Just a week ago, I was walking back to the classroom, feeling empty and rather lonesome after being reprimanded by my teacher. Bitterly I shuffled back to class.

On the way, I met several friends, they knew of my predicament and consoled me. I just went "Nah, it's nothing" when really, it did hurt a little more than expected. Then, a small, fair-skinned girl walked past me, smiling. I smiled back, recognising her. She was Wei Qi, a pupil from the class next door. I had met her before, though not often. Occasionally, I would mumble a "hi" or something as she walked past. Sometimes, I didn't think she heard it. But it was always pleasant to watch her in her childish demeanour, rushing up and down the stairs. I had never been in her class, and we barely talked. In fact, I knew next to nothing about her. Anyway, I walked back to class feeling better, and read my book until I felt it was time to go. That's all.

In case you're wondering, this isn't the end of the story, of course.

I often wonder, what is life after death? Would it be longer, or tougher than the lives we are currently struggling to lead? Well, in any case, this is what happened today:

I sat at my desk, waiting for my computer screen to load. Ever sinceit broke down last year, it never seemed to recover fully from its illness. Anyway, I logged on my MSN account. What I saw surprised me to a certain extent.

"Rest in peace, Wei Qi."

I scrolled down.

"May the Lord watch over her."

I scrolled further down.

"That's how fragile life is. We'll miss you."

There, on my screen, were contacts whose personal messages read "Love you always, Wei Qi" or "We'll miss you" or "Rest in peace, Wei Qi".

Anyone could have guessed what had happened, but it was so shocking, I don't think anyone could have believed it at first sight. Horrified, I IM-ed y friend: "Hey! What happened to Wei Qi?"

I waited. Moments passed. After a minute or so, a message finally appeared.

"She passed away..."

I could not believe it. Passed... passed away? Just like that? You've got to be joking! She seemed perfectly healthy to me. Confusion aside, I typed in a message and hurriedly clicked on "Enter": "How did it happen?"

"She had a tumour in a reproductive organs and her brain."

I was shocked - I had expected a car accident of some sort.

"Her brain started bleeding and couldn't stop."

My hand shot up to my mouth as my vision blurred. I managed to catch the last sentence:

"And she never woke up again ):"

My heart was beating so fast, it must have been irregular. Oh my God, Oh my God, this isn't true, I was telling myself. But the more I did so, the deeper the truth sank in. I left the computer screen for a while, absorbing the harsh, cold truth. I could not stop the tears. When I got back, my friend had IM-ed me:

"Are you okay?"

I typed in "Yeah" and started crying again.

"Are you crying? I couldn't stop crying when I got the news."

"Ys" I hastily entered in to the conversation. "*yed". "Yes." I could not type properly. After that, I learnt that her funeral had been held that day, and I had missed it. Great, I thought, and sobbed further at the thought of Wei Qi's departure. I was determined to attend the service and cremation tomorrow, though. Wei Qi, how should I forgive myself for not being able to send you off your final journey. I knew about it only so late, that Sunday afternoon. And she had left on a Saturday morning.

I grabbed the tissue box and practically stuffed my face with it. No, I just could not believe it. I proceeded to visit a few of my friends blogs, reading their messages to Wei Qi.

It hurts to know that someone, a possible future friend and companion, someone you see occasionally in the corridor, someone who was a cheerful young girl with big aspirations, had left our world. Just thirteen years, and she had to leave us.

These are some of what I read, and cried when I read. Her dear friends and family, they must be feeling worse than I.

"Saturday, January 27, 2007

9:37 PM

i cant beileve she's gone. just like that. i can't believe it. i didn't believe it when i got the call. i cried. it hurts, to know that she's not gonna come back anymore.

i remember this time when we were in oneeleven. we were sitting on the classroom floor in a circle sharing, and she was telling us about this woman who God saved through a miracle. why didn't God save her life like that too? i don't know, maybe i never will. i wish she didn't die. if only. she was so cheerful and brave, and she always knew what to say. she never gave up, and she knew who her saviour was and she carried His joy through every bit of her soul.

i guess i just have to trust that God knows why everything happened, and that she's with Him in heaven now rejoicing. that He has a plan for her, that it all meant something. that her family will be alright, that He carries them in His arms like a shepherd carries his lambs.

christina said you shouldn't be sad when your friends go to heaven.

i am. until i see her in heaven again, i'll be missing her.

God bless your soul, Wei Qi. "

and more:

"Things accentuate themselves when something happens:

the superficial things seem more superficial,

the city noise seems more devoid of sound,

the things people can spend their lives on seem so much more meaningless.

And then you think, anything can happen, really anything can happen.

And then exclamation marks seem so, so immensely out of place.

But I guess, life has to go on.

We take the lessons out of the sadness, and move on. Hopefully appreciating the people around us more, appreciating life more, appreciating God more.

Pray for Wei Qi's family. "

and words that unleashed my tears:

"It was just too sudden.

I just don't believe it. It had to come, for everyone. Why this early?

We take things for granted, such that I can't even believe what has just happened.

How is it possible that she's gone? That she won't be there anymore day after day? I can't understand but I know I have to somehow. Death to me was just something that happens in drama serials, until now. I have never experienced a loved one dying so I can't understand the pain and understand how and why. So I guess it's harder for me now. I don't know what I feel.

I was never close to her, but now she's gone, it's hard to understand.

What's going on? Becky and now this? It's hard to believe it. Just too hard.

And I'm still asking myself the same question. Why is this happening?

I don't understand. Maybe it takes time. Maybe I never will.

It's just too hard to believe. One day she was there, the next day she wasn't.

Be free Weiqi, be happy.

She's not gone, she's still there in our hearts."

and all of us know this:

"You'll be in our hearts, always.

Even though you've left for Heaven,

we know you're safe in God's arms."

Rest in peace, Wei Qi. Your journey doesn't end here.

May the angels give you wings to soar

May the gods bestow you their mighty roar

And you will always be part of our prayers,

We'll meet you again at Heaven's door.

Thank you for being the speck of humanity that sparkled so brightly, like a star in a lonely night sky, and thanks you for bringing us the warmth and joy that no one would ever be able to replace.

We will always love you, Wei Qi.