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Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry

This thread was created on December 15, 2007
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I Am poetry Goto page 1, 2  Next
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my_wonderwall   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 3:32 am    Post subject: I Am poetry Reply with quote

alrighty so here's the deal. i am about to make up my own "I Am" poem and you can also do the same when you leave comments. you just have to copy and paste and all of that. this was a type of poem that we did in my creative writing class. so have funnwith it. you can be honest or silly. thats up to you. okay here it goes.



your name: just call me ... A



i am: imaginative and hopeful

i wonder: how often you think about me

i hear: your voice  

i see: your name

i want: you*

i am: imaginative and hopeful (first line repeated)



i pretend: to be young again with no worries

i feel: crazy around you

i touch: your heart

i worry: that you might reject me..again

i cry: when i think of you with someone other than me

i am: imaginative and hopeful (first line repeated)



i understand: that you need your time or that you used to

i say: why not take a chance

i dream: that some great day i will be happily with you

i try: to tell you but i gets harder everyday

i hope: that it all works out in the end

i am: imaginative and hopeful (first line repeated)



*this person's name shall remain anonymous.



okay now it's your turn. ..

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Last edited by my_wonderwall on Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:13 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(This looks like fun)

your name: (unknown)

i am: creative and bright
i wonder: what tomorrow will be like
i hear: music everywhere
i see: a world dancing
i want: to live and dream
i am: creative and bright

i pretend: everything
i feel: whatever my heart tells me to
i touch: anything new
i worry: that people might see straight through me
i cry: when i can't dream
i am: creative and bright

i understand: more than i say
i say: less than i mean
i dream: all the time
i try: my best to make things work
i hope: to always stay the same
i am: creative and bright

(Very thought inducing. I liked that)
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey good job. i like it.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is almost like a writing activity, isn't it? Oh well, I'll critique the poem anyway.

This style of poetry is... wow. Honestly, it should be killed and never allowed to come alive again, haha. Poetry, at least, readable-sharable poetry, is something that focuses a lot more on the reader than on the writer. You want to make the reader feel, think, realize something, and you want to avoid talking about you, you, you. That is called navel gazing, and no one wants to hear you talk about yourself. We want to learn about ourself through your words. Which is why a poem in this style fails so badly... It's a selfish style of poetry, haha, and leaves no room for your reader whatsoever.

My only other issue with it is the fact that you never capitalize the pronoun I. Please respect grammar?

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am: sick of navel-gazing, cliche, angsty poems.

Oh, dear, I do agree with Suzie. Navel-gazing makes lovely journal entries, not poetry. It's okay to write a poem about something that happened to you, but it's just not okay to write the whole poem about yourself. What happened to us readers, eh? Don't care about us? Fine. If that's the way it is, we'll leave.

-Colleen

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thatnks for your input but it was just something mainly for fun. I did not mean for this to seem like navel gazing and I am sorry if it seems that way. I wrote this poem as I typed it. But like I said, it was just something for fun. You should try it.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this belongs in writing activities, not here.

Anyway, in defense of my_wonderwall, I'm wondering if this was a school assignment? I had to do something similar, only I had to start every poem with "I am ..." If it's a school assignment, I think that you did well within what I assume are the boundaries of the assignment. If it's for yourself ... er, try to be a little more creative next time? (I seem to remember finding this outline while Googleing examples of "I am ..." poems for my own assignment.)

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i saw it as a writing activity. i thought it looked fun. *shrug* so i'm going to try it! Very Happy


i am: myself
i wonder: when I will get it
i hear: my own voice
i see: the sunrise
i want: to live again
i am: myself

i pretend: to have it together
i feel: very lost sometimes
i touch: freedom
i worry: that i'm forgetting something
i cry: because i don't feel good enough, but
i am: myself

i understand: how to let go
i say: that it doesn't matter
i dream: of not caring
i try: to surrender
i hope: live again
i am: myself

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well we did have a school assignment for a "who am i?" poem but my teacher just gave us this outline as an example and i just filled the outline out on here. i didnt realize there was a writing assignments section but then again i am pretty new to this site and am just figuring things out alittle bit. i would have been more creative had i written it out before typing. oh well. maybe next time. thanks for trying it lyrical sunshine.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This looks cool...hmmm...*thinks hard*...got it!

my name: Is anything you want it to be...

i am: An almost ordinary girl...
i wonder: Why...
i hear: The whisper of magic...
i see: Everything I need to...
i want: To contact my magical sisters...
i am: An almost ordinary girl...

i pretend: To see things normal people do...
i feel: For the shrinking forests...
i touch: Anyone who are willing to belive...
i worry: That my faery friends will dissapear...
i cry: For nature...
i am: An almost ordinary girl...

i understand: Everything magical...
i say: They are gardians of nature...
i dream: Of dragons and knights in shining armor...
i try: To see all, hear all, know all...
i hope: To see a different world...
i am: An almost ordinary girl...

That's cool...



Star

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This looks awesome! Very Happy

I am: Whoever I want to be
I wonder: About rain and fire
I hear: The sound of a thousand sufferings
I see: The trees outside my window
I want: So many things
I am: Whoever I want to be
I pretend: That I am a pirate
I feel: A vast sea of emotion
I touch: The rain-wet boughs of a willow tree
I worry: That one day I will be old
I cry: When I am angry at the world
I am: Whoever I want to be

I understand: That 1+1=2
I say: A river of words
I dream: Of flying on scarlet wings
I try: Not to fail Math class
I hope: That I will be young forever
I am: Whoever I want to be

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am: a writer and an artist.
I wonder: where my next idea will come from.
I hear: songs in my head.
I see: a thousand possibilities.
I want: to break out into the real world.
I am: a writer and an artist.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow.. more replies...
shooting star i enjoyed yours, you sound like a dreamer....like me. Ayra, this made my night. 1+1 does indeed =2, you are right about that so maybe you won't fail math after all and you are whoever you want to be. Kyte yours was short but it gets the point across. Keep writing =)
Thanks for the replies!

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my name: whatever you want to call me, babe

i am: a whore
i wonder: why they call me that
i see: my cat, asleep, soft breathing
i want: just one more, just another, please
i am: a mother

i understand: why they call me that
i say: that they still don't know what it means
i dream: of things I never remember
i try: to remember, and fail, and shrug
i hope: it will be warm enough outside for a walk today
i am: a child

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pheobe i like how your poem went through stages of being a whore then a mother then a child. Thanks for trying it out!

ya know, you can learn alittle bit about people in these poems.

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