Young Writers Society

Author's Note : The POV (point of view) changes each chapter. The prologue and first chapter are from Teeya's point of view. Then, the second chapter is Jake's point of view. And then it switches back and forth and so on.

Prologue:
Jake,
We shared crayons and blocks. We shared snacks and naps and secrets. We lived, laughed, and loved together. But, it's over now. We've grown apart, taken different roads. And all I had were regrets.

Young love. That's what it was. On and off relationships. We thought we knew what we were getting into, but we had no idea.

We knew eachother so well. Or, we thought we did. That one old, cliche' saying truly pertains to us. You know, it says something like : "It's not you, Jake, it's me!" Or something like that. Yeah, that's the one. I thought I screwed up really bad. But, it appears that unfortunately, life is written in felt-tip pen. All we need is some white out. Except, I don't think they make white out big enough to fix this one.

You had long-term dreams of marriage, kids, wealth, growing old together. While I had short-term goals, like passing ninth grade and not going insane due to my over-protective parents and messed up family. We were so different, but I guess that's what brought us together.

It was nothing new when people heard that we were "going out" (again) or that we were a couple (again). I think ninth grade is when I realized that I lost out on so much time-time that could have been spent on meeting new people and finding that one guy. I wasted that time on you.

Just to find out that you're gay!

You jerk!

And don't even think about calling me.
-Teeya

P.S. And no, my mom's not making your lunch anymore.


Chapter 1:
I walked into school, still angry at the world and all it's inhabitants. It's still so unbelievable to me that Jake was gay. I thought he was the straightest guy on Earth!

I arrive at my locker to see him leaning against it. "Boa!" I call for my friend, Boa, to remove Jake from my locker.

"Get outta' here gay boy. Don't make me remove you from this locker unwillingly!" Boa says. Jake sneers and walks away.

"Thanks, Boa," I say.

"You're welcome, Teeya. Anytime!" Boa walks away.

Boa and I have been friends since third grade. In fifth grade, I saved him from getting a referral. The teacher had accused him of pushing a boy, named Bruce, off of the jungle gym. The kid ;anded face first on the ground, but not before hitting his face on the jungle gym and losing seven teeth. I took the blame, because although Boa did it (he had a good reason to), he couldn't afford to get another referral. His dad would beat him to death.

I opened up my locker to find a note and a shirt sitting on top of my English Lit. binder.
The note read : Sweetie, pink and green stripes really aren't for you. Try a plain pink polo. Love ya'!
-Jakie

Jakie? Since when? [i]I never called him Jakie. Well, I tried once, but he said it was a wussy nickname. And what's with the shirt? Since when is he a fashionista?

I pick up the plain pink polo. He's right. (Unfortunately.) It's cute. Oh, yeah! Free polo! These are expensive, too. At least twelve dollars.

Wait! I'm supposed to be angry! Fuming! Just wait until he see's what's in his locker!

The bell rings just as I slam my locker shut. Great. Not only do I have a gay ex-boyfriend, but I'm late for English Lit, too. What's new? Might as well make the best out of it and drop off his present.

I sneak by each classroom, making sure that teachers don't see me. Then, I sneak over to the next hallway. I find his locker. 3313.

Ah! Locker combo, locker combo. I rack my brain for his locker combination. Finally, I remember it. 12-22-32. Easy enough. I tug on the lock and... bingo.

I quietly open up the locker and peer inside.

OMG!

His binders... are covered... in heart and flowers and girly stuff! Not to mention that his text books have those stretchy book covers on them that say things like: "You go girl!" or "Girls rule!"

I look past the signs of obvious gayness and carefully set down a book called How to Tell Your Mom You're Gay. I set it down on top of his girl infested text book, and slip the note that I wrote him inside.

I slam that locker door and re-attach the lock. There. Mission complete.

Hmm... do I want to skip English Lit and get yelled at and penalized for not going, or should I get yelled at and penalized for being late, and have to do work? Tough decision.

[Two mili-seconds later]

Yeah, I think I'll skip.

