Topic ID: 21331
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Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
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 Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:38 am Post subject: The feeling is new... |
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I'm pretty tense because this is the first poem which is very different from what I write. 
This was written in a hurry,I know I got to revise it again,it has somethings to be fixed.
But if you really point out the things it would be helpful. 
~~~~~~
The feeling is new...
I had it for the last few months,
yes I'm having it still too.
Know not when its going to leave me,
but I get it very often and everytime it seems new.
Its the...
feeling for him,I know not
what feeling it is,
sometimes its so confusing
it leaves me all numb.
I know not...I know not, what feeling is this.
Is it love, is it hate?
Or is it just something fake?
Does it come straight from my heart?
Is this just a feeling of being a teen
or is this just natural?
Is it just for fun
or is it out of sympathy for the love he gave?
I know not,I know not...
the feeling is new.....it is new....
I don't die over his looks,
neither on his attitude.
Yet when he speaks,
Its sure to bring a smile on my cheeks.
When he is around I know not I feel how
but when he is away,
I know not but i surely feel the emptiness.
Is this feeling just that i like him
as a friend,
or is it the deeper feeling,
I know not,I know not....the feeling is indeed new. |
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"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.
Last edited by Shine on Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 958
Reviews: 357
Country: India
317 Points
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| Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.
Last edited by Shine on Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:21 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Kyte
Official YWS hawk
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| Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:23 pm Post subject: |
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| It's cool. But who is the narrator? You? A friend? A character? |
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Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
Speaker of the Forum
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Age: 16
Joined: 26 Dec 2005
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Country: India
317 Points
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| Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| A teen girl is the narrator. |
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"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh. |
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xhalcyonx128
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| Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:48 am Post subject: |
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| this is still rough i can see, but i like the complexity. i have to say that its typical complexity (paradox i know) but how you sum it up is effective, its quite simply.....new. |
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Shine
Do I've a crush or an orange crush?
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 958
Reviews: 357
Country: India
317 Points
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| Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| hmmmm...Thanx! |
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"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh. |
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