“For once, mom, will you just listen to me?” Evelyn shouted at her mother.
“I always listen!”
“But you don’t hear me!”
“Evelyn," her mother said sternly, "you know I hear you!"
“Then what’s this argument about?” Evelyn crossed her arms and leaned back as her mother struggled to remember, after a good amount of time she shouted, “Exactly! This is kind of stuff I’m talking about!” Eve turned around and marched up the stairs.
“Don’t you walk away from me! Listen to me little girl-”
Eve stopped dead in her tracks, little? Oh no that was too far for her mom to go. She turned around and glared down at her, “little?! Mom I’m not little anymore! I’m going to the prom in two months! Even if you decide to not let me go! News flash mom, I’m not a 'little girl' anymore.”
“You think I don't know that?"
"Mom! I know you don't know that! You missed the last fifteen years of my life! How can you expect to know me?”
Her mom looked down shamefully.
“Yeah and mom, I don’t care what you think about my life with dad! You chose to walk out on us! What did you expect when you returned, a giant hug and tears? Why did you come back to begin with? Never mind I don't care! Go back to your boyfriend mom.”
Eve turned away from her mom and stormed upstairs; she slammed the door loudly behind her and flopped down on the bed. She didn’t know how long her mom would stay after that confrontation.
She must’ve fallen asleep because she was soon awakened by the vibration of her cell phone and the small ting of pebbles on her window.
The text message read, “Go to window.” She grinned and scurried over to the window. With the window open as far as it could go she stuck her top half out and waved at Jack.
“Hi!” she whispered to the black haired boy below. He looked remarkably like Daniel Radcliffe, a major bonus; of couse she didn't dare tell him that.
“Come on! Hurry up or we’ll be caught!” Jack smiled up at the red haired girl leaning out the window, she looked like Bonnie Wright, Ginny from the Harry Potter movies, of course he didn't dare tell her that.
She went to her door and locked it before returning to the window and climbing down. The porch made it much easier to get out, but the rails were still slippery from the rain that had fallen earlier.
Her foot slipped and so did her grip. Luckily Jack was waiting for her just below and broke her fall. Muffling their laughs they got back onto their feet. It took a while to push the motorcycle around the other side of the block, if they made too much noise it would wake up her parents.
"So how hard was it for you to sneak out?" she asked.
"Not that hard, mom and dad got back from a party and passed out in their room, they won't be awake until tomorrow when they have massive head aches."
"Did they ever think about taking one of those pills? The ones that don't get you hung over?"
"No they need the hangover to remember why they don't go out a lot."
"Oh right!"
They arrived at the night club. After they got the word “loser” stamped on their hands they went in. Immediately they were shoved onto the dance floor, which didn’t bother them at all, that’s what they went there for. They danced until their feet ached, and then went to get something to drink.
When Jack kissed her, she kissed back–forgetting that they were in a very public place. When they parted they were both breathless, which provided an awkward pause.
“Eve,” he said, “I love you.”
Shock filled her; she didn’t know what to say.
“Eve?” he asked, “Did you hear me.”
She nodded, “yeah I heard you.”
“Well,” he shrugged, “I just said ‘I love you’, do you have anything to say?”
“Thank-you?”
“That’s it?”
She nodded shamefully, “I’m sorry but… I don’t know what love feels like, I don’t think.” The pain in his eyes was unbearable to see.
“I think I should take you home now.” After he dropped her off in front of her house he drove away.
Weeks went by and they didn’t say a word to each other, and each day without voice was like pins in her arm, making her slowly bleed to death. She realized that she did love him, but doubted that he would listen to her.
So she wrote him a letter, a long letter expressing everything she felt for him. After class she slipped it into his bag.
When he was going through his bag looking for his homework he found a brightly colored pink envelope, sealed with a kiss. On the inside he found a letter.
Dear Jack,
I know you were being serious in the club the other week, and I’ve hated myself every night since. The truth is: I do love you. With every fiber of my being, I love you more than I love books, and you know how much I love books. I didn’t think you’d stick around to listen to me, so I decided to tell you via letter.
Now I have one thing to ask of you: will you go to the prom with me?
With my love,
Evelyn.
Jack read the letter over and over again, letting the words sink in. Three days to the prom, could he pull it off? He picked up the phone and dialed her number.
“Hello?” she said. And as her voice reached his ears, a realization dawned on him, three days to the prom was too long to wait.
“Hello Eve.”
“Jack? I didn’t think you’d ever want to talk to me again.”
“Honey, I could talk to you forever. So... did your mom leave yet?”
"She left last week."
He loved hearing her voice, it was like chocolate, and he couldn't get enough.
End.
Your pieces are always very interesting, and I like how you attempt to tackle drama in a refreshing way. But, there are still parts you can improve on. In this piece, the biggest problem is dialogue.