Chapter 2:

I walk out of English Lit and head to my locker.

3313. 3313. I repeat the numbers in my head for no apparent reason.

Okay, found it!

I do the combination thingy. 12-22-32.

And it opens with a clang. I peer inside, discovering that the contents of my locker have been disturbed. Nice.

Let's see what we have here. A book, I see. With a note attached. How sweet of the intruder.

I pick up the note, but before I read it, I suddenly wonder who this "intruder" is and why he/she left this book and note in my locker.

I read the title of the book. How to Tell Your Mom You're Gay. Nice choice in literature. Maybe this one will do the trick. I've bought so many books to help me come out with it and tell my mom I'm gay. Close, but no cigar.

I read the note now. Wow. So that's how she feels about me-about us-now. She hate's me... because I turned gay, after we broke up. Amazing. Simply amazing.

***********

I walk home, thinking about the note, the book, and Teeya.

Chapter 3:

I walk up the cobblestone steps to the front door of my house. I turn the door knob. Locked. I reach into my purse and pull out my key and open the door.

Ah, it's so quiet without everyone else here. Why can't it always be like this?

"I AM FREAKIN' AWESOME!" I scream.

"Conceited much?" a familiar voice answers.

"Mom?"

"Daughter?" she snidely replies.

"Okay, enough with the name game."

"You started it," Mom jokes kiddishly.

"Do you know how childish you sound right now?" I ask, slightly annoyed.

"No, Mommy. I don't. Why don't you demonstrate and lecture me? Jeez. Talk about annoying. You're more motherly than daughterly."

"Daughterly isn't even a word. And I can't say that it would hurt if I were the mother and you the daughter."

"Whatever." She turns away from me like a brat.

"See what I mean? Act your age!" I sigh and walk away.

************

"Mom, what would you do if your ex-boyfriend turned gay-after you broke up with him?" I randomly ask.

"Oh, so now, when you need to ask me advice, I'm the mom and you're the daughter. I see how it goes."

I pretend to cry. I'm a really good actress. That's why I'm in drama at school.

"Okay, what's your problem princess?" Mom asks empathetically, almost like the same exact thing has happened to her before.

I wipe the fake tears away and quickly turn around. "Well, Jake and I broke up. Actually, I broke up with him."

"For the... seventeenth time?" Mom interrupts.

I nod aggressively. "ANYWAY, after I broke up with him, the rumors started: 'He conveniently turned gay after Teeya broke up with him'. And: 'After Teeya broke up with him, he vowed to never date another girl again'."

I can't stand it. I sit and think for a minute. Neither of us speak. We just stare at each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking.

I can tell. She has no idea what to say. This is one thing that has happened to me that can't relate to at all.

"Sweetie, I don't know what to say..."

Told you.

"... Except that I'm here for you."

"Can I transfer schools?"

"But that, my dear, is not do-able. You know I do whatever I can to help you. But you're just going to have to take the blows like the strong woman that you're becoming. You will get through this-we will get through this.

Chapter 4:

I open my bedroom door and peer inside, making sure no one's in there. I see a small pile of clothes on my bed. New clothes-bought by Mom.

I pick up the shirt on top. Stripes. Nice. (I love the word nice.) It'll make me look lighter than I am.

Oh no. OH-NO.

She bought... crap colored Dickies. They're way too baggy and don't show off my figure. I'm going to strangle her (even though she doesn't know that I'm gay, she knows I hate baggy clothes).

"Jakie!" She calls me. Ugh!

"Mother?" I answer back. Maybe she'll hear the annoyance in my voice.

"Jakie, get some of your new clothes on and come down here."

"Why?"

"You have a dentist appointment at 3:30 and then we're meeting your dad and sister for dinner. So, hurry up!"

"Are you serious? You didn't even tell me. Whatever."

She apparently takes no notice to my annoyance, but kept urging me to get ready-insisting that we be there forty-five minutes early "incase any issues arise". Oi. Mothers.

