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This thread was created on October 20, 2005
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Topic ID: 5304
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niteowl
I'm an ol' king bee, honey, Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 3896 Reviews: 363 Country: somewhere in America 391 Points
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:33 pm Post subject: Breakdown |
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Familiar darkness
Clouding my mind
When I least expect it.
It's happened too many times.
It whispers in my ear
That I'm a failure at life,
And that I could run away
And they wouldn't care that I've gone.
But it's wrong
'Cause you would
Yeah you would
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That it's your duty to stay...
AND WATCH THE CRAZY GIRL BREAK DOWN!!!
CHORUS:
Go ahead, ask if I'm okay.
I don't need your fake sympathy anyway
I'm crying and screaming
Over nothing all
And I'll be just fine
In an hour or so
So why can't you just let me go!?!?
Everyone rushes over
To see if I'm alright.
They ignore me when I'm
Semi-normal all the time
They all act like
They know what I'm going through.
But they can't understand
The crazy way that I am.
But they try
Yeah they try
But not because
They really love me.
They just feel that
It's their duty to help...
THE CRAZY GIRL THAT'S BREAKING DOWN!!!
(Repeat Chorus)
Just when I want to be invisible,
You finally notice me.
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!!
(Repeat Chorus) |
_________________ "You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
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"Whoever said senior year was easier than junior year lied through their teeth" A friend of mine |
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Harley
awkward and innocent. Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 518 Reviews: 241 Country: scotland. 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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YAY! I like this- strikes a blow for crazy girls everywhere, especially this part:
| Quote: |
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!! |
I might have to steal those lines  |
_________________ inspiration. imagination. creativity. |
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marching_gurl89
your unoffical liberal talking history book Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1067 Reviews: 38 Country: i think i'm supposed to be somewhere.well if i cant remember it can't be that important 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I love the lyrics. It is cool. You know Nite you are a really good writer. |
_________________ ~*~Peace, Love, and Protesters~*~
I'm not off beat!I'm marching to the beat of my own drum
I rock my socks
Hippielicious the bold new flavor from caroline
JFK BLOWN AWAY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!! |
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MaitrePrinceRebel
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 40 Reviews: 9 Country: Scotland 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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Thats pish...am I the only one honest enough to admit that? I wont just leave you with this... I think its bad for several reasons..
1.Go ahead, ask if I'm okay.
I don't need your fake sympathy anyway
I'm crying and screaming
Over nothing all
And I'll be just fine
In an hour or so
So why can't you just let me go!?!?
Everyone rushes over
To see if I'm alright.
They ignore me when I'm
Semi-normal all the time
They all act like
They know what I'm going through.
But they can't understand
The crazy way that I am.
But they try
Yeah they try
But not because
They really love me.
They just feel that
It's their duty to help...
THE CRAZY GIRL THAT'S BREAKING DOWN!!!
Well its just so bloody cliché...theres nothing about it that says "oh my god she's really feeling this stuff" its bad...
You need to just think about it..the structures cack...the lyrics just dont convey or emphasize this crazy girl ..
that youre so dearly trying to let us see...I suppose this is a bit harsh..overall it does suck but you have stuff in
there that you could use to rewrite if you want to..keep trying I suppose but dont bet all your hopes on this one..
(Repeat Chorus)
Just when I want to be invisible,
You finally notice me.
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!!
(Repeat Chorus)
sorry but it just does not do it for me in the song department...lyrically I cant relate to it and I cant imagine it as a song...have you got music for it?
Bah..Im sorry :S
Bella xx |
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| This thread was created on October 20, 2005 |
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Bartemius says, All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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