All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows

Trusting those around you is an easy thing to do

I'm not saying don't believe in someone that you don't know

Just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells the truth

-No Use For A Name: Chasing Rainbows-

**********

The enclosure erupted with noise, while the stands reverberated with old fatigue. A shroud of limelight’s glistened (each one glinting with a inviting glare) from neon lamps, emitting chromatic shades, while many perfumes and other bodily smells rose off the people in a colourful cocktail.

A band set up in a corner tried to play over the noise in a joyous ragtime. The colossal dins tried to beat each other as the musicians played like men possessed; red of face, panting between breathes, but still performing through sheer act of mind.

Gradually, the din hushed and the Orchestra stopped, some collapsing. As the crowd’s eyes stirred from each other and towards the heart of the marquee, to witness a middle-aged man saunter out dressed in red, an inky black hat balancing on his head the rim shielding his right eye. A long vivid light following his movement all the way to the hub.

Once, all was quiet, he spoke.

“Ladies and gentlemen! The act you’ve been waiting for all night,” the man’s voice boomed, “the most popular part of the night featuring son and daughter of the world celebrated acrobat couple Antio and Melissa.” He took a long dramatic breath, “The brother and sister duo Alexzander and Sierra!” Again pausing his face lit up in glee, “…Tonight for first time ever will perform their parents’ signature feat ‘Blind Luck’!”

A cacophony of ovations and riotous cheers caused the stands to creek.

Waiting until it quieted down, he continued, “Tonight we’ll see if Alexzander and Sierra will succeed where their parents failed?”

The audience gasped.

“Or will they fall short ending their successful career in a night?” While he spoke, he took a sideward glance at Antio, smirking, while he juggled the enthusiasm of the rabble.

Letting out sounds of reverence consisting of oooohs’ and aaaaahs’, their hungry eyes filled with wonder.

Alexzander heard nothing as he bowed several times and smiled misleadingly, rolling his eyes down at the peasants who wouldn’t dare try this. Though they still gazed at them and countless others, agog in his statuette marvel, while Sierra and he performed what seemed impossible to most.

During these times it was understandable that they expected to be entertained, though on no account was this worth the extra salary he got to keep morale alive, throughout times of tension.

Still, no doubt many of them had lost someone in this dreadful conflict, which everyone but the religious powers and Loka’sawian Government wanted to end. It had been going for twenty endless years!

Alexzander knew that they all loved him; it made him feel amazing, exhilarated, a god among men; always giving them what they asked for and rarely failing.

His family was known all through the continent of Loka’saw, him especially.

Positioned on a tall trunk-like structure, sporting bright, garish colours, Alexzander felt no joy from these bright and psychedelic shades, appealing only to those intoxicated on Shoth. Another lovely thing gained from this struggle. Imported all the way from the other continent, spoils of battles from an un-won war. They could be smoked, drunk or ingested.

Looking through the sea of faces, the many stands packed to the brim, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to fall and be crushed. Then there were people who couldn’t be bothered moving when the show began...

The stench overpowered anyone insane enough to walk past them. It was hardly ever cleaned: cleaning duty was assigned by bad luck, and not very often. Each person drew a single pebble out of a bag of stones, one of which had the fateful words "Bench and Stands Duty" inscribed on its surface. Sighing in exasperation he cursed letting himself drift into persiflage. Forcing his mind to focus he reminded himself, distractions is how amateur mistakes are made.

It was the most daring thing he had ever done. He felt at this point nothing could stop him, that he was invulnerable and no way would he make the same mistake his father had.

Alexzander Mindirras’ career would flourish and burn everlastingly!

His sister, Sierra stood on a smaller pillar grinning intently at him. She was a few years older than him, had long flaxen shining hair, which she always kept loose; for she had expressed to him many times that she loved feeling of it flying as she fell.

Thick, eyelashes made her azure eyes stand out on her countenance. Her lips were decorated with crimson lipstick, which shimmered on her fragile youthful face.

Alexzander smiled to himself; yes, it was no surprise men wanted her- if only for appearance. It would be best if they knew without the make-up she was about as heavenly as a harlot. Many the man and adolescent boy -blinded by her feats and make-up- had tried vainly to flirt and gain his sister’s love, but she politely refused. Gradually the refusal had become colder. He could see her shifting feet and hands tightly clasped. Slowly her face lifted and though she appeared nervous her eyes were totally resolute.

From far below, he could barely see their parents, screaming out words of encouragement as his Dad genuflected clumsily, in an act of excitement and pure joy.

Shutting his eyes, he walked carefully off, thoroughly confident, before leaping in mid-air.

