Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Young Writers Society
News:  

Must Read: No Chat-Speak

Happy Thanksgiving!
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
The Elephant Boy {seventeen}
The Elephant Boy {seventeen}

by Kylan in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Narrative Poetry

This thread was created on December 6, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic
Digg It Del.icio.us


Stamps of Upside Down

Topic ID: 6235
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
ConvolutedEmpty   View This User's Portfolio
Writer

13
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Posts: 97
Reviews: 13
Country: utopia, the rainbow flavoured version
300 Points

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 1:38 am    Post subject: Stamps of Upside Down Reply with quote

Zakei’s took off in a stoner’s hippie van, his only bag cow’s clothing, echo.



A toothbrush, a bathing suit, some underwear



a couple of twenty-dollar bills.



His black trenchcoat, filled with american and canadian pennies, controversy, stilleto heel cigars, and stamps of upside down.



Useless unless he wanted to converse in pen with MC Escher, bless his twisted, confused heart.



Started off on dirty paths watching dirty fields run by, to touch the brown in the sky



Oh, he loved his chocolate world, he liked it dark with hazelnut



Ended in city life where women with warm mouths had cold hearts and eyes like winter sky



Sang him lullabies that only tramps can sing



The words are broken, all unseeing, off tune and squeaky clean



He made his life in cheap potato chip crumbs in-the-sheets motels



Rolling over brown wool with beautiful people in ugly lives



Pale limbs and dark sweat, sweet mouths with bitter tears



And plastic lies ; the lullabies that woman sang with winter eyes



Ended in Italia, a city of hot inhales and fierce white exhales



The women watched him like cats watched mice desire in eyes like coal

The bellas of italia ; all long legs and scented smoke



And murmurs like not so beatles after all music



All empty promises and lies like lullabies the woman wore their winter eyes like revlon envy



Smelling chardonnay on ms.italia’s breath



Her tongue was sour lemonade



That tongue she used to sing a lullaby, watching him



With winter eyes, as she took time



To spread her legs, and show him he was welcome



The silken garters wounded the woolen sheets of a dying mattress



Long way from home, on grimy foreign streets with crumbs between his jeans and ass



The cowboy boots coming apart



But they looked good



On twiggy boy



The only boy



That could look good, with his long legs and scented smoke and chardonnay lemonade tongue singing lullabies, in painted revlon envy



Saying goodbye



he kissed her with his winter eyes



she said they looked like sky.





wrote this a few months ago, before joining YWS, 'bout a character of mine

_________________
Words are spilling out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass. They slip away across the universe... Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind possessing and caressing me..
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Whatsarahsaid   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

53
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 144
Reviews: 53
Country: england.
300 Points

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amazing. I can scarcely type, this is the best thing I have read in sometime.

You are everthing I could hope to be... Love your style.

"he kissed her with his winter eyes

she said they looked like sky. "

_________________
Alice♥
"stay up all night with the stars."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
ConvolutedEmpty   View This User's Portfolio
Writer

13
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 18
Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Posts: 97
Reviews: 13
Country: utopia, the rainbow flavoured version
300 Points

PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, you're so nice. There should be more commenters like you at YWS!

_________________
Words are spilling out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass. They slip away across the universe... Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind possessing and caressing me..
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Whatsarahsaid   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

53
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 144
Reviews: 53
Country: england.
300 Points

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 8:55 pm    Post subject: actually... Reply with quote

Well actually, I'm sure I'm breaking a rule or too.....

_________________
Alice♥
"stay up all night with the stars."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Snoink   View This User's Portfolio
Snuggly
Writer of Legend

2139
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8725
Reviews: 2139
Country: USA
2087 Points

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reminds me of the show, "Lonely Planet" which has since been called "Globetrekkers." Basically? See the world!

Yeah..

The images were interesting. I have no idea about the meaning of the poem (my mind isn't working tonight) but it reminds me of traveling. And reading of foreign places in different languages. Smile

I have to say though, this by far was the most "wow! pay attention!" moment of the poem:

"To spread her legs, and show him he was welcome."

XD I'm such a perv...

_________________
"So, Obama calls McCain erratic. Well, I call Obama a squirrel." -- Rush Limbaugh

Video Critiques by Yours Truly. Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on December 6, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic
   Young Writers Society Forum Index » Narrative Poetry All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on December 6, 2005

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones. - John Cage
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society