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This thread was created on September 5, 2007
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Topic ID: 19602
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sleuthchick
Junior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 25
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 29
Reviews: 17
Country: United States
300 Points
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 Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 5:28 am Post subject: There is a Story in You (You're a Star) |
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Everyone is special from their hair to their toes.
Everyone has got something about them.
We are all different and everyone knows.
You can wish for a change to come and let it wash over you.
When the miracle is done you'll look in the mirror and see someone new.
But you don't have to change your appearance, just be happy the way you are. You're a star.
You don't have to speak to be heard.
Express yourself through written words.
You can even take a blank canvas, a brush, and some paint, and make a beautiful scene.
You can do anything.
Just believe in what you do.
Because you're a star and there is a story in you.
If you want to make a difference.
The possibilites are endless.
Act out your frustratons in a movie,
or sing out your pain in a song,
or write down your thoughts in a book telling people what went right in your life and what went wrong.
As I said before you can do anything.
Just believe in what you do.
Because you're a star and there is a story in you. |
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Writing is my thang. But you can express yourself in so many different ways.
Last edited by sleuthchick on Sun Sep 16, 2007 8:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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kitty15
Your friendly neighbourhood kitten
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 4853
Reviews: 1306
Country: England
1578 Points
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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This is really interesting. You took a rather unoriginal idea, threw in a few nice phrases and a pretty jagged rhythm and yet... I like it. Lol. In general, the rhythm needs work and you need to add a few more verses, preferably with some really original words but what you have is pretty good...
| Quote: |
Everyone is special from their hair to their toes.
Everyone has got something about'em
that other people don't. [How about making this a bit smoother. Something like -
Everyone is special from their hair to their toes -
they all got something about them.
No one is the same and everyone knows:]
You can wish for a change to come and let it wash over you.
When the miracle is done you'll look in the mirror and see someone new.
But you don't have to change your appearance just be happy the way you are.
You're a star!
You can also don't have to speak to be heard.-
You can Express yourself through written words.
You can even take a blank canvas, a brush, and some paint, and make a beautiful scene.
You can do anything.
Just believe in what you do.
Because you're a star and there is a story in you. [I really like this part and I love how you've linked the song with writing but left it general enough for anyone to relate to.]
If you want to make a difference.
The possibilites are endless.
Act out your frustratons in a movie,
or sing out your pain in a song,
or write down your thoughts in a book, [Perhaps start a new line here?] telling people what went right in your life and what went wrong.
As I said before you can do anything.
Just believe in what you do.
Because you're a star and there is a story in you. |
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_________________
Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
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| This thread was created on September 5, 2007 |
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Bartemius says, All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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