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by lakegirls in Narrative Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry

This thread was created on November 5, 2007
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Love is a lot like Hate

I Hate Acrostic Poems (Winter)

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iQuippie   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 10:17 pm    Post subject: I Hate Acrostic Poems (Winter) Reply with quote

Winter whispered sweet hellos,

   seraphim in perfect tune

   sang a chorus like a dream,

   nocturne of a silver moon.



In the darkest depths of night,

   ghostly crystals kissed the lawn.

   Open your eyes to frosted glass

   and behold an icy dawn.



Nestled somewhere warm and dry,

   I'll be safe from howling winds,

   encased in a soft cocoon

   where numbness ends and love begins.



Tempests take over the night,

    and swallow the helpless day.

    Blizzards fuse the land and sky,

    arctic white to muted gray.



Evanescent rays of gold,

    cherished patches of sunlight

    cascade to the bedroom floor,

    envying Polaris burning bright.



Rime speaks stories as it drips,

   telling tales of its short life.

   Icicles all whisper low

   of the winter's love and strife.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like that. It paints a really nice picture in my head. Good job! Very Happy

~ Gwen
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was wonderful. There aren't too many good rhyming poems here, simply because so few people are able to write them. It wasn't cluttered, and you made the structure work for you instead of bending to the structure.
That the imagery was out of this world goes without saying.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow.
That was, well..really good ^^
I agree with Rigel; most rhyming poems here aren't very good, but that was spectacular. I could see the scenes you described. Unfortunately, I'm no expert with poetry, so I won't be able to provide any useful feedback Sad
But, yeah. That was excellent!

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like this poem. Since I live in Hawaii, I don't get much of the "Winter" feeling, but could feeling winter while reading this poem.

-bobiscool134

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you did an awesome job.

i loved the discription. normally to much isnt good, but in your case, it turned out beautiful. i personally dont like winter, ( i live in it). you made it sound like a beautiful season.

i should save this, so when winter gets bad all i have to do is pull out your poem , close my eyes and pretend it is beautiful.

i look forward to reading more of your writings.

kim
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This poem... wow, it's beautiful. You've probably heard it a few times already, but this describes Winter well. The stanzas per letter sound great. I apologise for the lack of helpful critiquing, I just thought I'd mention that I love the way you did this poem.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The imagery was very good in this, along with the rhythm and rhyme. I have to say I've always seen acrostics just simply being one line per letter, so it was nice to see it per stanza instead. Again very good
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