Topic ID: 21694
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Saint Razorblade
the end is nigh Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 1922 Reviews: 479 Country: A ship! With me crew! 576 Points
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| Gifts made me uncomfortable if they were for me. I'd even managed to talk Sarah, my girlfriend, out of buying me anything on cheesy holidays or the relationship of our anniversary. |
Hahaha. It's nearly one in the morning. Cut me a break. |
_________________ "Woohoo! I was a homeless blackout drunk!" - Craig Ferguson
"Thank you for choosing Saint Razorblade Stick Beatings, where we really stick it to you - with a stick!" -Mattster |
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Insomnia
The meaning of life is stuck to your shoe! Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 457 Reviews: 201 Country: New Zealand 582 Points
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:45 am Post subject: |
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| “Oh, I’m sure you do,” he said, and popped both of the pills into his mother. |
Just in case you can't guess, mother = mouth... Because that's how we say it in my universe.  |
_________________ The artist formerly known as Insanityabounds. |
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Crysi
Cold and Fragile Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 4356 Reviews: 572 Country: California Crew, yo. 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:18 am Post subject: |
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| The children sat in silence, pondering this. Ponder, ponder, ponder. “That language... What did you say it was called?” Crysi asked in a way that made it completely non-obvious that this is a plot-advancing device and will therefore be very important in later parts of the story. |
...I don't even remember writing this.
>.< |
_________________ [Prokaryote] 8:00 pm: awwwww we love you too Crysis. but we hate your satanic WoW rituals |
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Perra
Y so srs? >:) Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 752 Reviews: 87 Country: Arkansas, USA 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| They continued on with some similar idle chatter I really don’t want to type out because I want to get this thing going already, gosh darnit! *ahem* And now back to your regularly scheduled book. ((right after I put this marker in so I know that I have some of my own talk right here)). |
I'm still in the very beginning of my story, and I really would like to get into the action. Although I still don't know what sort of action will happen first....eek!
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| Seira turned to her friend. “Please?” she asked, giving her puppy dog eyes, because no one can resist their best friend’s puppy dog eyes. |
I should add on to that one.  |
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Sam
sister socrates Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 12 Dec 2004 Posts: 4810 Reviews: 1240 Country: oslo in the summertime 726 Points
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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| The pigeons lined up like shoulders on the roof of the barn. |
...this is what happens when you try to write in the school library, on a day when sixty other people lurk about. |
_________________ He could not fall in love with anyone who wasn’t perfect, he told himself. It would be so hard to love someone imperfect.
- Also, I Could Kill You |
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Flemzo
Now With 50% More Flem!! Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 410 Reviews: 134 Country: United States 375 Points
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:46 am Post subject: |
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Here's one!
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| The door shut behind him, plunging him in a darkness that he had never seen before. |
You'd think it'd be obvious that you've never seen complete darkness... |
_________________ "How strange life is. How fragile. You never know what stunning development lies around the next corner."
-- From The Corner Of His Eye, by Dean Koontz |
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Crysi
Cold and Fragile Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 4356 Reviews: 572 Country: California Crew, yo. 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:09 am Post subject: |
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| The children sat up immediately, alarmed, clancing at each other. |
Clancing, eh? That's a new one. Is that entirely appropriate, especially during a lesson on etiquette?
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Nodding and grunting, the king said, “Very well. You may go. Ah, perhaps we ought to send some guards with them, or at least a maid for the girl, just in case?”
Agrytta laughed. “You and your magnificent ego...”
“What magnificent ego? I’m just trying to protect the girl. How is that an ego?”
“You served in the army. You think the soldiers are so tough and crude, and now you want to be the big man to protect the girl, even though you won’t go with her.”
“That’s just doing my job.”
“Well, I never said it was a bad thing, now did I?”
“You said I had a magnificent ego!”
“Magnificent doesn’t necessarily mean large, dear. Perhaps I was applauding you for thinking of her.”
The king grumbled at that point. “Well, the Almighty Authoress stole that idea from Donovan Jeska, copyright 2007, so I don’t appreciate you using it on me.”
“I apologize, dear.” She kissed him gently on the cheek, then summoned a maid. “Would you please take these two to the soldiers’ quarters?”
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*bows* Terrible writing, but I figured I'd at least give a nod to one of my favorite characters.  |
_________________ [Prokaryote] 8:00 pm: awwwww we love you too Crysis. but we hate your satanic WoW rituals |
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chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 31 May 2007 Posts: 1528 Reviews: 489 Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius 1264 Points
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 8:34 am Post subject: |
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Anna sighed and stood up, turning on her music, loud, and pulling the cd player over to her desk so Charlotte would actually have to stand up to turn it off. And Anna knew that Charlotte wouldn’t do that.
