This is not meant to be realistic, nor is it meant to be taken seriously (I'd be insulted if you did). This is also just one whole scene, but a long one. There's also a lot more direction, so...try to picture it.

(Please)

Okay. Let's do this.

____________________________________

Scene V: School Parking Lot

B: (seeing something in the back of her truck) What? (steps out and checks the tires) Oh.

(a few yards away, at the same time. EDWARD, EMMETT, and J are talking near his car, as A and R are leaning against his car, staring off into space)

EMMETT: Hey, look, it's your girlfriend! (laughs with J)

EDWARD: Shut up.

EMMETT: Come on, go tell her you want to suck her blood AND her--

EDWARD: (reddening) Shut. Up.

(EMMETT and J laugh uncontrollably. Suddenly, EMMETT snatches EDWARD's keys)

EMMETT: Go on! It's possible.

J: Yeah, love conquers all!

(both laugh some more as EDWARD tries to get his keys back. J and EMMETT play Monkey-in-the-Middle with his keys. TYLER CROWLEY arrives, and begins to swerve)

EMMETT: (not noticing) Catch! (throws, coincidentally, in the direction of B. Keys land right behind her)

EDWARD: (squealing) No!

(yards back)

B: (looking up at the car, seeing EDWARD's horrified face and not realizing it's for his keys) Oh sh---

EDWARD: (speeding over to his keys, suddenly behind B) Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap...(sees them and picks them up, suddenly sees the van coming his way) AHHHHHHHH!

(As B tries to shield herself with her arms, EDWARD finally realizes she's right in front of him and tries to use her as a shield, forgetting his high strength, but his hands slip, causing him to push the van forward)

EDWARD: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap (looking for his keys, which have fallen again, and lifts the van in his search)

B: (after being knocked down, rubs her head) Ow, what happened? Hey! What are you doing here? (as EDWARD lifts her and finds his keys. While she looks away, he kisses his keys, and notices her)

EDWARD: Oh, hey.

B: (in disbelief) Hi. How did you---?

EDWARD:Wow. He needs to learn how to drive.

B: It's from the ice. It's hard to drive in the ice.

Unknown voice: Hold on! We'll get you right out!

EDWARD: You drove fine.

B: That's because of my--never mind. How did you get here so fast?

EDWARD: (looks blank, since he actually forgot) I..uh...I've been here the whole time.

B: No you weren't. You were playing that---

EDWARD: (getting serious) I've been here the whole time.

(paramedics get them out. EDWARD, who hates stretchers, declines his. C, who was across the street at a diner, walks to them)

C: (sees B) Oh, it's you. What were you, drunk or something?

B: (rubbing her head) No.

C: Oh. Then, why'd they call me here?

Paramedic: Well, she's your daughter. Don't you want to join her?

C: (looks blank) Yeah...you see, I was sort of, in the middle of my breakfast, so...Could I catch up with you? Say...ten minutes?

Paramedic: Sir, your daughter and this gentleman were very lucky to have come out the way they did. She was centimeters from death.

C: Hmmm. Yeah...whatever. I'll catch up with you guys. (gives B a pat on the back)

EDWARD: (recognizing him) Oh, hi! This is yours, right? (gives C his gun back)

C: Hey, thanks! See, Bella? He's cool. (gives him a high-five)

B: (open-mouthed) He stole your gun, aren't you going to do something?

C: (laughing) Do something? Like what? (mock-points his gun at EDWARD, who mock-panics) Freeze! You stole my gun! You might as well have raped my dog! Freeze before I make your stupid ass look like a Dalmation's, you pale son of a bitch! (laughs loudly with EDWARD as he puts his gun away)

EDWARD: oh, sorry about it being empty. My brothers were pissing me off and---

C: (waves it off) Eh. We'll discuss that manure later. Eh. (chuckles as he pats EDWARD's shoulder amiably) Good kid. Tell your parents they're doing a fine job.

EDWARD: (mock salutes) Sure will!

C: (still chuckling) Eh-heh...I'll see you guys soon. (walks back)

B: (watching her father return to the diner as they put her in the ambulance) That's so unf---

EDWARD: (laughing with the paramedics) Let's roll! Hold on, Bella!

___________________________________

I make reference to Mr. Stephen T. Colbert on the baby carrots contribution. The man can be quite a character. But no worries. It's as Sleeping V typed: baby carrots is out.

Small (but Significant) Note:

B= Bella

J=Jasper

R=Rosalie

A=Alice

C=Charlie