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This thread was created on May 21, 2007

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theron guard
Senior Writer

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Age: 15
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Country: An old reclusive stone house - built on a cherry orchard in 1803
300 Points

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:21 pm Post subject:

OK, heres my drift. It was very good, one of the few stories I actually read (I usually read poems because I can stay awake long enough to finish ) Like you said, it was a little strange, but in some cases, like this one, strange can be a good thing. I didn't see any mistakes, although I don't know why you think spying is perverted (not that I see that as a mistake), and I don't know how anyone cannot be addicted to doughnuts! TG
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miyaviloves
Love me less but love me a long time.
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356 Points

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 7:44 pm Post subject:

I nearly missed this! And yes a little strange but that's what makes it good, original! I love the style of you're writing, its mature yet also quite laid back so it's easy to read. Not many writers can get that combination right! Meevs x
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Sumi H. Inkblot
can divide by zero
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 1:48 pm Post subject:

miyaviloves wrote:

I nearly missed this! And yes a little strange but that's what makes it good, original!
I love the style of you're writing, its mature yet also quite laid back so it's easy to read. Not many writers can get that combination right!

0_0

That's the best compliment I've ever received on my writing! :sobs hysterically: Thank you! :hugs:

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JFW1415
Team SPEW
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:17 am Post subject:

I really love this! How you keep fitting in the dougnut thing is really cool. Also, now I'm starting to remember who's who (which is amazing for me,) and you're finally telling us their powers! Does the General use his power to control the others? And is he mean, or when he calls them jerks and stuff (in the other chapters,) is he just joking? Well, off to read the next two!

Leja
Slightly more inclined to writing than previously
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 6:27 pm Post subject:

Things I've mentioned in other chapters still apply, like info blocks and such. Yeah, it's a bit of an odd chapter, but no worries. That's what makes it fun to read. Is the last line going to be elaborated upon? It would be pretty cool if it came back later, but up until now, it doesn't really do too much.
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This thread was created on May 21, 2007	Young Writers Society Forum Index » Action/Adventure Fiction	All times are GMT
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This thread was created on May 21, 2007

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