Sorry it's taken so long.

Swearing towards the end.

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Lyla. Part 13.

I kept my head down as I hurried into the warm, coffee scented air that was ‘Easy Beanz’. I was terrified that people from school would be lurking in the booths, sipping milkshakes and gossiping. But the place was deserted. Not wanting to take any chances, I made a beeline straight to the counter and climbed onto a stool with a lot more difficulty than I had ever imagined possible. A waitress smiled at me from the coffee machine.

“You here to see M, right?” Her dark eyes glittered and her shiny hair fell down her back in a long pony tail. I recognised her as one of the newer members of staff, one of three who were recruited for the summer.

“If he’s not too busy,” I said.

“Nah, I think he’s on his break.”

She handed the coffee to another new, young boy who delivered it to a table with an apologetic look on his face.

“Lyla?”

M had changed in the two months since I had last seen him. His hair was longer and spiked up, his shoulders broader. He had a little goatee growing on his chin and he seemed to have grown into his face. I suddenly felt very young when looking at him.

“Hey M,” I said happily as he walked round the counter smiling. He helped me off my stool and stood looking me up and down. He shook his head and then gave me a quick, unexpected hug.

“You look flippin’ amazin’.”

He was still goggling at me as we walked over to a table near the back.

“You’ve changed too,” I said. “You hair looks much better.”

M fingered a few of his gelled spikes. “Thanks. Times moving on now. Only three weeks left of this job and I’m outta here. Off to Uni, living on my own, fending for myself.” He tidied the sugar sachets on the table. “I can’t believe how big you are now. What are you- five months?”

I placed a hand on my bump, almost protecting it from the world around me. “Yep, not long to go.” The familiar weight that I was carrying lately seemed even worse. I knew there wasn’t long to go, I had just said it, yet I was still clinging on to some sort of hope that time would reverse itself. That I would wake up, put on my school uniform and that none of it had happened.

“You’re scared?”

“Terrified. It’s going to be so hard. I feel like I’m not in the slightest bit prepared.”

M nodded understandingly.

“Don’t get me wrong- I’m excited as well. I can’t wait to finally see the little thing that’s been growing inside me all this time.”

“I wish I was around when the little one is born. I’m not even gonna get to meet the kid.” M looked down at his long thin fingers. He seemed genuinely upset. I couldn’t help but think again about how little we knew each other and yet how close I felt to him. Was this the relationship I was meant to be having with Tom?

“Fancy a drink? On the house of course,” M asked.

“Erm…” I glanced out the big windows at the front that showed the high street. Mum wasn’t waiting out there yet but I knew she would be soon. “Rain check? I’m here with my mum and I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

“Sure. Hey, maybe you can come in another time? With Tom as well.”

I nodded without really thinking. I didn’t want to leave the familiar comfort of the warm café. I started to wonder if I’d be able to do something as normal as come to Easy Beanz with a baby.

M suddenly started to laugh.

“Huh?”

“I was talking to you but you were away with the fairies!”

“Oh, sorry M. What were you saying?”

M took my hand across from the table. I simply stared. “Don’t worry, Lyla. I have to get back to work but I really want you and Tom to come and see me before I leave for uni. Stop worrying and remember that me ‘n’ your parents are ‘ere for you.”

I stood up with M, we hugged once again and I fixed my top so that it wasn’t revealing my belly.

“See ya, M.”

I waved goodbye and hurried to the door, not looking back.

I didn’t look back. I knew that if I did I’d run straight back down the road and I’d never get the courage again. I was swallowing rapidly, trying to keep last night’s dinner down. Sarah had been right. I needed to tell Tom. This was his mess too. I wasn’t completely alone in this.

I turned the corner.

Tom was still half asleep by the looks of it. His clothes had been obviously flung on and he had his coat zipped up to his chin. He had the same weary look on his face as he has when he walks through the gates at school.

“What’s wrong? You sounded hysterical on the phone.”

I sat down on the cold bench thinking that I’d be able to feel calmer if I sat still for a moment. It only made me more nervous.

“Lyla, have you been crying? What’s going on?”

I flopped my head forward, my hair covering my face .I felt so detached all of a sudden. I didn’t cry, didn’t even moan. I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands, seeing if I could still feel pain or if I had gone numb. I could feel the imprint that I knew I had left in my pale palms. I wasn’t completely numb yet.

I croaked out a few words, my voice a stranger to me.

“Tom, I’m pregnant.”

Tom was silent for a few seconds. I think he was seeing if I was lying or joking. I didn’t move. I didn’t look, I didn’t need to.

“Shit. Shit, Lyla.” Thump. He was kicking the bench; I could feel it moving under me. “Argh!”

I flinched.

“Tom, how..?”

I felt him sit down beside me, so I finally sat up straight, my arm resting against his.

“I used a condom. It wasn’t a fake or anything. I checked that it had all the right symbols on it. Shit.”

I started to sob again, not feeling like I had any control over my body. “Tom, what the hell am I meant to do? What am I supposed to do?”

He stood up again and came down to my level, so his face was close to mine. He gently put his finger under my chin and lifted my head up, wiping away my tears with his thumb.

“We’ll think of something, Lyla. Just tell me that you’re sure. You took a test?”

I nodded; gasping for breath and feeling it catch in my throat. “It turned blue. I’m pregnant.”

Tom walked off towards the park exit. I cried out as he turned the corner that I had taken just minutes ago, but he didn’t look back.