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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
by oboemagic_1414 in Action/Adventure Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on January 26, 2008
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Aedomir   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks everyone!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Finally we have some rest sort of, except action should be not be in. Plus Deus Ex Machina again, you're terrible for it. In real life things don't happen for convenience like that. I'm sorry I keep repeating myself, but really. having something suddenly like that, is pointless, just seems to people you're wanting action, action and action. That's my main complaint. I wasn't expecting the shock of him in the future or is he. I never understood that. Try putting in less deus ex machina. It's good, but please stop with the ya know.

Good luck
VSN.

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This thread was created on January 26, 2008

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