“Turn that crap off,” Charlotte said.
“No,” Anna mumbled. “Stop filing your nails.”
“No! Turn off your music!”
“No. You stop filing your nails.”
“Turn off that crap!”
“Stop filing your stupid nails.”
“Stop the music!”
“Stop the filing!”
Both girls were standing up, pointing at each other. Anna saw that Charlotte had stopped filing her nails, and turned off her music. Both girls returned to their activities, when Charlotte began filing her nails again. |
Erm... what can I say? I'm bored, I just did math homework and I really don't feel like practising my Clarinet. |
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Snoink
Snuggly Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 8350 Reviews: 2093 Country: USA 3500 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 12:52 am Post subject: |
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The hot guys laughed. “You shall see!” they cried, laughing manically, even though I had obviously spoken to myself and I really really really didn’t need them to be laughing manically in my ear. If said maniacal laughter can even be described with the adjective of maniacal. I mean, what kind of hell was this? Instead of having everlasting torture and all of that, you had people going off on adventures to solve math problems. I mean, what the hell? I half expected to see Frodo Baggins or some other stupid hobbit like that bouncing around with the circumference of power, trying to return it the Mountain of Calculus, or something completely cheesy like that. I mean, how cheesy can you get? There were some hot guys taking me to this one place, and my biggest worry was not whether I would be hurt, but about the math problems. SO STUPID.
So this probably proves that God has a sense of humor. Either that, or I’m stuck in a story that a brain dead, slightly sadistical, slight statistical (haha, get the joke?) author who really really really wants to get word count up, otherwise she wouldn’t be writing this paragraph and continuing it and continuing it and continuing it some more as much as she is, all in the name of word count.
But, obviously, that cannot be the case.
I digress.
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XD |
_________________ Leopluridon '08: He Will Show Us The Way! |
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AWritersFantasy
Keeper of Secrets Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 22 Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 644 Reviews: 59 Country: Caelestis 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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There are a few parts that are my favorites, sooo:
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“Your Majesty,” Aevorn said, his head still bowed. “We are honored by your visit here at our Haven.”
‘Thank you, Aevorn,” the Queen replied with a smile on her lips. Her blue eyes looked around at the small children at the table. “So, these are them? Which is the Heir?”
“Here.”
Aevorn moved back from the table and walked around to where Shamira, the five-year-old, stood, placing his hands on her shoulders. Shamira lifted her head to look up at the Queen with her large, deep brown eyes.
The Queen walked around the table and to where Shamira stood, kneeling down in front of her so that they were at eye level.
“Yes,” the Queen whispered after a moment. “This is her.” She stood back up, looking to Aevorn. “They will be safe here, I assume?” |
-From the prologue
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“Shamira. It’s a good, strong name for a future queen,” Kelasana mused. “Does she know what happened to her parents?”
Aevorn shook his head sadly, “No. Right now she believes they wanted her to go with me for a little while. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth.” He paused, as if considering something. “When we were at the top of the hill, I saw her looking at the palace. The other children were looking at the Haven, but she was watching the palace, as though she was being drawn to it.”
“That’s what it felt like for Cesarina,” replied the Queen skeptically. “And look what happened to her.”
“Yes, well . . . history might need to repeat itself in certain areas, but not in everything.”
“Indeed,” Kelasana replied. “Make sure their training starts as soon as possible. The others will need to be made to understand how important they are in protecting Shamira. Make sure a close eye is kept on her at all times, especially as she ages.” |
-Prologue again
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As Shamira waited, she looked around the area, tapping her fingernails on the saddle impatiently. Her attention was then drawn to a few bushes just outside the barn, where she heard rustling. Frowning, she peered at the bushes, but still couldn’t see anything.
“Having a staring contest with the bushes, Shamira?” Eras teased.
Shamira blinked and looked at her brother, who was now riding a horse that had been in the barn. “Very funny,” she replied dryly. “I thought I saw something move in the bushes.”
“It’s probably just a rabbit or something,” Eras replied. “Come on, let’s go.”
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-From chapter one, which takes place eighteen years or so after the prologue
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If there was anything she could ask for if granted a wish, it would be the ability to touch magic again.
It was a desire she tried to ignore, tried to pretend didn’t exist, but it had been so long since she’d used the magic abilities that had been part of her for so long that it was becoming impossible.
