Topic ID: 25690
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| Which Haiku was the best? |
| Right or Wrong? |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
| Haiku de Chip |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Hippopotamus |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
| More Haiku Blues |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
| Sharks |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| I'm done |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
| I hated them all |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 7 |
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| Author |
Message |
Teh Wozzinator
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 Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 12:22 am Post subject: My Haikus |
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Okay, this is a collection of my haikus. I was going to put up limericks and poems as well, but I realized that I’d already posted them up. (Willie the Goldfish—Limerick, Willie the Goldfish—four-line poem, and Two Cents were all of my others.) READ AT YOUR OWN RISK (XD lol) Actually, the only one I really like was number one, but I'm not going to make a post for a single haiku.
HAIKU'S
Right or Wrong?
Half the time I’m right,
Sixty percent of the time
I am incorrect.
Haiku de Chip (this is a rhyming haiku, and a bad one as well)
Why would you want those,
When you can have Doritos,
And/or corn Fritos?
The Hippopotamus/Haiku Blues (lol!)
Hippopotamus.
I can’t say anything else
‘Cause line one is used.
More Haiku Blues
I’d like to talk to…
(You) but I can’t ‘cause I’m out…
Of talking room here……
Sharks
Sharks are big and gray,
Well, usually they’re like that.
But one is called “White”.
I’m Done With Haikus For Now
I’ll stop killing you,
Because these aren’t very good,
They’re painful to read. |
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Last edited by Teh Wozzinator on Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:59 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Gadi.
that was good ... for your age
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:13 am Post subject: |
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You know what?
You're actually good! I laughed EVERY single one. EVERY single one.
They were inspiring.
In fact, I'm going to write one right now!
Oh, you're too modest--
no, really, you should be so proud.
I should high-five you!
Terrible, eh? |
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Teh Wozzinator
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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Haha, wow, thanks!
But about your haiku...
Your second line is eight syllables, it's supposed to be seven! lol! Get rid of the "so" in it, and yours would be good. (Yours made me laugh, too. ;D) |
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Y'know, I've heard that scientists have started using lawyers for tests instead of rats for two reasons. One, because the scientists got less attached to lawyers, and two, because there are some things that even rats won't do...
~Hook |
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Jasmine Hart
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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I liked the first one.
'Sixty percent of the time'
may serve you better.
I really enjoyed
The lovely 'haiku de chip'.
I would not change it.
The next one is good.
But try 'I've run out of lines'
For the last sentence.
The next one is great.
It's perfect just as it is.
A lovely haiku.
I didn't like "sharks'
as much as the other ones.
It wasn't as fun.
The last one was great,
A wonderful conclusion
To your haiku set.
Haha. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist! |
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GryphonFledgling
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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I liked these. They sound like my own haiku drivel... My personal favorite was the first, though the two "Haiku Blues" ones are a close second.
"I Heart Haiku"
Short. Sweet. To the point.
Without the stupid rhyme scheme
Mucking my work up.
I commend you on these... *applause*
~GryphonFledgling |
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Aedomir
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Hey there! Long time no see 
'But sixty percent of time'
I know it needs to fit a certain amount of sylablls, but if it doesn't fit, rewrite it. It needs 'the time' to make sense, but then it would't fit I know.
'Why would you want those,
When you can have Doritos,
And/or corn Fritos?'
This one had me in stitches. It was like a mcdonalds advert.
I liked the first and last ones, thy're really good! Actually, that's ironic because the last one is about them being bad, and I liked it. 
Anyway, they're not bad!
Keep writing!
~D'Aedomir~ |
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TickledPink
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| Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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Here's my Haiku
Haiku, hard to write
But me, i beg to differ.
Could be my talent.
I love haikus |
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Teh Wozzinator
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| Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:00 am Post subject: |
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I realize that "Sharks" isn't much like the others, but I'm keeping it up anyways....
Thanks for all the good comments! lol
And TickledPink...
Do you have a comment on my haikus? |
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Y'know, I've heard that scientists have started using lawyers for tests instead of rats for two reasons. One, because the scientists got less attached to lawyers, and two, because there are some things that even rats won't do...
~Hook |
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mateeah3
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:31 am Post subject: |
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LOL I laughed on everyone single one too. Especially the doritos one.
Hahaha. You have a creative head.
~Mateeah |
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grimy89098
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:00 am Post subject: |
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awsome haiku's
a funny A+ 4 U! my friend lol
if laughter is the best medicine i bet none of your friends are ever sad lol
nice creativity |
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