On the opposite side was his sister. Alert and waiting for her moment, she went over the plan rapidly in her head.

Her job was to catch him at the last minute. The problem was if there was no safety net below and… well, she wouldn’t let that bother her.

They were finally considered skilled and old enough to try this. He felt no fear sailing down--plummeting; the wind rushed through his whole body, then he was aware of his sister grasping his hands. As he gripped hers in return, he felt a warmth and clamminess, showing she was nervous. Ignoring this he smiled widely and madly. She threw him on to her former platform.

Sierra climbed on the trapeze, and then, while it still moved, she leapt facing away from the destination column on to the higher one, her beautiful long blond hair flying free.

Twinkles, glittering from her elbows, made both arms appear to be pure light, completing the lie that she was a Goddess.

Landing, she sighed quickly in relief the heart pounding, her chest as if were a cannon ball.

But now it was time for the finale.

Leaping she caught with her legs and looped them round the stool; then she raised two fingers to her lips and let a shrill and piercing sound free, throwing himself off backwards as soon as the sound was uttered she speedily caught him still gripping the stool with her legs and with astonishing strength she flung Alexzander into the air. Coming down he landed on the swing. Having not one second to relax, she whistled again, he leapt blindly back over to his pillar.

There was no mistaking the sound of the peasants. As he leapt easily over they cried out in shock; and no mistaking the fawning of girls impressed by mere feats, easily accomplished.

Sierra swung a few more times on the trapeze her elegant movements as she balanced with one foot hooked on, then flipping to perform the splits of in mid air.

Each strands of her hair splaying out in all directions -creating a mane-. Before it fell.

The worse was over; finally she preformed a forward roll in mid-air, her dextrous fingers catching hold of the bar and clambering up.

Not wasting one second she got up on to her hands and head. The legs pointing towards the roof of the canvas.

Once she got in position, the crowd was silent.

Blood rushed to her skull, but keeping eyes on the people, she ignored dizziness and nausea.

Vaulting once more to the trapeze, he landed on her bare feet, the trapeze still swinging like a pendulum of a very gargantuan clock. The crowd a visible blur of colour and noise.

Lastly, she swung trapeze more. Alexzander opened his eyes, the bright fluorescents lights dazzling him briefly as he strained to see and leapt gracefully back to his own pillar, while Sierra moved back to hers.

The noise was colossal as they bowed and embraced the overall admiration; flowers were thrown into the centre. They would brag to their friends and family blowing it so hugely out of proportion that even world’s greatest trickster would be impressed.

Turning around Alexzander saw Sierra on his pillar smiling and blowing kisses to all her admirers. The look of nervousness she had worn originally now, nowhere to be found, there had been no reason for her to be so anxious anyway, as she now even looked alive beaming.

No one, who’d watched would understand how it felt, how much of a rush you got. The sensation it gave.

Searching the stands, he looked for anyone worth giving an autograph to. Someone he would get more than a little, ‘that was great’. He winked at his sister grinning and bowed.

Sierra sighed to herself still blowing kisses. She’d not at first made such a show of devouring their admiration. It had once been a brilliant ovation and a few bows.

It was horrible knowing Jared stared at her, the skin-tight leotard leaving not much to the imagination. And even now his leering stares, creating a clammy tense feeling between the shallow façade of tight revealing outfit.

Seeing all those normal girls watch with such envy. If only they knew…

Alexzander took one last standing ovation, extravagantly bowing and enjoying the reaction he got. Then headed down the long descent. In this world love was bought and sold, or you were born into it.

The ladder, shuddering as he climbed down; it wouldn’t of mattered if it shook and threatened to break. Nothing could kill the mood, the belief of invulnerability.

Sierra blew a few more kisses, cradling the love in each kiss: genuine devotion apparent. Once done, she followed him down.

Before his foot even touched scraped over the hard dirt, his mum swept him up in a constricting embrace, her strength still showing after all those years.

Taking a deep breath, he let her drone on.

“Well done! Oh, well done! You were so amazing up there, your Father and I --” Her voice faded and she stopped the embrace, Alexzander could hear no more under the tumultuous crowd. Bright moss coloured eyes rolled almost inside his head. Slouching against the pillar he waved his hand at the crowd passively, before placing them on one of the pillars. The signs of a moustache were visible under his nose.

Uninterested in the crowd, he let his long fingers dance over the wood, and carry on to chip the already stripped pillar. He let the admiration wash over him, stimulating him, glancing up to see his Dad limping ardently towards them, weeping tears of joy.

“Well done, both you and Sierra performed the act perfectly!” their Father stated heartily, “You amazed me tonight, both of you!"

