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A piece of writing...
A piece of writing...

by pirate_lover56227 in Action/Adventure Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on February 7, 2008
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Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 1
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 2
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 3
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 4
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 5
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 6
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 7
Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 9

Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 8
Topic ID: 25691
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Whisper91   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:07 am    Post subject: Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 8 Reply with quote

Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 8, "No Failures":

The people of Lydighet's village were in bondage, having been taken down into the plains surrounding the Dark One's plateau for their indoctrination into the Minions of Death. The Dark One's magic had been removed from the fortress city, and now all could see the fortified city's true form. The procession had been dismissed, some with the humans and some back into the palace-fortress. The great Slange Returnert now turned to face his most deadly military unit, the Middlers. He had forgotten all of their names, lost to the vast ocean of knowledge stored in the catacombs of his mind, except Lurt. He remember that one. He was the village man from the far northwest. He was the one that was supposed to bring the old man.

He spoke now to this new member of the Middlers, “Middel Lurt, you have brought your people as you were commanded. This is good.”

Returnert sneered as the pathetic being went to his knee, bowing.

“But. . . you have forgotten something,” Returnert sensed the man's facial flesh tighten, “Remember? I told you to ensure that the old man came with. I did not feel his presence in the crowd you just brought. Is there another mob that contains the elder?”

Fumbling for the correct words, Lurt blurted, “No, my liege, I attempted to bring him, but he refused. The woman Jenta could not convince him to come. Also. . .”

Returnert, raising an eyebrow slightly, interrupted, “Was he the only one who remained behind?”

“No, m'lord,” Lurt started, feeling he was losing ground, “I was just coming to that. There was one other family that chose to remain.”

Returnert gritted his teeth together, How could this fool be so sloppy? Even the least experienced man-beast could accomplish this task more thoroughly!

Returnert again addressed the quivering Middel with an ever so slight tone of hatred and despise, “You, Lurt, have failed. I do not use failures. I have no choice but to terminate your function.”

The other Middlers secured Lurt in his place. Returnert would use the standard execution method. Locking his steel tipped fingers around each side of Lurt's jaw, Returnert ripped up with lightning speed, tearing the jaw off the face while breaking the man's neck with the yanking motion. It was done perfectly. Blood covered his hands and dripped from the mutilated face of the limp body.

“Go take the body to boy-beasts,” he glanced at the remaining three, “They will dispose of the rest. When you're done, head down into the city and begin training the men that just arrived. They will finish Lurt's job. Go.”

Hefting the body between two of them, the third leading, the trio headed toward the boy-servant's door toward the palace-fortress's front.

Returnert began walking over to the nearby cliff, I must eliminate that old man. He's far to dangerous. The Dark One has said so. Will he dispose of me now that I've failed in this task? Can he afford it? Returnert reached the cliff's edge, casting the bloody jaw below onto the ever-growing pile of rotting flesh. There are too many failures, Returnert brooded, I'm going to need another Middel.

He turned and headed toward the palace. After taking a dozen steps, he stopped. Scanning the area, Returnert reached down, placing his hand on the grass. A second later, the patch of grass tore apart, revealing a stone stairwell angling into the earth. Returnert descended. Grass twitched and closed shut over the stairs, plunging Returnert into darkness.

Was that "tearing-the-jaw-off" bit enough for a PG-13 rating? I think I would apply that rating to all the Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer stuff if it should go on this segment.

If you enjoyed this, check out Of the Lands of Ray and Hammer, Segment 1 (Topic 25233)!


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This thread was created on February 7, 2008

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