I grab my wallet and cell phone and head for the stairs. I gracefully walk down holding on to the railing. I meet Mom at the bottom.

"Oh, honey! Those clothes look wonderful on you! The girls will be star-struck!" she croons.

"You think this looks good? This is horrible. These pants are way too baggy, and this shirt is like a giant blanket with holes cut out for the head and arms. And these shoes! They look like some cats ate food-poisoned tuna fish and threw up all over them!" I finish my complaint here.

"Jake, if I didn't know better, I'd say you've gone homosexual."

She's absolutely clueless, but let's try this again, just for kicks.

I clear my throat. "Actually Mom, I am-"

She looks over at the clock.

"Sorry, hon, but we have to go. We'll have plenty of time to chat later, at dinner."

"Yeah, okay." I start to laugh hysterically as I get into the car.

Mom gets into the car, puts her seat belt on, and sticks the key into the ignition.

"Do you have your seat belt on?" She turns to me to make sure.

"Yes..." I state, clearly pissed off now.

She begins to back out of the driveway and onto the empty street behind us. As she does so, she speaks to me. "You know Jake, I've noticed some tension and annoyance and frustration in your voice lately. Is there something wrong? Something you want to talk about?" She pushes me until I break.

"Mom," I begin. "Yes, there is one thing that I would like to inform you of."

She gets all giddy and excited. "Ooh! Yay! Wait, wait! Let me guess first! Is it..." She giggles. "... a GIRL?"

I stare at her calmly for a moment, before I answer that question. "No."

"Puberty?" Second guess. Three strikes and you're out.

"Nope," I answer.

"School?" Third strike. Youuuurrrrrrr out!

_______________________________________________________________________


Okay, I am (apparently) not done with this, at all. And I just figured out the title for it after about one and a half to two months of writing it, so that's good. I really need some feedback guys, so please help me out. No matter how horrid you think this is, I need to know the truth. Don't go easy on me. If you like the idea of it, but you just don't like how I've laid it out, tell me and I'll work on it. As potential customers of this book (some day), I need your feedback, for you are my... editors/friends/potential customers/only hope! Thanks everyone!

MONKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

We shared snacks and naps and secrets and our first kiss. We lived, laughed, and loved together.

?? If he's gay, why did he kiss her?

But, it appears that unfortunately, life is written in felt-tip pen. All we need is some white out. Except, I don't think they make white out big enough to fix this one.

This analogy is a bit muddled.

You had long-term dreams of marriage, kids, wealth, growing old together.

Again, why would he want to be with her if he's gay...?

Hm. I think it's good. Really shows the anger/annoyance, but I think it can be better. Maybe a flashback, i.e. "I remember my favorite... wait, no, off topic," etc. Think about how you would feel during this/how you felt.



*Seraph*

^_^

This is quite good. Since it's journal style, I have no complaints grammar wise, I didn't notice anything to correct. =P Sorry!

Plot wise, it's great. It's a little short, but it captures the sentiments of frustration and betrayal. I guess we'll have to wait until later chapters to find out how long he'd known he was gay, how she found out and other such questions we have.

I liked it. ^_^ Nice story.

^_^ Keek!

Seraph!!!! I missed you! We haven't talked in... forever! Well, he kissed her, because when you're that young, you obviously don't know what "gay" means. It wasn't until ninth grade when he found out he was gay (and this wasn't until after she broke up with him). So, that should probably answer your question about why he was with her, also. He magically turned gay I guess (haven't really figured out how yet) and he decided to tell her just to get back at her for breaking up with him. So, now she's highly pissed off at him. Lol. Confusing. Still need to work out the kinks.

Thanks Valor! I'm so happy that you couldn't find any mistakes. I thought I made tons. Thanks for posting though. And, I actually think it's more letter-format than journal-format... You see, at the beginning of chapter one, she's trying to sneak the letter/note into his locker. I haven't posted chapter one yet, but I'm going to soon.

Hey, Monki!