Sierra came up from behind, smiling, and walked over to Alexzander, pulling him away from their parent’s.

Once she felt it was far enough, she started, clearly still high from before, "I admit, Alexzander, I was scared and worried." Sierra spoke, flustered but also excited "Weren’t you worried?” Sierra asked as she looked into his sharp eyes. “Even though it felt amazing, I still worried,"

“Sierra, we are worshipped like gods; why should we fear? We were born to last.” He stood shocked; his hands animated, reflecting his stubbornness.

“Even if we were lucky tonight, doesn’t mean we will be lucky forever. Sometimes I worry that it will run out.” Edging uneasily closer, her eyes stared into him with such sincerity.

“Never fear! People, like ourselves don’t burn out like fireworks; we are shooting stars.” Pointing towards the sky he traced an invisible path while he spoke.

“It’s not me I’m worried about, it’s you! Just be careful,” Sierra continued, “I’d rather you were a little cautious, than be shot into the dust because you attempted to reach too high.” She stared with more intensity and through the apparent love was loathing of what he was saying.

“When have I ever shot too high?! You’ve nothing to fear. I’ll be careful,”

Alexzander said calmly, holding back laughter of disbelief. Why was his sister worried about him falling when he was the indefinite shooting star?

Before Sierra walked away she added, “Don’t shoot too high my brother! Eventually shooting stars burn out and vanish.” Her gaze penetrated him like a dagger and as she walked away, it was almost as if she had given up.

“I’ll be fine!” How dare she, how dare she - accuses me of shooting too high. I’ll last, the strong and fearless last, the weak and puny fall. My dear, dear sister it shall be you who doesn’t last. Not I.

Sierra looked back; opening her mouth slightly as if she were going to add something but when she saw how enraged he was she turned back round and continued to walk, her stance upright and tense.

Now severely nettled, he left the big top, also heading for his trailer.

After all the guests had left, some looking thoroughly drunk. The marquee was cleared of everything. Antio began to limp off leaning on Melissa and sighing, her expression imperceptible.

Sometimes she wished he were like he’d once been. It wasn’t she didn’t love Antio, she knew he hated being forced to do this. Jared’s cost cutting infuriated her, a safety net down below trapeze wouldn’t have been expensive and kept her husband fit and able. The man she’d first fallen for had been strong, brave, and proud… He still tried to be, but the wolf inside him had died that night. Melissa hated most that Jared thought of him as half a man. Her Antio was no different than any other man.

The bastard.

Just then they both heard shouting, “Melissa! Antio! I need to see you.” Sighing involuntary they made their way over to him.

“Well done my Soaring Mindirras’! Antio, Melissa, your children have phenomenal talent and skill. They could really go places.” Jared chuckled expectantly in his dazzling maroon costume. In his hand he held a whip and his sleek, black top hat.

Antio took a step closer; his posture growing tense, saying, "No, no. I’ve told you before Jared I’m not interested in any such deal or undertaking with you! I may be handicap, but I know you’ve other such business Jared Lyons and I wouldn’t trust you with anything as special to me as our only son and daughter! We are family; we shall stay a family and always be a family!”

Her heart fluttered, the fire, the passion, it reminded her of the early day. She nodded in agreement her eyes full of intense hatred, but her they were strangely hot and wet. “Jared Lyons, just be glad we can’t find work else where. For I’d rather I was far away from you with my family.” As she spoke she stood up fast, eyes almost slitted: her voice low and menacing.

“But Antio your children can really go far!” Ignoring Melissa completely he continued. “They could leave and earn more money elsewhere!” added Jared who bobbed his head in agreement to his own statement, holding his hat on with one hand.

“No Jared you just don’t get it, do you? They’re staying here and don’t think I don’t know you’re various connections. You can’t have Sierra or Alexzander. Grow up; you call yourself a man, the girl only nineteen! She’s not yours to have.” Antio huffed while he spoke one hand tightening over the crutch, reddening it.

“Very well, but remember, I started you off and could very well end your career," he sneered, "or should I say ‘family business’ like this--” With that he took the whip in his hand and cracked it on the ground, laughing at his clever example. Curling his fingers, Antio made a fist with his free raising fast, but his wife quickly grabbed his arm, preventing him from striking Jared’s nose.

She groaned, why did she stop him? He damn deserved it, and she wanted to break his neck - to stop his taunts for good.

He stopped laughing when he saw the fist and, waving his finger to and fro right in Antio face, said, “Now, now, now, Antio, you should try to control your temper especially as you wouldn’t last very long in a fight.” They both stared icily at each other then Jared sneered “--Oh did you forget the little problem of walking? Too bad! Now get out my sight, before I send your whole family on to the streets! Don’t think I won’t, you do after all know me, or so you claim, so never think I need you. I don’t!”

