| Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers |
|
This thread was created on September 5, 2007
 |
|
Got A Great Idea Today!
Topic ID: 19638
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Icaruss
Disgustingly Honest. Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 478 Reviews: 112 Country: Peru. 300 Points
|
Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:59 am Post subject: Got A Great Idea Today! |
|
|
So. I'm sitting in my computer, and was having the urge to write a Western. I just didn't know what it would be about. So, I got a little bit inspired and wrote the following lines:
"The dust spirals upwards. Birds chirp. The trees around them are rocked softly by the cool western wind. Flies buzz in circles around their faces. Some of them land themselves on their sweaty skin. The sun is setting. Their eyes are locked.
The gunmen draw. And one is faster than the other."
And it sounded cool. But now I faced the following problems: Who were the gunmen? Why would they want to kill each other? Where are they? This is what I came up with--
Brothers! They're brothers. They were together forever. One of them becomes a hardcore bandit, gets married, while the other one follows him around some of the time, but is generally aimless. Then the Civil War happens. The bandit brother takes this as a chance of chaos, you know, take whatever you can. The other one joins the army. They're separated. Have adventures. Then the army one deserts the South, and goes to join his brother's gun. He feels out of place. His brother is a real scumbag, but loves his wife very much. Stuff happens. They end up in jail.
They spend a few years inside. His brother befriends a couple of guys, and plan an escape plan. The army guy thinks it won't work. He tells his brother that he'll get killed. His brother doesn't listen-- his wife is dying, he needs to see her. The army brother decides he's not going to stand and watch his brother get killed. He tips off the prison director. About the escape plan, about liquor smuggling by his brother's friends. Everything. In two weeks, they let him out of the prison. His brother stays, wounded because of his failed escape plan.
Some years later. The bandit brother returns to the town his brother is at with the intention of killing him.
Is that good or what?! I mean, come on! It's like The Good The Bad and The Ugly meets Once Upon A Time In America. |
_________________ All you little girls, settin' out that line,
I can make love to you, woman, in five seconds time.
Ain't that a man? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 5272 Reviews: 1323 Country: England 590 Points
|
Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I like the plot ideas but I don't think the paragraph you've written so far is all that great. I's rather cliche and the description could be stronger. Go with the whole civil war idea though. That would make a great story. Hmmm. Maybe best friends rather than brothers though? |
_________________ Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You cannot download files in this forum
|
|
| This thread was created on September 5, 2007 |
Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
|