Topic ID: 1895
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| For those of you who experience severe anxiety, does this seem like an accurate description? |
| That's exactly how I feel! |
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33% |
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| Sometimes it feels that way. |
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33% |
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| Kind of, I guess. |
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33% |
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| Total Votes : 3 |
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Rei
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 Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:11 pm Post subject: Anxiety |
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Last edited by Rei on Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:44 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Areida
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| Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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| It's as mixed up as a dislexic trying to read, |
I'm pretty sure dyslexic is spelled with a 'y'.
Okay, I am definitely not a poet, so the only suggestion I can really make is to break it up into stanzas instead of having it written in story form. ie:
It spins faster than a sailfish swims
It's as mixed up as a dislexic trying to read
Yet as clear as air.
But you don't realize
That this air is filled
With black smoke
Anyway, just a suggestion. I didn't vote, because I don't suffer from chronic anxiety, but I think you did a pretty good job with this.
~*~Areida~*~ |
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niteowl
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| Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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I don't suffer from anxiety, but I agree with Areida. MAKE IT INTO STANZAS!
Ok sorry. And yes dyslexic is spelled with a y.
I liked it, but please break it into stanzas so it looks like poetry! |
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Rei
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| Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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| This is called a prose poem. It does not need to be put into stanzaz, and it was written this way on purpose. |
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Tarrossesgirl
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| Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:50 am Post subject: |
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| I liked it, I wrote something like that a while ago...hm, PM me? I like you work and I'd like to get to know writers who have work I like. |
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Chanson
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| Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 2:16 am Post subject: |
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hmmm, i'm not sure about this. i really enjoy prose but this didn't seem like prose. or poetry. it seemed unsure and shakey. i have experienced severe anxiety before and i don't feel this quite captured what i felt, although i suppose it's different for everybody.
it didn't make me #feel# anything. it was just another piece.
i did like the first line, however. |
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Armadian
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| This again sounds alot like u.I liked all of it expecialy the pizza part. |
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Emma
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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It sound more of a small story piece than a poem..
Mostly because its not in stanzas. Sorry, it just makes it more look like a poem.. (shuts up) |
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