Melissa pulled Antio away hard (seeing signs of explosive consequences) controlling her own fury.

He’d no right, her family risked life and limb for him and he didn’t need it.

They headed back to their trailers.

Antio thought about how his two children had both managed ‘Blind Luck’ and had shown their teamwork skills. It made him proud to be their father.

The rain spattered down creating puddles in the turf. Melissa carried him on her shoulder ignoring the pain. She stopped suddenly and whispered his name, “Antio…”

He heard and spun around, “That was brave…”

“It was foolish… he’s right…

Looking deep into his still eyes, (no rivers of joy flowing from within), she elicited, “My husband…”

“Jared’s right.” He whimpered.

“No, Antio. You’re the most respectful man I know. You’re more a man than Jared.”

“Lets hope our children escape this hell,” he mumbled.

Leaning over he kissed her softly, stinging tears over her eyes.

They then hurried along, not wanting to get their performance costumes too sodden. In the distance, the sounds of circus music played a new mournful tune; a devilish ragtime.

The various jaded structures drab and fake shades, a weak merciless disguise of happiness, creating the biggest lie in the business. The colours looked no brighter to him than in actuality, just moaned of the turmoil they all went through. The circus just hides behind this, fooling all except those who knew it.

While they rushed to shelter, the shapes imposed over the ground in threatening shadows, the haunting cages, with all tools of the trade, large and small, forming these cruel silhouettes.

The circus had been his life for so long. Many a dream-filled child wish of running away to the circus… if only they knew…

Now it had become apparent he needed to settle down with his kids.

At dinner, he thought to himself as he and his wife darted to their room, I will ask them.

As the couple continued to splash in the puddles, Antio caught a brief snatch of voices somewhere nearby:

“Don’t forget… they need too… No messing up… this job… if… contract…”

He looked over his shoulder but couldn't see anyone. Must be behind one of the trailers, he thought. Escorting his wife to her trailer he then went to his own pushing over the wooden door open.

Melissa watched him vanish into his caravan from doorway, and wished - considered to go in with him. Show her love was still thousands time strong as it once been. How could someone be so heartless, as to separate a husband and wife away from each other?

Antio stood in the middle of his caravan and shivered. It was inexplicably cool inside the confined space, and he could feel a draft against the back of his neck. Rubbing his arms to ward off the chill he turned his head and saw that the window was open. He hobbled over and pulled it shut. Surely he had fastened it before leaving for the night? Struck by a sudden paranoia, he glanced around the caravan with fresh eyes, searching for some sign that things had changed.

A knock interrupted the silence causing his heart to scream in shock

“Who is it?” he replied plaintively. He then frowned at his voice and responded with a braver edge to it, “Who is it?”

“It’s Sierra. Let me in, I need to talk to you,” answered the feminine voice coming from out in the rain.

“Can’t this wait for dinner?”

“No Dad, sorry, it can’t. Please let me in”

“Very well,” he answered unlocking the door.

She walked in, skin- drenched and dripping all around her so that small puddles, were formed. Her leotard soaked and hair impersonating a mop.

Antio stifled a giggle at her appearance before sighing “Well, Sierra, what can’t wait until dinner?” Sitting down on the nearest chair he crumpled irritated.

“Its Alexzander, It scares me how he never seemed afraid during ‘Blind Luck’. I have to ask, were you afraid father?” While she spoke her face and body were animated.

“What do you mean by that? Do you mean this night as I watched or when I preformed it?” Antio’s eyes fell over his leg, the night coming back so vividly.

“I mean…”

Suddenly he cried out agonizingly and bent over, “Arrrrrrrrrrgh…”

Sierra shot to his side, her face laden with worry, “Dad! Father! …You okay?”

Antio pushed her away angrily and stood up his eyes awash with tears “That was long ago… I’d… rather… …not …talk about… it…”

She admired her father strength, but didn’t want him to over do it, “Father please sit down. It’s not good for you to stand without your crutch.”

He winced digging his fingers into his skin, “Sierra… it’s a matter of pride… Jared… takes all chances he can to taunt me about my problem… And sadly …I’ve grown jealous of ….you… and Alexzander’s success…”

Antio fell back against the seat and sighed miserably, “How can you look up to me…, when you soar like a bird…, totally free… ...and I gaze with such sadness…”

Sitting down he groaned miserably, leaning back over the chair. Throwing his face into his hands he sighed so depressed, moving his hand pointed towards the drawers gesturing towards his crutch, “Sierra be a dear and get my crutch, even if it makes me half of a man, I need it…”

She hated seeing her Father so miserable, but she needed to know. She gulped afraid, her hands shaking, “Father, were you afraid?” Holding out his crutch almost like a shield with expected onslaught

Laying his head in his hands again he took the crutch, “Please… please… you’ve got your life…, …I’m half a man…, …don’t remind me of my failings!”

