I'm here in bed, but my mind is still in that suffocating office cube at work.

You should work on showing rather than telling. The office cubicle might be suffocating, but don't just say suffocating and be done with it; rather, make the reader feel suffocated as you describe how the narrator's feeling so that they will arrive at the same conclusion, but will get more out of it along the way.

I wasn't expecting to find my husband there already, sipping some steamy liquid, hot chocolate, judging by the rich smell, and pouring over an old novel.

Why wasn't she expecting her husband to be there? Where else did she think that he would be? And unless the hot chocolate will be direly important to the rest of the story, you don't need to spend so much description on it. Concentrate on the things that are really important, and the person reading will as well.

Silently, in the doorway, I chuckle to myself. He was such a goofball.

You shouldn't need the "he was such a goofball" part; you should be able to infer that he's a goofball from the previous description.

And now, as I watch him in this peaceful state, it comes to mind and amazes me that with a simple smile, he can still make the earth shudder beneath my feet. I've heard so many times that relationships tended to die away after the ‘I do’s, but we are still holding strong, him and I. Still to this day, deep within those endless fudge eyes, I freely descend. Each time we share a gaze, I find myself willingly drowning in those dark orbs.

This seems so abstract where the rest was more concrete. Consistency is key. The husband's eyes are overdescribed, compared to food, called orbs, and the wife is drowning in them, all of which are very cliche. Try to past that and think of what's really happening.

"And neither is not speaking when you are spoken to." Damn. He did know.

"neither is not speaking" is a double negative, and as such, a bit confusing/wordy.

The couple was odd together at the end. The dialogue didn't seem to fit together, and the "the mind, my dear, is a terrible thing to waste" didn't make sense in context. I thought, in general, this chapter was all over the place and if you can focus on the story, not the romantic aspect, it could be better focused and a lovely sketch of a married couple.

That was such a cute story! I really liked the presence of it--I truly felt like I was there. The only part I could find that was wrong was how you mentioned at first how they were "so secure in love" and then she was wondering if he still loved her. Kinda conflicting/unbelievable emotions within 30 seconds, right?

Nice job, and hope you keep writing this type of stuff. So shweet. *sighs dreamily*1

Lovely! This is by-far the first romance-related article that does not sound cheesy nor immature that I've ever read! Though, I don't really get the "Nice how we can just take what we want." part. Oh well, ignorance is bliss, so, ignore me!

magnificent work, very well composed. you successfully made it clear that they were passionate about each other through very modest action, a skill that is not very common. all critiques have already been stated so there is not much for me to elaborate on. the ending was very sharp and crisp, left me impacted. fantastic work

Thanks again!

This is just remarkable. In that very short story,you were able to develop fully the characterization of your characters. you have a great command of tools in evoking who the characters were... nice use of dialogues--that is it is not too much nor too few. watch out the verbs' tenses, though. All in all,it was simply romantic!

Hey!
Well this piece was very enjoyable!! I was very cute and I'd like that it was about an older couple!
Can't wait to read more!!
Kelsi =)

Wow this really drew me. It reminded me of the kind of books I look for when I walk into a bookstore. I'm a sucker for young married couples and I LOVE the coffe shop aspect of it. In my book, one of the more minor characters owns a coffeeshop. Ironically, one of the larger scenes with him is the one I decided to post.

I did not pick up any grammatical errors, chiefly because I'm terrible at it myself. All I know is that it was absolutely fantastic to read and I really hope you keep going with it:))