shall be spilt in the streets,

In the name of false causes and crooked wings.

The darkness will ascend

And choke out the hope.

Many will rise,

One will succeed,

One will lead,

One of unknown blood,

One of young age,

One whose light will go out,

One whose courage will free

Everyone.

Ancient Gondolian Scripture, 322 AH (After Handrith)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a quiet day at K.Andaryon High School. The noon sun beat itself down on the side of the building, flitering in through the dusty, warm windows. Inside room HE-3 there was a drab, monotonous lecture being given. Thirty-three bored students watched the teacher lethargically.

"...And with the victory at the Barrow Peninsula, the Gondolians marched north, up along the Baalanden river, to their ancient ancestral homeland, Allatar. There, they found sweet green grass, and a host of thousands of Dragonkin, whom they met in glorious battle... "

Aurin Acolyse, a boy of 16 who sat at the back, leaning backwards and with his red eyes, stared at the ceiling, counting the dots, thought in his mind, Glorious battle and slaughter, it's all the same shit to me. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

He yawned and felt something vibrate in his pocket. Startled, he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his Long Range Text Transporter Device, or the LD, as it was colloquially called.

He read the three words sent to him, black pixels against a small square of flourescent green.

It said, "Big contract, kid."

He slid out the text-entry board and typed back, "I told u not 2 text me while Im @ school." He hit the "Send" button.

"...The Gondolians suddenly suffered heavy casualties in a matter of hours, and the enemy only seemed to multiply, and their leader, Agranosh, seemed to be slaughtering hundreds by himself- until Handrithias, the one his people started to call the Liberator for his courageousness and nobility, stepped up from the piles of corpses and stabbed the great Dragonkin in the back, through his heart..."

A reply came one minute later. It said, "It's important. De la Rocha is paying 6 figures to whoever can do it. He thinks me and you and Athen can do it."

Aurin immediately forgot about school. He typed back furiously, "6 figures?! Thts insane! Wat does he want done?" He hit send again, eager for the response.

The LD buzzed again. Aurin opened the message and it said "I'll tell you later. I will be at your house at 3:40. Get ready, and look for a black troika out front."

"...But the evil energies of Agranosh poured onto Handrithias, and destroyed Handrithias' mind. He died immediately, but the damage was still done-" the teacher droned. "The Gondolians were lifted from slavery and the Dragonkin were defeated..."

Aurin put away the LD, quivering with excitement. 6 figures? I could buy food for months and never have to go to the market! Hell, I could buy a good troika for half that! He smirked wickedly.

"Is there something about the sacrifice of the world's greatest hero that amuses you, Mr. Acolyse?" the teacher asked. Thirty-two students turned and stared at Aurin. Aurin started.

"No sir, I am just grateful to have my freedom and because I have The Liberator to thank," he lied. Aurin really didn't care at all about some heroic fairy tale that probably never even happened.

The teacher turned back to the chalkboard, and the crude map drawn on it. "As I was saying, soon the Dragonkin were driven back to Savage Wind Valley, and the Gondolians were free to live there own lives. They created two realms; Handrith, after the Liberator who gave his life so that they could be free, and who was also their first King; And Andiath, named for his twin sister, Andathriel the Silent, who became advisor to Garion, Handriath's son and the new King of the Gondolians."

"Representin' Andiath!" some joker in the back shouted.

The teacher ignored him. "And so the Gondolians lived in freedom, from then until now."

The bell rang. The students gratefully jumped to their feet. "Turn in your notes, turn in your notes," the teacher said tiredly.

Aurin was the first out. He ran past hordes of teenagers, sat on the handrails, and slid down the stairs at a high velocity, whooping wildly, and dove out the front door, jumping over the stairs and ran home, yelling "Six figures!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nation of the Union of Aramis is currently in discord.

It is the year 1935...The country's supply of Arcanium is running out, and violence is erupting in the streets. Luminon- People whose genetic code has been exposed either directly to Arcanium or have certain ammounts of it passed down from older generations, and thus have powerful abilities- are said to be behind nearly every crime in the western seaboard, and at least three-hundred and seventeen of them have been imprisoned and euthanised as of January 1934.

The Elder council is now concidering a genocide campaigne against every single Luminon and Gondolian in the Union.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aurin stepped in through the door, and yelled "I'm home."

Maia, his sister, turned the corner, walked up to him. She had a bowl in her hand and a rag in the other. "Hey. How was school?"

"Boring as fuck," Aurin said, and threw his bookbag on the chair by the TV.

Maia frowned. "Watch your tongue, Aurin."

"Not my mom, Maia." he said, not even to be mean; he sincerely wanted her to know that.

"Yeah but I'm the oldest of the three of us-I got 3 on you, pup- and if you don't listen to me, I have the right to sock you in the neck. Or starve you." she said, somewhat joking. "Besides, who are you going to listen to if not me? Your consience? He ain't been active lately."

