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by Incandescence in Other Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Narrative Poetry

This thread was created on May 12, 2005
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the day, when back was in
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filmcanister   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2005 1:51 am    Post subject: the day, when back was in Reply with quote

there once was a mongolian barbecue 

where two old ladies sat in their rocking chairs to drink steam tea 

every afternoon, it was predictable 

and the townspeople set their clocks 

to the rhythm of the chairs going back and forth, to and fro, 

to the precise moment they called noon when 

the old backs reclined again and paper lips 

reached down to levitating teabags in steam 



they called themselves molly and polly and sonny and bunny 

though there were only two 



at the front of the bbq there was a gate with a rainbow pride flag 

but this was all in the time before anybody had carved the name 

gilgamesh into boulders and so one must assume that the 

rainbow pride flag 

was somewhat out of place, so perhaps there wasn’t one at all, really 

it doesn’t matter because gays have always been around, you see, 

but there was a flag 



and it had a symbol on it, perhaps like crashing symbols in the back 

of underappreicated symphonies 

but it doesn’t matter because there have always been homosexuals 

and the old ladies drank tea and ate roasted pork every day 

at noon, staring at this deeply symbolic flag 



you see, they were sisters and brothers and cousins, they were the world 

and they called themselves uncle time and father wind and cousin flag 

because in their senility, believed their womanly tendencies to be male 

and that they were one with colored pieces of fabric and that 

there were an infinite number of each of them, molly and polly and sonny and bunny all four 



the porch was made of floppy disks that didn’t work anymore 

so they nailed them right into the porch, 

and to the roof of the bbq 

who would have guessed, and corks too 

they loved corks 

they would go to wine galas just to get the corks that they 

kept in the hollow skin of a llama who was once known as sally, but was eaten 

by the bbq mongrels and senile infinates 

but, you see, they loved this cork collecting idea and in their 

spare rocking time between sips of steam they thrust out old english words that 

described their booming business of cork jewelry 

which was aimed at vegetarians, because you and I both know that 

vegetarians all really do love cork, way down deep inside 

it doesn’t matter, though 

because there have always been homosexuals 



back to the hollow llama, sally, she was a homosexual llama 

but this is not to say that all llamas are homosexual 

or that all homosexuals are llamas, quite to the contrary 

she loved another llama named joanne 

and back in the days of their non-hollowed youth they would sit 

on porches and eat steamed grass and talk 

about their factories and fantasies 

joanne is hollow, now, too, and they keep her in the shed because the vegetarians 

staged a protest during the symphony 

and the homosexuals all started flossing in tandem 

and it was all very unpleasant and molly and polly and sonny and bunny 

still talk about it every now and again 



nobody knew why there was a mongolian barbecue 

when mongolia didn’t even exist, but the food was good 

and even the vegetarians had a llama or two 

every now and again, you see, it was that good 

and sometimes they had a side of cork, if they were feeling up to it 

every now and again 



molly and polly and sonny and bunny all four 

finished their steam tea and called it a night 

when the sun set behind the bbq and sally was silhouetted 

against the setting sun, because there have always been 



homosexuals.
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PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2005 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was kind of long, so I skimmed over some parts of it. I like how you kept bringing up certain points in the poem, but some of them kind of got too repetitive.
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PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2005 4:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it. Great idea, great tone. Good work.

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PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2005 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read the entire thing aloud, and I was completely lost. What did it have to do with homosexuals? Why was that brought up? Why was everything because there have always been homosexuals?

And, of course, why don't I get it?
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, the first stanza was enjoyable. It had great descriptions and made sense to me.

The rest was a blur.

I didn't get the third stanza. I think I understand the rainbow colored flag - the rainbow represents gays, I believe. But why would Gilgamesh's name be carved into anything?

You mention "bbq" quite a lot. I take that to mean "barbecue," but it would be less confusing if you wrote the word out instead of abbreviating.

Quote:
I read the entire thing aloud, and I was completely lost. What did it have to do with homosexuals? Why was that brought up? Why was everything because there have always been homosexuals?

PsyLynx, you're not alone. Why were the homosexuals brought up? You can only talk about homosexuals if you do so in a civilized manner, which you do - about half the time. The way it's written, you just seem to have thrown in homosexuals for the sake of "oh, hell, why not?" Please correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the way it came across to me.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You guys make poetry so hard.

This poem was great, read it again and see if you understand it. It does make sense.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Confusing but compelling...possibly because it's confusing!
But kind of groovy at the same time.
One question...are you gay?!

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This thread was created on May 12, 2005

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