Moving a little closer she nervously probed, she had to be sure, “Father, I need to know!”

Standing up he stood over her, and looked into her eyes, “Go… now!” The power in those two words was astoundingly effective.

Nodding, her lip trembling slightly she left, turning back to add, “Please don’t push yourself too hard?”

“Out!”

Turning away from the door he sighed, left wondering who could have been in here.

He remembered the talk with his boss. That man had an awful lot of power throughout this area, which worried but strengthened Antio; that man would not break up his family.

Changing slowing, he gripped any firm object to keep his balance; pulling his circus costume off until he was standing in his underwear in front of the mirror. Antio was very muscular and had a white wolf tattoo howling on his back. Except for a balding spot on top of his head the rest was covered with rich inky black hair. Melissa had told him that his eyes were like twin drops of water with such compassion within.

Reaching to his neck was a short fluffy beard, with finely chiselled features. Many of his admirers loved him but they were slowly shifting towards his handsome son.

Antio started to slip on his formal clothes, a pair of polished black shoes, some well-worn black trousers and his dinner jacket, almost mechanically.

He took one last look at this room; it had been his home ever since Jared had taken him in.

The room was nothing amazing, but to him it was home. A long narrow bed, a few knick-knacks he had collected were scattered around the room, along with posters advertising and praising his performances and acts and his children’s’. Shows were arranged on the walls next to his, starting with Sierra and Alexzander as a young kids, then gradually becoming the centre of attention on all posters.

A wardrobe was propped against the other wall and it housed all the costumes he’d ever had. The whole boarding room seemed quaint and happy, but to Antio it was a room full of lost memories.

He lifted his crutch and hobbled over to the door pushing it open and headed out to meet his family for dinner, limping with his crutch in his hand, smiling - if only fake.

It had stopped raining.

*******************************

Alexzander lay on his mattress, dozing slightly, contemplating. Sierra sure had struck a nerve. Why should he of been afraid? He’d practiced thousands of times before, every time as graceful and well done as the last. He sighed, ruffling his hands through his hair in frustration. Why had her words affected him so much? A look around his room was enough to kill any feelings of fear. Posters with such exclamations as

“The Gravity Defying Duo”,

“Alexzander and Sierra Angels of Joy”

and

“The Dove and Eagle of Loka’saw”

Just glancing at such praises he knew he’d do it. Long ago he’d talked to his Mum about this, but she was preoccupied with his Father and even he could see, she hated everything this place stood for. Though money was always an incentive to him, and the admiration.

Alexzander sighed.

He had no time to think about these frivolous things. He hadn’t died doing the stunt and wasn’t planning on doing so.

He couldn’t.

His sister was just jealous at his talent.

Smirking at the ingenuity of it.

Well, if my dearest sister Sierra is jealous, he thought to himself, then it’s time to raise the stakes even higher! Smiling to him self, he climbed off his bed and began to change.

***********************************

The circus master grinned. He posed in front of his mirror, speaking to himself in a businesslike manner, holding blank applications in his hands, “It’s not easy to find fresh talent! For god sake they have so much potential! Alexzander and Sierra, oh, how they rake in the customers. But that father of theirs, he’ll need to be taken down a peg or two, I wonder…

You wily thing Jared, yes but the boy could be useful, but oh Sierra it was time to end this pointless charade of this show business and take what he really wanted, by force if necessary.

He held his hand out to his reflection before he sat down. He leaned back in his chair, running his bony fingers through his short russet hair. His dark - dark brown - almost black eyes, were calm, but sadistic. The crimson ringleader uniform was now creased, ruffled, and looking less magnificent than it was in the main tent. He grinned maliciously, “Maybe…” he pondered, “--Just maybe the father needs some good old fashioned persuasion. I wonder if he’d respond to…”

He laughed sinisterly. “When I’m finished with that annoyance and of course Melissa she can’t be left alone. So… Jared if both their Mother and Father are incapacitated, so to speak, the family they’d need a guardian and if I could gain both their trust maybe Sierra would…. Ah Excellent.” He chortled, amused, adding the finishing touches onto his thoughts, knowing that nobody could accuse him of not having high ambitions. He smiled, nothing lasts and he was sick of this business.

It’s end game.