Literary Comments of Yent's Work
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free flow
Review by Juniper in Lyric Poetry
Review written on Jan 19, 2009; 12:15 am
Hey there Yent, Welcome to YWS. I'm June, so nice to meet you.
We have a 2:1 policy here which simply means that before you post one piece of your work, you should have reviewed two things by someone else.
Now, for your critique :).
Okay! So, I see how it's mostly uncapitalized. Perfect; that sets a certain tone for the reader. However, you capitalize the noun Freddy Kreuger . I'm pointing that out because in writing, the pronoun I should always be capitalized, especially if you capitalize a noun, or another...
free flow
Review by Hannah in Lyric Poetry
Review written on Jan 19, 2009; 12:07 am
Aside from the lack of full-stops in this poem, which I think should be remedied to make it more readable, I have just a few comments. ^_^
behind the fish-faced shower curtain, too many pastels,
Alright, I assume you mean that the shower curtain has fish faces on it? Yes? No? I just don't think 'fish-faced' is a good way to describe a shower curtain. Perhaps 'a shower curtain covered with too many pastel fish faces' ? Or was the reference to pastels referring to the bathroom as a whole?
too far from the toilet to the door that my brother...