It is so unbelievably cool that you get to write a novel for class. ^_^ Hopefully, you'll send us some tips you pick up along the way?

Anyway, the letter style is a little different, but it's cool because it's personal and direct and easy to read. It's easy to get into, actually, which is always nice. There are a few things that I would like to ramble about, just to make it even more fabulous.

YOUR RIGHTS VERSUS MINE

I was talking about this very thing with someone else recently--one of the most difficult things about writing in first person (especially a first person romance) is making sure that your readers care about the person. In third person, you can escape from them a little, and you don't necessarily have to hear their voice every waking moment. But in first person, you really need to make us love your main character.

In a story like this, it's mainly justifying herself against her ex-boyfriend--and mainly railing on him directly. However, this makes him the focus and not her. In real life, her argument would be like this. But in a fictional introduction, you're going to have to be a little sneakier.

I don't know if you had as lame a health class as I did, but when we got to the chapter dealing with Anger Management, we learned to express our angry feelings with "I-messages". That's basically so that you make sure your grievances are aired as problems that you have with other peoples' actions, and keeps people from getting defensive. Of course, in real life, it's questionable, but in your story, it will work well.

"I feel angry." "I feel sad." How can you convey these feelings so that it's just not a long tirade against a boy? That way, we'll know just as much--if not more--about the protagonist as about the person who hurt her.

HONEY, YOU LIKE BOYS

The main problem I had with your narrator's problem is that if you're kissing--that is, having a sexuality or having an idea of what sexuality is--you probably are in touch with your orientation, whether you're trying to hide it or not.

Point is: whether you admit you're gay or not, you know from a pretty early age. One of my friends said it was age eight, or something like that. Early. So, why is she the one not caring, and he's the one eagerly talking of marriage? The kissing is fine, as some people try being straight first. But his psychology doesn't make any sense, especially in an age somewhat before everyone is freaking out about who's gay and who's not.

You're going to need to figure out what he's thinking, and how it affects her--at this point, it's the biggest conflict in the story. ^_~

__

Good luck, Monki! PM me if you have any questions or have a new part up.

Wow. Thanks Sam! I'll definitely post tips from the experiences I have with this assignment once it's all over with and done. Right now it's a bit crazy due to this assignment... Or, maybe I'll just post them along the way. Don't know, but it'll come to me.

Lol. You don't have to tell me about health class. I know. *sighs as if annoyed* I hated the anger management chapter. It was so stupid. I sat there thinking Can't she just divide the class up into the good kids and the bad kids? Kids like me don't need to hear this crap... But, unfortunately, they also think of the bad kids' feelings, even though it shouldn't matter what they feel... Anyway, I'll keep this in mind when I'm editing.

See, the kiss is the tricky part... I think I'll just take out 'our first kiss'. I wouldn't have any of the problems I'm having now with this if I just edited it out. Thank you for the thought though.

Wow. I have never heard of people knowing about their 'sexual orientation' as young as eight (or even younger). But, it's true that a lot of people try to be straight first because it's 'normal'. I guess in Jake's case, he tried being straight first, but one day, it just hit him that he was gay, because girls didn't really 'interest him'. I don't know how to put it. That probably sounded stupid or wrong, but, basically, he just found out that he likes guys better than girls.

Wow... This is a great begining. The letter style opening isn't something I've often coe across, but you handle it wonderfully. Your style of writing is good, but I wish we could find out a bit more about what's going on between these two.

Well, your sexual orientation at that age usually isn't a conscious thing, because, well.... you know. *Seraph's sheepish grin*

Hm. I'm not sure you should use that. I mean, Im currently not interested guys, but I'm not lesbian.

It also sounds like "I think I'll be gay today." Sort of like "I think I'll become an alcoholic today." Do you see what I mean?

Instead of making him "magically gay," I would say that making him confusded about it, or experiment with a girl [not in a dirty way], patch up relationship, etc. Maybe he was going to tell her right before she broke up with him...?

