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Jamie_rocks
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 Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:37 am Post subject: |
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Hmmmmm, I'd say 9/10. I like the plot, but werewolves is a little unoriginal. I think you should come up with something different to be plaguing the humans. But that might just be me, and other than that, very good idea.
Yes, I'm back. Okay, I just started outlining this, so it probably isn't that good, I just wanted an opinion. Sorry, it's kind of long.
This man was seven years old in 1828. His crazy father had murdered the younger sister of these three men. He pleaded insanity and was sent to a mental institute, which he lived out the remainder of his life in. The men didn't believe he was punished enough, and decided to go after the one thing that would really hurt him, his son. A wizard knew that the man were plotting to kill the boy, and felt bad. He made this pendant, seemingly unknowing to the three men. As long as the pendant wasn't destroyed, the man could not die. It also drastically slowed down aging, so in 2008 the man is only 26 years old. The man does not know how, but the brothers have followed him through the years, and they know all about his pendant and how to destroy it. In an attempt to save himself, the man goes on a journey from the streets of New York to the oceans of Hawaii to the deserts of Australia, but when he finally finds his old house, he finds that centuries ago, the brothers tracked down the wizard, tortured all the information out of him, forced him to make them all pendants, then killed him. The only hope for the man is a letter written from the wizard's long lost daughter. In order to save his life, he must go on a wild goose chase in a race against time. He has to hope that this daughter is alive, knows how to destroy the brothers' pendants (all the pendants created have a different ritual to destroy them), and isn't just a ploy to lead the man into a trap.
Also, I don't know whether I should start with him in '08 and gradually explained what happened so the readers don't really know his childhood events or that he is immortal, or have his childhood as a prologue or something. Thnanks for the time. |
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LoveableLittleSock
Somebody who has an irrevocable hate for commas
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: |
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It's.. well, 6 outta 10. Because one, I'm not so fond of fantasy, and it's nonsensical. They only want to kill the man to get back at the guy who murdered their sister. That guy is obviously dead, because it was 190 years ago, so why are they sill trying to kill him? And the pendants are just a fill-in to make the story move along and practical. I do like the time change though - the 19th century to the 21st. Pretty cool.
Okay, for my first project, I want to do something easy: chick lit. It's not EASY, per se, but you know, it will get me started. It's about 19-year-old Mirabelle moving into the city to pursue a career in radio with her 11th grade boyfriend, Michael. They become the love doctors "Mike and Mira," and are on their way to becoming major radio personalities...
...until Mira catches Michael cheating on her with the radio producer. They inevitably break up, resulting in the show failing and both of them losing their jobs. Mira is forced to move out of her apartment because she can't afford it, and has to move in with her schoolmate, Laura. Trying to get back on her feet, Mira discovers that radio is the one thing that she's really good at. She gets another job at a radio station and works there for a while before convincing the producer that she can handle her own show.
When Michael doesn't appreciate the competition, for he has his own show too, he mercilessly attacks her over the air. Her first career in jeopardy, Mira is attempting to juggle work and her personal life and panicking on top of everything - but she's determined to show the world she can prevail.. but can she? |
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Jay
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: |
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Well, I'd give it a 7 out of 10 because I like the drama element and it has potential for a pretty funny radio battle between Michael and Mira. That could be cool. A lot of it could depend on Mira's characterisation and personality-it could really work well if she's a feisty, assertive go-getter but less so if she's more passive and sensitive. I'm not that keen on chick lit, but that's more of a personal thing.
Can I also say I want Jamie_rocks's imagination?
Here we go...
It's a 21st-century setting with a fantasy twist and it's set on a country called Ellophene. There's TV, computers, video games and cell phones, but there's also wizards, dwarves, elves and gods. There are often hybrids-one character is one-eighth angel and half dwarf.
Ellophene is ruled by the monarchy, and Kemsyt Leviticus is the heir to the throne. He will be taking over now because his father is ending his term (You only reign for twenty years, then it's the next person's turn).
