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Escape from the Academy, Part 2
Escape from the Academy, Part 2

by Warrior Princess in Science-Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on September 26, 2007
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Colouring Felix

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Myth   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:36 pm    Post subject: Colouring Felix Reply with quote

Colouring Felix

[Black]

Felix’s witch hadn’t given him a magical talent like all familiars were supposed to have.

Lola applied blue lipstick and quick flicks of green eyeliner. “Am I pretty?” she asked.

Felix purred.

“Good. I’m going out now. Be a good for Lola.”

When she got to the door Felix blocked her way. “What wrong?” The cat lifted a paw and licked himself, and then ran over to the dresser, climbing onto Lola’s cushioned stool. He rubbed against the mirror, knocking over perfume bottles. Felix whipped his tail at Lola’s make-up box and lipstick tubes.

She gazed at him curiously – drew a sign in the air, directing it at Felix. “A makeover? I think I know what you mean.” Another sign brought the scent bottles upright.

Felix meowed. She blew a kiss and left. “Be careful!” He heard the rustle of leaves as Lola rode a nearby wind to a meeting for witches.

[Red]

In the mirror he saw no change. Suddenly he felt prickles along his back, began hissing and spitting when another cat appeared in the mirror.

It moved as he did.

Is that me? He wondered. Going round in circles, admiring the glossy red fur. Yes!

He jumped off the dresser and ran outside.

It wasn’t long before he came across widow Shabnam. Upon seeing him she screamed, “Shaytan! Why don’t you go back Down There?”

Not the Devil! He wanted to say. Only a startled meow came out.

[Green]

Felix moved on – ignoring Shabnam who was shouting and fleeing in the opposite direction.

He wondered what other people would think of him. Imagine! They’d probably say, A red cat! Felix purred – feeling electric.

At the next cottage along the lane, he heard crying and followed the sound into the garden, squeezing through the fence. A boy sat on a blanket, howling and, rather sorry for it; Felix trotted over to him and let fat hands grab him.

“Kitty,” the boy said – drooling on Felix. This, he didn’t like and wriggled out of the boy’s grasp. “Look at kitty.”

Felix growled. The child’s mother came out and shooed him away. “Dear Lord! Green cats? Get away, you!”

[Purple]

In town Felix dodged between thousands of feet, had his tail stamped on and in the end ran into an open doorway to get away from offending feet.

“You bad cat!” He jumped as a huge woman towered over him. She bent and scooped him up and carried him away upstairs. “Running away again? We’ll get this purple gunk off you any minute, naughty cat!”

He was thrown into a tub of warm water, filled to the top with bubbles. Felix protested.

Enough. He scratched and squirmed, splashing water everywhere. The woman chased after Felix but he jumped out the window and past people’s feet again.

[Black]

Lola found him curled up on her stool. “What have you been up to?” she whispered – biting her bottom lip as she watched Felix’s memories unfold. “You won’t be doing that again,” she said with a laugh.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:13 pm    Post subject: ^-^v Reply with quote

Your story is interesting, but there are a few things that are confusing. First, his owner says something about a makeover. Is she talking about herself or Felix?

It's a bit confusing with each color, because there aren't enough details to comprehend the changes. Also, what is making him change different colors? Lola only said something about a make over, not changing different colors Smile

His encounter with Shabnam is not really explained. Is she a servant? A gargoyle? *Just kidding* XD and why does she react this way? With the introduction, it sounds like magic is a commonplace thing.
When he turns purple, we aren't told why he is in town- is he showing off his new color? Does he like the purple better than the red? Does he normally go into town at that time of day?

When Lola returns, she seems like a completely different person from the beginning. Did something happen at the meeting? Why would she not want Felix to do that again when she agreed to a makeover?
Throughout this piece, we never really know who Felix is. He could be a sorcerer trapped in cat form, a magical cat..... anything really. We don't really hear anything from him except that he likes to be red.

Anyway....... ^-^"

It's an interesting concept, and I'm really curious about this cat's story- mostly because animals turning different colors are considered childish, and you make this cat, Felix, sound quite the opposite, which I find unique and intriguing. Very Happy

Best of luck! I want to see what happens to this cat of a different color! ***I^o^I***

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Myth. I really liked the idea behind the story, the whole color scheme, it felt like "Pepe le Pew". However, I found the scenarios to be frankly boring. Perhaps more conflict would help here? At least something less mundane, as the format surely isn't.

As for the words that are actually in the story (not the titles) being colored... meh. I just don't know if it's working. I think if perhaps you were to use the colors not as colors, but used in other contexts, it would work better. Example: Felix had escaped the child's mother feeling a bit 'blue', but moved on...blah, blah. Make sense? Perhaps idioms or adages would work better in these instances?

It really is a cute idea and I hope you can develop it to its full potential.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seraph Tree:

Quote:
First, his owner says something about a makeover. Is she talking about herself or Felix?


She’s referring to Felix. The first line was actually a clue to this, Felix just wanted something that would make him like other families who have ‘magical talents’.

Quote:
Also, what is making him change different colors? Lola only said something about a make over, not changing different colors Smile


I guess makeovers work differently on witches cats.

Quote:
His encounter with Shabnam is not really explained. Is she a servant? A gargoyle? *Just kidding* XD and why does she react this way? With the introduction, it sounds like magic is a commonplace thing.


Most people associate the colour red with the devil—Shaytan is the word used by Muslims—and so it is quite natural for Shabnam to react the way she did. Also explains the magic thing, not everyone has it or approves of it.

Quote:
When he turns purple, we aren't told why he is in town- is he showing off his new color? Does he like the purple better than the red? Does he normally go into town at that time of day?


Clue: He wondered what other people would think of him. Yes, he was intending to show-off.

Quote:
When Lola returns, she seems like a completely different person from the beginning. Did something happen at the meeting?


Thanks for pointing this out, I didn’t really notice.

Quote:
Why would she not want Felix to do that again when she agreed to a makeover?


He did get into a bit of trouble and so I guess she didn’t want anything to happen to him.

Trident:

I intended to explain things and have more than a few encounters but this is a contest entry with the word limit of 500 so I couldn’t post the original and cut off everything expect what you’ve read.

I had something similar to your example but ditched it in the end, it was supposed to be right after the Purple scene.

.:

Thank you both and hopefully I just might edit this once the contest is over so you can see the full version. Unfortunately Lola and Felix won’t really appear much, they belong in a collection of short stories called Constable’s Cloud—something for kids which why I’m keeping it simple—and I don’t plan on meeting them again for a very long time.

Myth

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This thread was created on September 26, 2007

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