The other thing... He saying that he's gay sounds like a revenge thing. I mean, where's the evidence? Did she catch him making out with some guy...? If he only says it, right after they break up... personally, I would thing that is a load of bull poo. That whole "he wants me to feel bad for him and take him back" or "haha I didn't need you anyway" thing.

Do you see what I mean? :D



*Seraph*

haha, wow. That was...funny.omigah, he's GAY?!
this is one of those laugh till you cry kind of love stories/mistakes. i LOVE it!!!

Haha. Thanks sweeney_todd! Yep, he's gay.

I don't think the characters are mature enough to pull off this story line, i mean, how old are they?

Ninth grade is like 14, 15 year old right? At that age, sexuality is confusing, and i doubt a 14/15 year old would come out of the closet that early. He'd be too scared.[spoiler] Unless of course he's just making it up to get back at her for dumping him.[/spoiler]

It's a little unrealistic is all i'm saying, however, it's your story, write it how you will.

Also, i don't know if this is intentional, but through the letter the protagonist kinda sounds like someone reminiscing about their one true love or something, but then toward the end it gets really childish. I really don't know what to make of this, it's amusing, but also it kinda throws me off.

Anyway, good luck with this, i wish i could just write a novel for my class instead of having to do all that damn analyzing -sigh-.

Well, with the first kiss, he could have been trying to be normal. He could have realized that he was being attracted to boys, but was confused why and so was trying to deny it. Or he knew he was gay and was hoping that it wasn't true or something.

Hey, it's happened. There are homosexuals in heterosexual marriages. They tried to deny their orientation and hoped that getting married "correctly" might solve the "problem."

This was sad. And funny. And... I dunno. I liked it though.

Aww, Teeya is really bitter. Poor thing. I just want to give her a big hug and explain to her that it is not his fault. *pats*

Great job. I liked the journal format. But I will echo an earlier question: just how old are these two?

~GryphonFledgling

There are two very conflicting styles of writing in this letter. First, there's the reminiscent feeling of "we shared crayons and blocks" and "young love. That's what it was" etc., all seeming very sentimental. And then at the end, there's almost a temper tantrum of "You jerk!" and the part about the mother not making lunch for him anymore.

The other reason for the two styles is in who they are addressed to. The more "sentimental" part reads like a general prologue that could be said to anyone, an anonymous "you". But the last few angry lines are certainly addressed to Jake. This change is startling. They jar you out of the faceless reminiscence and into a real scene.

I think here, you could make more of this anger throughout the letter, make it more concrete like the postscript (quick formatting note: P.S. will go after the signature fo Teeya, and when there are two, the first will be P.S. and the second will be P.S.S. or P.P.S. Can't remember which). The first part is a general summary, so I was tempted to skim a bit of it. But then the last part is something you can say "this is happening now! I don't want to miss what she's saying!" There's a style and a voice there for Teeya that makes it something only Teeya could say. And that's where your characters come alive!

Hiya there! This is good, very very good!

'We shared crayons and blocks. We shared snacks and naps and secrets. We lived, laughed, and loved together. But, it's over now. We've grown apart, taken different roads. And all I had were regrets.'

I lvoed this first paragraph, it captured my attetnion and I instantly realised what type of fiction this was... young love!

This is a very good piece. Based on your life? Wow, that must hurt to find out that your puppy love friend is gay!

Lol the ending was very funny. Clever start, cleaver ending! What is there to say? I really liked this!

Keep writing!

~D'Aedomir~

Thanks everyone.

To answer the age question and stuff like that, they are in ninth grade and I guess the age ranges from 14-15 (not so sure yet). But, what I do know is this : I know at least seven kids at my school who decided they were gay (or bi, or whatever) when they were twelve or thirteen. I guess it just takes some people longer than others.

About the format. It's letter format (I think)... And she acts like she's reminscing (sp?) throughout the first part of the letter because he doesn't exactly know how mad she is at him. So towards the end she shows how mad she is. (And obviously she's going to be bitter about it (who wouldn't be bitter about finding out they went out with a gay guy for like... a decade?).