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Playing The Field - Epilogue
Playing The Field - Epilogue
by Meep(: in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on July 29, 2007
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OnCeUpOnAtIm3Xo   View This User's Portfolio
Wants a fairy tale ending (:
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Very descriptive, I like it! But, in the beginning (maybe this is just me being brain dead, but) I thought that summer was the season and was extremely confused! You might want to sort that out, and make sure the reader knows that Summer is a dog. (I thought that it was the season, and that you were overly using personification.)

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canislupis   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hah, I guess that is the problem with sharing a name with a season. Smile Any suggestions on how to clear it up?

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TL G-Wooster   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Change the name? Or mention something that Summer did or whatever, in a way that is undubitably doggy. Smile

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OnCeUpOnAtIm3Xo   View This User's Portfolio
Wants a fairy tale ending (:
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
yeah, i agree with twit.

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canislupis   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hmm, thanks! I'll keep those suggestions in mind.

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This thread was created on July 29, 2007

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