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This thread was created on April 12, 2005
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Rain Day Dreams
Topic ID: 2363
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Chanson
the milky bars are on me Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 03 Mar 2005 Posts: 304 Reviews: 82 Country: dublin, ireland 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:11 pm Post subject: Rain Day Dreams |
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slow days inch along
toward the lazy hazy tumbling days
of summer
stare out the window
at rain hitting the stones
and race the raindrops as they rush
towards the windowsill.
engraving names on the woodwork
my hands are stained with blue ink
that leaves marks on everything i touch
the sound of the teacher's voice-
like syrup snaking through gravel-
lulls me into a gentle trance
where my three failing grades are forgotten
and my three half-finished projects
are just vague memories.
close my eyes
i can taste
blackberries soaking my tongues
ice cream flooding the soft pink concaves
of my mouth and sinking my teeth into
sugary sweet strawberries.
the smell of peaches and violets
drapes itself across the summer air
and the sound of ice-cream vans
and children crying in a sandpit,
of water splashing on tiles,
floods the ears like a carefully planned
symphony.
hot sun beats it brown-red trademark
across my bare back
and the heat is all embracing
all consuming
then, just when it is almost unbearable
a breeze slithers through my hair
glides across my skin.
one of those days that sink into the soul
and becomes one of the memories that make youth
one long summer afternoon of
dreams.
open my eyes
a page of notes sprawls across the blackboard
someone is whispering a story in my right ear
the ink has dyed my white t-shirt
a summer sky blue.
and there is nothing left to do
but close my eyes again
and taste the summer dreams. |
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Caligula's Launderette
the extemp queen Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 21 Joined: 13 Apr 2005 Posts: 2328 Reviews: 498 Country: how should I know, I don't even know where my socks are half the time? 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:28 am Post subject: |
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. It holds so much great imagery. Bravo! reminds me of me...which I think is a good thing. Couldn't think of much more than a great job but if I do I'll send you a line. Keep up writing.
Peace
CL  |
_________________ Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
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QiGuaiGongFu
Elected Representative of Small, Furry creatures Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 24 Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 2736 Reviews: 67
300 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:21 am Post subject: |
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| I rather enjoyed this, nice use of imagery. |
_________________ For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken
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~Baske in the randomness~ |
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| This thread was created on April 12, 2005 |
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