"I know," he said. "Things are starting to look up."

"Are they?" she asked. "How so?"

"You'll see," Aurin replied, and winked.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "Be cryptic, I don't care. I have dishes to wash. You two eat like pigs." She turned around and went back into the kitchen.

Aurin strode and double-timed it up the stairs and into his room.

Taren, his younger brother of 13, was there, playing the video game system on Aurin's TV.

"I told you to stay out of my room, jackass." Aurin snarled, and grabbed the hood of Taren's sweater.

"Maia told me I could play your games!" Taren cried, in immediate defense of himself.

"Ok fine, take the damn thing into your room or something, I have to change." he let go of Taren's hood. Taren unplugged the TV, folded it up, unplugged the video game system and bundled the whole debacle in his arms. He was about to leave when Aurin grabbed his hood again, though not hard.

"Hey, listen...Are you feeling...it...again?" he asked.

Taren frowned, understanding. "I tried using it on a mug on the table this morning. It lifted up like, two feet I think. I let it fall on the floor and it broke..."he whispered. "I got a headache, but two feet..."

Aurin felt immediate concern. "Two feet? That's more that last time. You're getting stronger with it." he said, and whispered," Look, mum's the word, okay? Don't tell Maia or anybody. Anybody. Just tell me, okay?"

Taren nodded.

"Now listen...I just got a message from Jonathan. De la Rocha signed a contract, and he wants me, Jonathan, and Athen to do it. I might be out late...I might not. Just tell Maia not to worry, ok? We're getting paid 6 figures." he whispered. "Might even buy you one of those of your own," he added, meaning the video game system.

"Just be careful, okay? I'm tired of Maia crawling up my ass about letting you go on these dangerous contracts of yours and coming back bandaged up like a mummy," Taren said. "6 figures won't mean anything if we have to spend it on your hospital bill."

"Me? Careful's my middle name!"

"No, its Alanheim," Taren countered.

"You know what I mean, smart-ass."

Taren walked over to the window and looked out. "There's a black troika out front."

"That's Jonathan...I need to get dressed. Get out of my room, I'm dropping drawers."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aurin stepped out the front door, his leather pants squeaking and his scabbard bouncing against his thigh. He clicked his brooch shut. He walked over to the car parked out on the sidewalk- Wispy cigarrete smoke floated out of the open windows. He leaned onto the window and looked into the faces of Jonathan and Athen.

Jonathan was a man of age somewhere between twenty-eight and thirty- He had an interesting pompadour, long straight sideburns, and a scar perpedicular to the bridge of his nose. He was also strikingly handsome, in a rough beat-your-ass sort of way. Jonathan was essentially Aurin's best adult friend, as well as a multiple-ocassion comrade. They had been through alot and had been paid alot over the years for their effectiveness.

Athen was not so handsome, but he was certainly burlier. The black man had a shadowy record but one thing everyone knew was that he was prone to starting shit on purpose just so he could get in a firefight. Such mercenaries were dangerous to his colleagues, but Aurin understood the man and even wanted to join him in such shenanigans.

"Looking cute, Raggedy Anne. Ready for some action?" Jonathan asked.

"Raggedy Anne? Practice in the mirror much, Jonathan?" Aurin said, and opened the back door and sat in the back seat. He secured himself into his seatbelt.

"We're going to HQ to pick up some stuff...De la Rocha wants to see you anyway."

"Hi-ho, Silver, awayy," Aurin muttered breathily.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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Last edited by Overclock on Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:17 am; edited 4 times in total
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heya there clock!

First off, did you make that poem? If he did, its great! And if you didn't, its still pretty good anyway Very Happy

'Inside room HE-3 there was a lecture being given, one in monotone.'

I don't understand this, did you mean to put 'one' it doesn't rally fit. Even fi you took it wawy, the sentence wowuld still be a bit drab... and montone lol. Try 'Inside room HE-3, a lecture in drab monotone was underway' Just a thought

'me.He' space!

I won't do the gramar for the rest, but read through it once more and I;m sure you will pick it out!

I liked this story, original and not bad really. Careful not to make it too cliche if I know where you're going.

Keep writing!

~D'Aedomir~

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the crit, aed.

And yes, I did the poem myself, even though I kinda pulled it out of my butt X_x

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love that poem! Don't make it too cliche by making your story set about 'the one' who will dsave everyone lol. Nah, your story is realy cool, keep at it!

Keep writing!

~D'Aedomir~

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I put your thread title in more proper capitalization rather than all caps. Unless it's artistic capitalization and completely necessary, don't do it. It's annoying, haha, so us Mods end up editing it out. Smile

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This thread was created on February 11, 2008

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