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Icaruss
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 Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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All I have the first couple of paragraphs before the title, but... I think I have a quote I like.
"Doesn’t take me too long to find him, either. I ask around, I call a few people, and two hours later I’m standing in front of this shitty building in Old Town. Windows broken, senseless messages spray-painted all over the walls, two fifteen year old kids offering me drugs as I walk inside, some old ass bitch ODing all over the floor next to an elevator that’s probably been out of order as long as anybody can remember. This is the world I live in. Fuck." |
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Perra
Y so srs? >:)
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| Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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The wind making love to your face sounds really awkward. >.>
I like this bit because Zoar is trying to get Selené (aka Miss Uppity Proper Noble Woman) to adapt to occasionally using her bare hands to eat her food. Meanwhile:
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| By this time Seira had sliced off a piece of bread and was using it as a plate and another piece of bread she had torn in half to pick up and move bits of scrambled eggs to her ‘plate.’ She had tried this method on the sausage, but the slices were too big to brush onto the bread with the bread so she went ahead and used her fingers. |
Not only did I not expect Seira to be naïve and immature, but I didn't expect it to be in a fun way. Out of the three characters currently in the story, she is my favorite.  If only because of what she did in the above paragraph. |
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Jared
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:01 am Post subject: |
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Ok, here is the coolest/freakiest part of my story.
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| It was waiting for him. There, in the dark. It had one paw on the window, and was using the other three for support. The werewolf was huge; the biggest thing Landon had ever seen, but yet, its features were if those as a dog or a wolf. It slowly started pushing, and Landon realized that it was trying to get in! |
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Meep
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:44 am Post subject: |
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Razorblade, that sounds like two of my characters (though they aren't in my NaNo).
I have lots of note-to-self and very few contractions. 
| Meep wrote: |
| “Books, books,” he mumbled, carefully sorting through the stack of required books for the year. He had them all – History of the Empire, Alchemic Theory I, [et cetera, et cetera, et cetera] – so what was it that bothered him so? |
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KingKamor
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:48 am Post subject: |
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MC trying to get into a elevator. I did this mainly for word count.
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“Hold the doors!” I shouted. My calls seemed to fall upon deaf ears as the doors continued to close, so I sped towards it as fast as I could. I did a flying leap that hurled me towards it, and turned sideways in midair as I approached the closing doors. I cleared the gap like something out of Independence Day, and rolled to a stop inside the large elevator.
“Safe!” Once of the male students shouted as if he were an umpire.
I felt safe for a moment, only to stumble slightly and have to catch myself on the side railings of the mirror-walled box. I looked up as every other person in the elevator chuckled at my little show of athleticism. I abruptly stood up and rushed myself off. I was still breathing hard from the marathon that I ran earlier.
“I’ve got to admit, though, you almost made that look good,” another male student said. He seemed at least a little kinder than the first one.
“It’s how I roll,” I said as I fixed my glasses.
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This is one when the main character is late for a business class in his college. This introduces his professor.
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The moment the seat of my pants touched down on my chair, I heard Professor Donavan say with his back still turned to the class, “Mr. James Marcoh!”
I cringed and let out a sigh before I said innocently, “Yes, Professor Donavan?”
He turned to face me, his stiff white bob cut didn’t move an inch. “What were we just discussing? I’ve got that old-age bad memory thing going. Could you remind me?”
Even though I was confident that I could answer, I still stuttered, “Th-the various activities that cause rise and fall in stock value.”
He smiled with his mustache moving into a sideways crescent moon, and said, “Very good, Mr. Marcoh. But while I appreciate every future businessman’s right to cover his own ass, I’d appreciate it even more if you would just admit that you were late.” |
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Crysi
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:33 am Post subject: |
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I just realized... If I use "make love" instead of "whooshed" I'll add a word onto my word count...
Tempting.  |
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Teague
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:43 am Post subject: |
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I'm making up words already!
"Less witnesses, less intereference." |
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Jennafina
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:24 am Post subject: |
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"Seska swiveled around."
Haha. I can't believe I wrote that. Seska is a person, btw, not a chair. |
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bubblewrapped
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:31 am Post subject: |
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*giggles* In this one, I have a one-sided argument with myself:
"She was staring down at a vast expanse of glittering blue-green waves, the likes of which she had never seen before (she’s never seen the sea, because...um. Actually she has, because. No. She hasn’t)."
