[pre:0213988a14]Note: If you haven't read chapters one and two yet, the links can be found in my signature.
Author name: AWritersFantasy
Title: Archer's Legend chapter three: What Dreams Reveal
Rating: G or PG
Genre: Fantasy
Summary (if applicable): The continuing story of Kaliyah Pentalas.
Author notes: The only thing I'm unsure about is the barracks that are mentioned/come in to a scene towards the end of the chapter. I haven't done any research on them, but I'm not sure if what I was imagining/trying to describe is the same as actual barracks, especially in a medieval sort of setting. I think that was the only thing I was unsure about in this chapter. I thought of something else, too- the part where Kaliyah goes in to the camp where the barracks are is kind of iffy to me, because she sort of just waltzes right in, and I feel like I need to work on that a bit more.
Critique (yes or no)/critiquing notes: Detailed critiques are okay, but nothing pointing out grammar/spelling since I plan on dealing with that once this draft is finished. So basically, the usual rules for my writing.
“Hello, Archer.”
Weaver was standing in front of her. He wore his usual cloak, but the hood was pulled down, revealing his dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. His expression was firm and hard to read.
“Weaver. What are you doing here? And what is this place?” Kaliyah asked, glancing around the throne room before looking back at him.
“It’s an abandoned palace in Alaycia,” Weaver replied.
“So . . . this place actually exists? I’m not just dreaming about it?”
He nodded slowly, “Something like that.”
“Why won’t you give me a straight answer?” Kaliyah asked. “Why can’t you just tell me why you’re in my dream?’
“Wake up, and I will.”
Kaliyah bolted up from where she had been laying, breathing heavily. She looked around and found herself on the floor of the abandoned cabin she and Weaver had arrived at only a few hours before. Weaver was standing by the window, having taken the first watch.
She pushed the few blankets they had found off and stood, walking over to where he stood. It was night out, but the light of the moon and fire place where a small fire had been lit touched Weaver’s face enough to illuminate it.
“Took you long enough to wake up,” Weaver said, not turning toward her.
“I just had the strangest dream . . . about a palace,” Kaliyah replied, scratching at the back of her neck as she tried to remember.
“In Alaycia,” he cut in. “Yes, I know. What you dreamt about was real.”
Kaliyah shook her head, “I don’t understand. It was just a dream. It wasn’t anything else.”
Weaver turned toward her, “No, it wasn’t,” he said. He sighed. “It’s a little hard to explain, but you won’t believe me otherwise.”
Kaliyah watched as Weaver walked over to the fire place. He put one arm on the mantle and used it to lean as he watched the fire dance in front of him.
“The Alaycian’s had this . . . magic ability they called “the Gift.” Not every Alaycian was born with it, but those that are have a number of magical abilities,” he began. “One of those is being a dream seer. Your dreams become realistic, like you’re actually there. You can see the past and present in them. Those with advanced training can sort of . . . insert themselves in to another person’s dream, though it’s something that should be done sparingly. It’s something that I do sparingly.”
Kaliyah listened as Weaver spoke, his words echoing in her head as she thought about what he was saying. If she hadn’t just dreamt what she had, she probably would have ran out of the cabin right then and headed back to Kalevi.
“So what I was dreaming about was a real palace, in the present,” she said.
“Yes. The palace was abandoned years ago when the Alaycian’s were being massacred. It’s one of the few buildings still standing, but has a lot of damage,” he answered.
“I’ve dreamt about the palace before,” Kaliyah said after a moment. “I dreamt about it last night . . . but I woke up just as someone said my name . . .”
“And you continued the dream just now,” Weaver said. “I hope you’ll forgive me for it, but I inserted myself in to your dream last night. Based on what your brother told us about you, there wasn’t going to be much that would convince you to come with us, and then stay to learn about the Alaycian’s. So I asked his permission to insert myself in to your dream and sort of . . . push you in to taking certain steps so that you would be more willing to come with us.”
Kaliyah narrowed her eyes as Weaver mentioned her brother. Where was he right now? Was he still alive? She hated not knowing, hated having to wait to find out.
“We should probably figure out what our next step should be,” Weaver said after a moment of silence. “It’s not going to be easy getting in to that prison, if that’s where they’re being taken. Unfortunately we do not have any allies to help us.”
“Where is this cabin, do you know?” Kaliyah asked.
“Somewhere between Mistfen and Endrak, the desert that the prison is in. Why do you ask?” he replied.
“My brother Kaldar is a soldier. His barracks are in Deirril. I don’t know how willing he’d be to help us, but I could try to convince him . . . he could go back to Kalevar and ask our brother Jasek to help,” Kaliyah replied.
Weaver seemed to ponder this for a moment. “It’s a bit risky,” he said. “But any help is better than no help at all. At least with your brothers helping, we might have more of a chance of surviving and rescuing the others.”
“How do we even know that they’re in that prison?” asked Kaliyah.
“It’s likely that they were outnumbered by the attackers. It’s not their style to simply kill those they’re after. Besides . . . I know because I used my abilities to find out,” Weaver said. “Go back to sleep. I’ll keep watch the rest of the night.”
Kaliyah started to reply, but closed her mouth and nodded slowly and walked back to where her blankets were. As soon as she laid down, her eyes closed and she fell asleep.[/pre:0213988a14]
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At someone's request, I've broken this up in to different sections all in this thread, so you'll have to scroll down a bit to read the next few sections.
No grammer crit... *restrains self* Well, grammer aside - it wasn't too bad, actually - this was good. Dialogue fine, description fine, conflict good. 
I'd expect more of a reaction - a strange girl walks past them. What're they going to think?
