Topic ID: 12893
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Alanna
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 Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 1:05 am Post subject: Questions |
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Why did you turn?
Why did you let me burn?
Why did you go? Cause I love you so.
Who are you? |
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Loose
Such is life.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 5:58 am Post subject: |
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| im lucy, who are you? |
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Shine
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| Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 9:51 am Post subject: |
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Alanna wrote:Why did you turn?
Why did you let me burn?
Why did you go? Cause I love you so.
Who are you? |
The first four lines had some kind of a story,the readers could link them,but the last line was meaningless or may be I couldn't get the meaning.
Keep writing!  |
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Vernon
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| Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Something that could make this better is too answer the questions. It just seems like a set of questions right now not poetry. You should put something that give us it a from, because as i said it just like questions right now not poetry |
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Alanna
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| Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 4:36 am Post subject: |
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| Well this was based on questions that Anakin Skywalker,Obi-Wan Kenobi,Tahiri Veila,and Han Solo might ask.The one awnser is Anakin Solo's. Tahiriand Anakin are expanded universe characters as is the recipient of Han's question Jacen Solo his only living son. |
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Suzanne
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| Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:59 am Post subject: |
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So you wrote a poem about...star wars? *is very confused*
As a poem it is a...bad poem. People read poetry in hopes of being able to take away some emotion, be it happiness, sadness, or surprise.
This just leaves one...wondering what was going on when it got written. Questions are never good poetry; at least not when that is all there is.... |
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Incandescence
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| Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:24 am Post subject: |
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Alanna:
What is this?
Go away.
Best,
Brad |
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Snoink
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| Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:31 am Post subject: |
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This seems to be more of an outline for a poem than anything. Try to add on to it more. For example, for me the questions are not that important. For me, what is important is why the questions are asked in the first place. So keep this as an outline, but expand it more and give reasons to why the questions are asked.
And make this a little more to do with Star Wars. Right now, your fandom of it is iffy, at best.  |
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Alanna
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| Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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Go It.
Lanna |
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