Cesarina Vardin was an outcast, a traitor to the crown. Everyone believed it and everyone knew it. |
-From chapter two, where I switch views to a secondary character. |
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Caelestis: Keeper's Throne (Chapter One: Reluctant Leader) |
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Writersdomain
Oh, YAY! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 1376 Reviews: 441 Country: Oceanstone 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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Great quotes, AWritersFantasy. ^_^
Some of my faves:
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“Yes, but those threats were idle, Tenon. I don’t want to storm into his house and wrench the kid away. It would be another strike on my reputation!”
“You have a reputation?”
Maynard’s eyes shot toward Tenon in a glare. “That’s quite enough, Tenon.” |
Maynard and Tenon - a lovely pair.
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Near tears, Altan cowered under Johnethein’s glare, convinced the man was furious with him. “What happened?” he demanded.
“I’m sorry,” Altan sobbed.
Grabbing both of Altan’s arms and lifting him, Johnethein shook the boy hard, his face burning with anger. “What happened?!”
Altan closed his eyes tightly, wincing at the pain in his back. The pressure building rapidly in his chest, Altan bit back tears desperately. “Why did you leave?” he cried, collapsing against Johnethein and bursting into sobs.
Johnethein’s body shook with shock. “What?” he croaked. |
Meh. Rough, but I like the dialogue.
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“I apologize about your back, but Altan doesn’t take well to being hit,” Johnethein informed Aloysius in a low, icy voice. “In fact, few children do. Not everybody knows of all your glory, Sir Ashwin.”
“That kid is my son! I can do whatever I–”
“No, you cannot. Yes, he is your son, but he belongs to the manor now, and I happen to be his guardian.” Johnethein’s eyes glowed with an angry fire as he stared at Aloysius. “Any matters you wish to discuss should be taken up with Lord Maynard Kellan.”
Altan stared at Aloysius in shock, unable to stomach the idea that that huge man could be his father; he didn’t come out from behind Johnethein.
“You can’t keep my son from me!” Aloysius yelled and lunged at Johnethein.
Johnethein only held out one arm and restrained the man easily. “Actually, I can,” he said in a low, challenging voice, glaring Aloysius directly in the face. “And at the moment I feel compelled to.” |
Hehe, Johnethein is my fave. |
_________________ ~ WD
"For I shall make thy screams a song
And thy sorrows a fortress
Thy tears a shield of glass."
~MatteSPEW can see you! |
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AWritersFantasy
Keeper of Secrets Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 22 Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 644 Reviews: 59 Country: Caelestis 300 Points
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TL G-Wooster
one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Feb 2007 Posts: 3472 Reviews: 813 Country: in Bavaria where the sheep seldom wear spectacles 1121 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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"What's [your name]?"
"Nessa." The eye blinked again, and seemed to smile, as though the owner was smiling as well. "What're you in fer? Were you goin' to dive? Picked up for bein' clear? Chousin'? You 'eading fer the chates? Were you caw-'anded in 'olding the chink? You a clapperdogeon? A dab? A damber? A ding-boy? Didn't you 'ave a dawb to give to the chattish cull who runs this stone jug?"
My eyebrows had been getting higher and higher during this speech, which she said like she was reciting poetry. Finally, I said, making every effort to speak well, like Dad was always nagging at me to, "I'm wery sorry, miss, but I can't tumble to your barrikin." |
It's not that I was getting desperate about the count, not at all, of course not, whatever gave you that idea? It's... um, character development! Showing and not telling, that's what it is! |
_________________ NURSE: I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth.
BADER: You wouldn't get a chance, you'd be killed in the rush. |
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Sumi H. Inkblot
happily in love with band (music is her boyfriend) Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 2992 Reviews: 268 Country: Mu 350 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| “Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety eight bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety seven bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety seven bottles of beer on the wall, ninety seven bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety six bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety five bottles of beer on the wall, ninety five bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety four bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety four bottles of beer on the wall, ninety four bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety three bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety three bottles of beer on the wall, ninety three bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety two bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety two bottles of beer on the wall, ninety two bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety one bottles of beer on the wall! |
And so on, and so forth. I love drunken characters, they make the word count go boom. ^.^ |
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Sam
sister socrates Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 12 Dec 2004 Posts: 4810 Reviews: 1240 Country: oslo in the summertime 726 Points
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| "Hello, Miss Johnson-Karamachi," he said, holding out his hand. "I apologize that I haven't gotten the chance to formally welcome you to New Prague Consoidated School District Junior/Senior High School." |
...no, the name of the school isn't mentioned every five pages and it is most certainly not nine words long. XD
The quote that probably sums up NaNoing in the extreme is in my siggy. Totally random, totally for the sake of boosting my wordcount. |
_________________ He could not fall in love with anyone who wasn’t perfect, he told himself. It would be so hard to love someone imperfect.
- Also, I Could Kill You |
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