Unfortunately, Alberic (a wizard) also wants to be King-so he can rid Ellophene of the "mundane"-people with no magical ability. This is pretty uh-oh, because Kemsyt's mundane, as is his father. In fact, quite a few people are mundane, and they're all depending on Kemsyt. |
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Jamie_rocks
Senior Writer
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Joined: 27 Apr 2008
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Country: America
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| Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, I'd give it a 9/10. I love the whole mix between fantasy and technology. It also sounds like a very interesting plot; the only reason it's not a full ten is because I've watched or read a lot of things with someone trying to steal the throne from the heir. However, as I said, the modern twist originalizes it. I would definitely read it if the blurb was good.
Okay, here's one I've sort of been developing for a while, though I'm not sure how original it is.
Renae and Khrystal are best friends, and practically twins. Renae's father is rich, so they have this huge house. One night while her father is out of town, Khrystal spends the night at Renae's house. Unfortunately for Renae, there's ransom hunters after her, but through a mix up of bedrooms, they grab Khrystal instead. After they realize their mistake, and that Khrystal has seen their faces, they decide it's best to kill her before returning for Renae. To prevent being followed, they sneak her into Canada, but after around four days of running, and a bad winter storm, Khrystal ends up stranded in Alaska's wilderness. As if that wasn't enough, a group of the ransom hunters are looking for her, and she's heard plans for the rest of them to go back and snag Renae. Now the head cheerleader of Thomson High School has to fight her way through miles of untamed Alaskan wilderness, find help, and back to Washington in time to warn Renae.
This will actually continue into a second novel, the idea for which I'll put up is this one gets a good rating. |
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ProfessorRabbit
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| Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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5/10. It seems kind of elaborate to sneak her into Canada just to kill her; hell, if she's the girl's best friend, "practically twins," they might even be able to get her family to pay a ransom for both of them. How the heck does she get away into the Alaskan wilderness, anyway? A pampered cheerleader would probably die.  I'd also change the spelling of Khrystal's name. It seems a little forced.
(( Of course, I work at the department of Vital Statistics, so I've seen the depraved names people actually give their real-life children. Khrystal is pretty tame. ))
My idea:
Denial Becomes You
A young girl, Gracie, with a screwed-up family life ( part of a previous work ) has finally won free of her past and is just trying to live a normal life as a high-school girl. She's finally managed to force it all back in her mind - until the dreams start. Night after night, she dreams of a handsome stranger, mysterious, alluring, but most definitely evil. He calls her by name, and beckons her to come with him and be his bride in the world of nightmares. Gracie tries to keep it to herself, but soon she is preventing herself from sleeping, and the obvious strain soon makes itself apparant to the girl's best friend, Luna, a hispanic girl with incubus blood in her veins. Gracie's own family has fey blood, though she herself is only human. Luna tries to help her friend with the limited powers she has developed, but the situation only worsens. Soon, the man starts appearing in real life, showing up at Gracie's school, at her job, on the street... In their attempts to escape him, the two teenagers find themselves thrown into a dark world built on nightmares, from which they may never escape!
I dunno. It's a kind-of sequel to a previous novel, but it stands alone as well. |
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Jamie_rocks
Senior Writer
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Joined: 27 Apr 2008
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Reviews: 32
Country: America
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm, I'd say 9/10. It seems interesting, but the blurb and cover art would be the hit or miss.
My idea:
The Revenge (Questioning Title)
Annie was five years old when she stood by this lake and watched her mom drown her older brother, then herself. She's fifteen now. After a rocky start at first, she's finally steadied out in high school. She's making friends, dating, and doing her best to put Mark's death behind her, with the help of her wonderful adopted parents. Then Mark comes back. It's nothing new to see his face in her nightmares, but when he starts showing up in the waking world, she starts to wonder if she's being haunted. Though she's terrified, she can't really blame him. After all, she lived. Only Mark was cruelly murdered, and he's come back to get his revenge on her. But Annie starts to realize that it might not be her Mark's after, and she may have more to fear from the living than the supernatural.
And then of course, there's a twist at the end, but I'm not going to spoil it. |
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If life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let everyone wonder how you did it.
If you need a review, PM me or check out my topic in the "Will review for food" forum. |
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