Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Young Writers Society
News:  
The Top 25!

Favorite part of writing?
  Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
Railroad Crossing Photograph
Railroad Crossing Photograph
by BigBadBear in Art & Photography
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry

This thread was created on April 24, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic		 Digg It Del.icio.us


Missing You

Topic ID: 2537
 View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
LiNdSeYo7   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

56

Age: 20
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 122
Reviews: 56
Country: Toledo, Ohio
300 Points
PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:34 am    Post subject: Missing You Reply with quote 
You couldn’t possibly know,

How much you mean to me,

That I’d give everything I had,

For you to be set free,

That each and every day,

I miss you a little more,

I wish that time would go

Back to just a month before.

I want to see your face,

Or just to hear you speak,

I lost the only thing I loved,

My heart has grown so weak.

I’m fearing for the future,

Yearning for the past,

Missing you so very  much,

Praying this ends fast



*This is written by a VERY close friend and Ex who is now in jail.. Long story.. but just summing it up!<3 Lindsey

_________________
<3 Lindsey
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Ohio Impromptu   View This User's Portfolio
"The Bishop is a fool!"
Novelist

126
Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 18
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 350
Reviews: 126
Country: Australia. (sadly)
300 Points
PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hmmm...theres no denying there was a tonne of feeling behind it, but the way it was written kinda made me think of Dr. Suess. That doesnt necessarily mean its bad, its just written in a way that doesnt quite fit the feeling behind it. Smile

_________________
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
antigone   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

168
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 213
Reviews: 168
Country: Woof
300 Points
PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2005 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I liked it. I think the rhymes add a lot.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Liz   View This User's Portfolio
Novelist

321
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 493
Reviews: 321
Country: The land down under
300 Points
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Packed to the brim with cliches! Try to be more original.

_________________
purple sneakers
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
LiNdSeYo7   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

56

Age: 20
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 122
Reviews: 56
Country: Toledo, Ohio
300 Points
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2005 2:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Please don’t let me down again,

Don’t ever break my heart,

Now that you’re locked up in there,

My world has fallen apart.

You were what made me happy,

What put the smile on my face,

No one else could ever,

Attempt to take your place

Please don’t do this to yourself,

Let this time be the last,

Think only of your future,

Forget about the past.

You are smarter then you know,

More then what you see,

And if you need one reason,

To stay up, let it be me.

--

Written for the same person whom I now am very angry with but I figured I'd post that anyways.. <3

_________________
<3 Lindsey
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
AmairaRose   View This User's Portfolio
Novice

5
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 24 May 2005
Posts: 8
Reviews: 5
Country: In your head
300 Points
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I like the rhyming pattern. I can definatly sence the feeling behind the words, but if you put a little more imagery into this it could be better.

_________________
~Amaira
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address
Elizabeth   View This User's Portfolio
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple
Epic Novelist

1160
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 17
Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 1160
Country: If I told you I would have to kill you
300 Points
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I liked this. AmiriaRose cute cat!!! lol, i had to say that and lindsay are you from TYWC? I remember a lindsey. I really liked it and it was sweet.

_________________
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shii.php
Ralphie: Ahh! It's half wolf, half refrigerator!
“Eventually shooting stars will burn out.”
Help the Revolution: http://noporntube.freeforums.org/portal.php
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on April 24, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic		    Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on April 24, 2005

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come. - Homer Simpson
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society