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Chasing Sunsets
Chasing Sunsets

by niteowl in Other Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on May 30, 2007
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The Watcher(07)

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Night Mistress   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 11:56 pm    Post subject: The Watcher(07) Reply with quote

Elvina waded out of the river to her towel on the riverside. She wrapped the towel around her body, and then sorted out her clothing on the tree branch. She dried off, and then dressed in a white linen shirt and black leggings. She then slipped into her brown boots.

She gathered her things and walked back to her tent. She sat her stuff down on the table, and then took a seat in a chair and put her face in her hands.

I can’t let my feelings for Peter interfere with my job of protecting them,she thought.

She sighed and stood. She grabbed her bow and arrows and walked out of the tent. She walked to up the practice field; she stepped up onto a rock, high above the practice field.

Might as well practice my sniper skills,she thought.

She readied her bow and arrow and got ready to shoot until she saw the pevensies. She regarded them carefully, making sure that they were not in her range of fire.

Susan and Lucy stopped at one of the many targets on the field. Peter and Edmund were practicing their swordplay they had learned from Orieus.

Elvina let go of her arrow and let it fly, then hitting a target near Susan and Lucy, scaring them to death.

“What was that?” Susan asked.

“Look!” Lucy yelled, pointing to a rock with a person on it.

Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy looked at the rock. Elvina stood up.

“Hey, it’s Elvina.” Lucy said. Elvina walked away from the practice field.

I have to stay away from Peter for a while,she thought, even though it is my job to protect him.

She walked back to her tent and lay down for a bit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I wonder why Elvina left,” Lucy asked. “She could have help you on your archery.”

“Yes, she could have. Maybe she left because she wasn’t feeling well,” Susan answered.

“Why don’t I check on her?” asked Peter as he blocked a blow from Edmund. Susan put down her bow and arrows and looked at him.

“Peter, I’m going to ask a question that’s probably none of my business and will confuse you, but are you in love with Elvina?” asked Susan.

Peter stopped and looked at her.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you in love with Elvina?” Susan repeated.

Peter lowered his word and thought. Do I love Elvina? He thought, I have not been able to stop thinking about her ever since I met her.

“Maybe,” Peter muttered. “ I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her ever since we met her in the forest.”

“Some people call that falling in love, Peter,” Susan said.

“I know that, Susan, but I can’t tell her.” Peter said as he looked down.

“Why, Peter? I’m sure she’ll be thrilled that you love her,” Susan said

“Susan, her job is to protect us, not fall in love,” Peter said.

“Peter, Edmund,” said Beaver as he ran towards them.

“What?” they asked as he approached them.

“The White Witch has requested a meeting with Aslan and she is on her way,” he said.

“Come on,” Peter said to his siblings. They walked back to camp. They saw everyone gathering along the main walkway. The siblings pushed their way through the crowd.

Elvina looked out of the corner of her eyes to see that the siblings were coming up beside her.

“What’s going on?” Peter asked her.

“The white witch is coming.” Elvina said as she kept her head straight.

“Make way for the Queen of Narnia, Empress of the lone islands,” the black dwarf yelled as he made his way through the crowd. The white witch sat in her throne, and it was carried by her servants. They stopped in front of Aslan.

Jadis looked to the side and saw both Edmund and Elvina.

“Well, well, it’s been a long time,” she said to Elvina.

“Likewise,” Elvina said.

“Enough, Jadis, you came to speak to me, not her,” Aslan said.

“You’re right, of course.” She said. She looked back at Elvina. She smiled then turned and walked to Aslan.

Elvina clenched her fist to control her temper.

“You have a traitor among you,” Jadis said. The crowd murmured.

“His offense wasn’t against you,” Aslan said.

“Have you forgotten the Deep Magic? You must remember that all traitors go to me,” Jadis stated.

“Don’t state the Deep Magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written,” Aslan growled.

“Well then you remember that the blood of the traitor is mine and if I don’t have it then all of Narnia will perish in fire and water,” Jadis said loudly for all of Narnia to hear. She pointed to Edmund. “That boy will die on the Stone Table.”

“Try and take him then,” Peter said as he drew his sword and pointed it at her.

“Force can’t deny me of my right, little king.” She sneered. “Of course, this wouldn’t have happened if the watcher had done her job correctly.” She turned her attention on Elvina. Elvina narrowed her eyes.

“Enough, I’ll speak to you private,” Aslan said. They walked to his tent and disappeared.

Elvina walked away from the crowd. As she walked away, she felt the eyes of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy on her.

She went back to her tent and sat in her bed of pillows and silk.

“What have I done?” she whispered to her self as tears came to her eyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter hated seeing Elvina blaming herself for Edmund. She had made up for it by rescuing his brother, if that was the case.

He walked towards her tent and stopped at the opening. He heard, “What have I done?” and a sob. That broke his heart.

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he said as he entered her tent.

She looked up. “How can you say that when your brother could be facing his death because of me?” she said as she stood.

“It was his fault, not yours, that he went to the white witch.” He said as walked closer to her. He reached out and held her face in his hands. She could feel his breath against her lips.

“It’s not your fault,” He whispered before closing the space in between them, putting his lips against hers.

Elvina’s eyes widened with shock then drifted shut. She let herself enjoy the kiss. Peter moved his hands away from her face to her slender waist. Elvina pulled away.

“We can’t,” she said as she pulled away from him completely.

“Why?” he asked. “Why can’t we?”

“Please go, just go,” She said as she ignored his question and tears came to her eyes. Peter looked hopeless.

“We’ll talk again,” He said before he left.

She broke down, crying.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, sad. You seem to have a thing for romance. Wink

Anyway, good writing, and there was just one thing that could be improved:

NM wrote:
“Are you in love with Elvina?” Susan repeated.


Remember that she is his sister, and this is - presumabley - the first time anything like this has happened. Make Susan a bit more diffident about statting Peter's feelings. More shy. Like, "Do you....like Elvina, Peter?"

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