Topic ID: 18383
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Meep
♥less
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 19
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Posts: 1851
Reviews: 209
Country: Nutopia
300 Points
|
 Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:37 pm Post subject: To Compose an Epitaph |
 |
|
Always.
Even after all this time,
______Your way forward is clear.
We were talking of minds
______And my soul.
I shall never reveal the best of you.
If you're wondering why all of those lines sound familiar, it's because they're rearranged lines of dialogue from chapter thirty-three of Deathly Hallows. If you've read it, you know what chapter I'm talking about. |
_________________
「… the closer you get to the light // the greater your shadow becomes …」
» temporary hiatus while I go back to school and get settled in again
» enter the "fangirl project" competition & win fabulous(?) prizes!
Last edited by Meep on Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:19 pm; edited 2 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
gyrfalcon
to live would be an awefully big adventure
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 2147
Reviews: 423
Country: follow me
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| ...it's beautiful, darling. Truly. (crap, I might as well go withdrawl my entries right now....) |
_________________
“If we do not believe in decent behaviour, why should we be so anxious to make excuses for not having behaved decently…For you notice that it is only for our bad behaviour that we find all these explanations.” ~C.S. Lewis |
|
| Back to top |
|
frenchpastry
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 28 Jul 2007
Posts: 126
Reviews: 13
Country: United States
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
Completely wonderful, and sadly romantic.  *Applause to you* for writing the best Snape poem, in my opinion, in the world. |
_________________
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ^_^ |
|
| Back to top |
|
thewonderworldofnight
Writer
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 76
Reviews: 29
Country: Zaiadan
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
NOOOOO!!! SNAPE!!! DUMBLEDORE!!!
Like others said before me, it's beautiful in a sad way...  |
_________________
'"Many years ago, when I was young, I saw a fire, and what looked like death-- and beyond that, in the dark places, something...or some One, who knew me. Shall I at last find my way back to that wonderworld of Night?"' |
|
| Back to top |
|
Poor Imp
imp forgets what was writ
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 3794
Reviews: 420
Country: the roof
300 Points
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Oy, the final remarks set up as a poem are more than clever. You've got double-meanings and depth in the best possible way. Brevity with thought - soul of wit, yes? In this case, poignancy.
The best of luck the The Snape contest.
IMP |
_________________
'We experiment with ourselves in a way we would never permit ourselves to experiment with animals and, carried away by our curiosity, we cheerfully vivisect our souls.'-Nietszche |
|
| Back to top |
|
Meep
♥less
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Posts: 1851
Reviews: 209
Country: Nutopia
300 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you all. I really appreciate the feedback. (It's especially nice to hear that my poetry is all right, because I don't write it very often.)
Imp, d'you mind specifying the double meanings you saw? (I'm curious. I, er, didn't really plan this one out. Just sort of wrote it.) |
_________________
「… the closer you get to the light // the greater your shadow becomes …」
» temporary hiatus while I go back to school and get settled in again
» enter the "fangirl project" competition & win fabulous(?) prizes! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 5272
Reviews: 1323
Country: England
590 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Lol. Don't you love it when people read meaning in our poetry that we did not initially put there? This does feel really deep and I love that you've taken actual lines from the book. That's such a clever idea. The last line is perfect I think and so very fitting. In fact, I have no suggestions. The indention works, the separation of the last is effective and the lines themselves are great. The poem as a whole is rather vague which leaves it open to wide interpretation and the lines are so vague that double meanings are easily found. Very nice and the best of luck in the contest! |
_________________
Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
whence
look, it's a whence.
Speaker of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 705
Reviews: 314
Country: For Old Men (take that, Coen brothers)
300 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Way to scare everyone away from my contest :p |
_________________
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway
I'm reminding myself to crit this |
|
| Back to top |
|
Meep
♥less
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Posts: 1851
Reviews: 209
Country: Nutopia
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Kitty, that's my favorite part of writing. (S'funny; people never see the meanings I intend for them to see, they come up with other stuff instead.)
... and, er, sorry, whence. *meep* |
_________________
「… the closer you get to the light // the greater your shadow becomes …」
» temporary hiatus while I go back to school and get settled in again
» enter the "fangirl project" competition & win fabulous(?) prizes! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
