Welcome back DoaV readers. Meet the antagonists!

Hiatus on chapter two: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post303383.html#303383

PART 1 - New version

The Sanctuary of Oun, home of the Masters, had been carved from stone of the mountain. It rested atop a plateau halfway up the mountain, the spire of the holy tower around which it was built reaching up to the unfettered sky. Inlaid upon the smooth stone tower were silver writings that were said to reflect the sun’s light during the holy hour and enlighten all who could look upon them and understand their wisdom. It was said that none who were worthy to read the writings would only see this spectacular display after their deaths—for during their life they were so devout they prayed through the whole hour…never once thinking to easily find enlightenment that could be earned through meditation.

Gean chuckled at the irony, the High Masters were surely an interesting bunch. Not that he had ever met any—it was only now that he carried an important message on behalf of the Kind himself did he find himself honored with the chance to enter the Inner Sanctum. And as it stood, he might not meet any of the High Masters at all. He was much more likely to simply be directed to one of the regular Masters. The Master of Oun thought very highly of themselves. Who wouldn’t, living atop a mountain that overlooked the entire realm, only being bothered when there was some problem too difficult for the realm’s normal defenders to handle?

Gaen’s continued to chuckle at these thoughts, not minding that the thick pines for which Oun Mountain was well known seemed to absorb the sound and give back only silence. It was a calm fall morning, though up on the mountain it was constantly winter. Luckily, Gean had a liking for cool weather.

Gaen’s horse began to prance, suddenly agitated. He looked around, searching for the cause of his horse’s distress, but nothing stood out to him.

“Now see here Percy, there’s nothing to be getting all agitated about,” he said sternly. “There’s no way that bear is going to show up on this mountain.”

But Percy ignored his master, stopping dead in his tracks. Though not quite as dead as Gean was a moment later when he fell from the saddle—a knife through his heart. His unseeing eyes bore witness as his body was moved from the mountain trail and buried in the forest. By the time the noon sun hit the spire of Oun, there were no traces to prove he had ever been there.

After all, the young woman with the stunning green eyes had paid the assassin handsomely to get the job done right.

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On different part of the mountain, some hours later, a grizzly man by the name of Leonald trudged tirelessly through the snows of Oun, His grim expression would have been attributed to two reasons—both of which had to do with him marching through the snow rather than take the direct trail to the sanctuary.

Perhaps the least relevant of these was his destination—or rather the people he would meet there. Leonald, much like the man who had sent him, had little love for the Masters of Oun. In the realm of Buwen, those who learned to master their aura were called ‘masters’, but in their neighboring country Sequesh those who mastered their did not conceal this true nature—there they answered to the name ‘Holy’.

The main church of a realm controlled who could and could not master their aura, assimilating any who came for training into the faith. Loenald had no problem with the church schooling those with power in moral conduct; he simply couldn’t stand people who tried to hide their true intentions under a fancy name. Leonald knew that within the sanctuary the Masters were known as Priests, and their students as acolytes.

Similarly, he had little patience for thieves who called themselves ‘businessmen’.

He stopped a moment, catching his breath. With no path, the ground was uneven and though the snow only reached half-way up to his ankle, it was hard work. Only the important of the message he carried kept him from cursing.

His message was the second reason, though it was not the message itself that made him so him. Over the last seven months the creature known as the Demon Bear had been wreaking havoc, leaving nine town massacred. It was no surprise to anyone the king would call for a priest, many only wondered at why he’d waited so long.

What darkened Leonald’s mood, though at the same time pushed him forward, was that he wasn’t the one the king had sent with the message. The same day General Jeren had approached him with this mission, the king had sent another man—Gaen—with the same message. Gaen was a good man, and a reliable messenger. However, the General had some doubts as to just how ‘random’ the demon’s attacks were. A military man, he saw in the bear’s behavior some glimmer of higher intelligence—intelligence he wansn’t going to let stop him from getting rid of the beast.

Not knowing where the bear went after it’s attacks, or even if the beast was a bear, the General had enlisted Leonard to take an un-traveled route to the Sanctuary, fearing that Gaen might fall prey to the bear if indeed it was intelligent enough to know to watch for a messenger. The very thought that this creature might have such a high intellect was a thought that weighed on Leonard like a cloak of lead. It would greatly please Leonald if Gaen arrived safely—they had shared enough drinks around a fire that Leonald knew he was a man of honor and good heart.

Sadly, Leonalf had a rare gift—the same gift that had helped hi to becoming a Lieutenant—and his gift told him that general Jeren was a man who was rarely wrong. Lornald could only hope his brother Sillon, currently an acolyte of the Sanctuary, would know of the message he bore—Leonald was no so reckless that he would assume he was safe from danger.

P1 Question: I think this is still and info dump, though I like it better than the original version. ( http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post301118.html#301118 ) But still, I'd love to hear your ideas on how I can make this bit better. Comments on the original version would be nice too, since I will be using the same scenes from it in the next parts (but hopefully they will be better >.<)

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This chapter starts off slowly, but it picks up in the second part. Meet Derrin the Paladin, Sillon the Seer and Priest Duncan. Their names are set, so if you have suggestions see the thread in Fiction Discussion and Tips.

The update schedule is the same as always, with one new rule: I will only be PMing people who have commended (and thus proven they are reading) when updates happen.

Ex: Everyone who comments on P1 gets an update when P2 arrives. I will assume people who haven't commented haven't read yet, so they don't need to know about the update (because they'll see P2 is up when they go to read P1). This isn't to be mean and force you to comment, it's just because I feel like I'm spamming the people I get no comments from (because for all I know they don't read).

*hugs!* Thanks to all my dedicated readers, you guys are a huge encouragement to me.

^_^ Keek!

Note: Just in case this pisses people off, I tend to make the changes to the main document and not here (because then I'd think I'd done it and not change the actual file), so if you notice you gave me advice and it's not done. It either is, but on the file, or it isn't but I have every intention of doing it when I do my complete review of the chapter (which happens when Keek decides to go back and 'fix' things)