Topic ID: 3852
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| Is this good for Yoshi's first song? |
| Nope |
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15% |
[ 2 ] |
| Yes |
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84% |
[ 11 ] |
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| Total Votes : 13 |
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| Author |
Message |
Armadian
Greggles Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1270 Reviews: 154 Country: The Digital World. 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: Eternity |
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*Yoshi's first crack at lyrics*Ok ALex or Teodorelispelle sent me a song for noteworthy composer and i made the lyrics YAY!
Since the Start
You and I were Friends
Always and forever.
Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
Wish we could last
Always and forever.
_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
---------
I was always there
Lurking in the shadows
I am so sorry
For all that’s happened
In your life
Its all been me
I AM SORRY!!
Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
Wish we could last
Always and forever.
_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
This is Truely Eternity. |
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Jennafina
browncoat Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 2200 Reviews: 617 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I think its good, I dont know why no one else has comented. The chorus is a little repetiive, but im sure it doesn't sound that way when its sang. |
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Jennafina
browncoat Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 2200 Reviews: 617 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Your poll looks good too, lol |
_________________ "As idle as a painted ship, upon a painted ocean. There's no wind, Mr. Bracegirdle. We are becalmed."
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Elizabeth
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 3023 Reviews: 1160 Country: If I told you I would have to kill you 300 Points
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Teeeeo.
Speaker of the Forum
 Gender:  Age: 89 Joined: 28 Mar 2005 Posts: 548 Reviews: 109
300 Points
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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DUH Eternity - Memory of Lightwaves!
You made LYRICS for it? Weird...
I tried this on the Noteworthy and it didn't seem right... Probably singin' it wrong... But still I like it! |
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Armadian
Greggles Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1270 Reviews: 154 Country: The Digital World. 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| YAY! |
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Elizabeth
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 3023 Reviews: 1160 Country: If I told you I would have to kill you 300 Points
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Armadian
Greggles Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1270 Reviews: 154 Country: The Digital World. 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Lol Liz get on you have some explaing to do....hehe. |
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Turnstiles
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 20 Reviews: 7 Country: New Hampshire 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:11 pm Post subject: Re: Eternity |
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Since the Start
You and I were Friends
Always and forever.
Nice, I like the sweetness and the simplicity of it.
Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
To be honest, I think that this verse would be used to reflect on "happier times". This would add more feeling to the rest of the verses, as well as the next two lines, as it would give the listener something to compare them to.
Wish we could last
Always and forever.
I like it, but like I said, it would have more of an effect if the previous verse was used as reflection.
_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
Yes, it's repetitive, but the line "Rest in peace please" is really good. I'm sure it would sound great when put to music.
I was always there
Lurking in the shadows
I am so sorry
For all that’s happened
In your life
Its all been me
I AM SORRY!!
Good, but I think you should explain this a little more.
Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
Again, I'd advise replacing this verse, only this time use it to elaborate on "for all that's happened in your life". Even if it seems a little short, it will give us a better understanding of exactly what is going on here.
Wish we could last
Always and forever.
_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
This is Truely Eternity.
Nice ending
This is excellent for your first song (and the poll clearly agrees with me ). Nice work! |
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Joey
Guest
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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Great going, kid! i COULD even select you to be my lyricist(Jus'kiddin').
Anyway, for your first song, this is simply smashing. |
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Griffinkeeper
Storybook Godfather Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3776 Reviews: 660 Country: USA 324 Points
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Hey Joe, why don't you join YWS? It's really easy. |
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Teeeeo.
Speaker of the Forum
 Gender:  Age: 89 Joined: 28 Mar 2005 Posts: 548 Reviews: 109
300 Points
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Anyone want the MIDI or NWC file for this song? So that you can hear the song to place the lyrics? PM me if you want it! |
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Tazy
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 85 Reviews: 37 Country: Melbourne, Australia 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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| It had a lot of emotion i loved it imensley |
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Matt Bellamy
Tech Monkey Master of the Forum


Age: 20 Joined: 08 Dec 2004 Posts: 1759 Reviews: 257 Country: England 300 Points
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zelithon
Official Bestest Like my avatar? me too Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 1004 Reviews: 241 Country: the land of fruits and nuts AKA California 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow! |
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