I still cant decide *headdesk* |
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Sir Mantis
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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If it weren't for the flame pluming from Martin's right hand, he would swear that time was frozen like the earth beneath his feet.
Lousy coke and candy + all night NaNo writing does this to you. |
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Lini-chan
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Here's one from mine:
"Hello, my avian feline friend and also my girlfriend's wonderful little sister Lyli who I am sure is very glad to see me alive."
This one I just thought was random:
"Redman glanced at the phoenix, and was slightly alarmed to find that glowing embers were gently falling like orange snow off of the phoenix’s wings and onto the carpet. He hoped it wouldn't set the White House on fire." |
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Sumi H. Inkblot
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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"Matt Gudspel squinted at her in a suspicious sort of way and raised his eyebrows so much so that they floated directly above his head for several long seconds."
Chapter Eight
With the Wanderers (or, “There Are Others?” “Imagine that.”)
Well, read on, anyway, as it is a fascinating and riveting tale. (Or, at least, I hope it is. This is National Novel Writing Month and it's hard to get elements of fascinating, riveting and amazing all into one story where you're constantly infodumping.)
She was a quiet child by nature, though this was often eclipsed by her odd sense of humor – it was, indeed, something of sarcasm, irony and random humor rolled into one odd burrito of humors -- that was more than a little confusing to the people around her.
XD |
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Jared
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| Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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How about this? This is right before Landon gets bitten by Payton and transforms into a werewolf:
I was terrified out of my mind! My worst fear, the very monster that I had written about in my report was standing not even four feet away from me! There was nothing I could do. That Vampire was baring her fangs, I knew for the last time, and I couldn’t help but feel sad for the thing because I knew she would die.
But what about me? Was I to die? No! Never!
Ha! How about that? |
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Teague
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:21 am Post subject: |
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*snort/cackle*
I kept walking. My brain went into hyperdrive, screaming at my legs to stop, but they were feeling rebellious at the time. My internal battle continued, neither side gaining any ground- well, I guess my legs were, but that’s just a bad pun.
I'm feeling a bit cheeky with this one, because in context it's a very serious moment. xD
Edit: Oh, and then I come out with this real beauty:
As if he’d heard the noise, Steven came bustling in from his room in the back. At first he didn’t notice himself,
Epic fail! |
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Sam
it's you! it's me! it's dancing!
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:41 am Post subject: |
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This was originally supposed to be a boring intro scene (wherein a random woman gives a tour of their new house), but I Sukie-fied it:
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She wandered into the living room. “This is the living room, where my great-great-grandfather and Lionel Calloway used to play cards.”
They turned into the main entrance- a corridor with wood flooring and a staircase that swept up into the second story. A coat rack was standing next to the banister, bare. “And this is where my great-great grandfather and Lionel Calloway would hang their coats in the wintertime.” [...]
The first door on the right was open, to reveal another beige-and-wood room with bookshelves carved into the wall. “This is the study, where my great-great-grandfather and Lionel Calloway would spend hours overlooking the farms’ finances.”
They came to the bathroom- a room with black-and-white check tile and a claw foot tub. A hideously out dated showerhead was drilled into the wall in the corner, and a flowered shower curtain was pushed back as far along the track as it would go.
And this is the bathroom, Sukie thought, where my great-great-grandfather and Lionel Calloway would take bubble baths together. |
Carl and the PE teacher:
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“I cut my hand open, Coach Daniels. Do I have to play today?”
“Excuse me?” said Coach Daniels. “Do I have to play ‘call Malloy a pansy’ today?” |
Carl learns to talk to girls:
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Ashley bent over and tapped his shoulder. “What’d you do to your hand?” she asked.
“I cut it open.”
She made a face. “Doing what?”
Ashley was clearly expecting such as, “cutting down forests” or “saving children from a flaming building”. Carl decided to tell her the truth.
“Cutting onions for my grandmother.”
She didn’t say anything.
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I've come to the conclusion that Sukie is a smart-arse and Carl is just tragic. XD
And I somehow connected corn with Shibuya-eki. I don't quite know how. |
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