Topic ID: 4695
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Snoink
Snuggly
Writer of Legend
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8716
Reviews: 2137
Country: USA
Points
|
 Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:19 am Post subject: Flesh this out |
 |
|
This is some dialogue. Flesh it out however you want. Just don't change the dialogue.
"Mother, I am going to die."
"You are going to die?"
"I am going to die."
"l'll call the doctor."
"Doctor, my daughter says she is going to die."
"She is going to die?"
"Yes she is going to die."
"I'll be there in a minute."
Knock knock.
"Doctor, my daughter says she is going to die."
"She is going to die?"
"Yes, I am going to..." Thump. |
_________________
"So, Obama calls McCain erratic. Well, I call Obama a squirrel." -- Rush Limbaugh
Video Critiques by Yours Truly.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Rei
E.A. Extraordinaire
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 3140
Reviews: 685
Country: Canada
Points
|
| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Fascinating. What was going through your mind when you did that? |
_________________
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Snoink
Snuggly
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8716
Reviews: 2137
Country: USA
Points
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Oh, it's not mine. It's a skit. You act out different moods. Sometimes it's a comedy, sometimes it's a drama, depending how you act it out. So... I thought it might be a cool writing activity. |
_________________
"So, Obama calls McCain erratic. Well, I call Obama a squirrel." -- Rush Limbaugh
Video Critiques by Yours Truly. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Samuel Garrison
God Save the King!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 27
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 1649
Reviews: 297
Country: Native Vermonter.
Points
|
| Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 10:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I couldn't help but laugh at that Snoink. The dialogue sounded so casual, then the "thump" caused me to burst out laughing.
I'll try and give this a go a little later on. Good job, though. |
_________________
PM me if you have added me to a messeging service, otherwise the invitation'll be blocked.
230th F&I Commemeration; Fort Ti, 2007 |
|
| Back to top |
|
Jennafina
it's not you, it's Utah
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Posts: 2205
Reviews: 617
Country: USA
Points
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
"Mother," Betsy called, entering her mother's bedroom, "I am going to die."
Mother observed her, unamused. "You are going to die?"
"I am going," Betsy repeated, slowly and patiently, "to die."
"l'll call the doctor." Mother glumly put down her knitting, and picked up the phone. "Doctor, my daughter says she is going to die."
The doctor's voice sounded harried. "She is going to die?"
"Yes," Mother answered, glairing at her daughter. "She is going to die."
"I'll be there in a minute."
Knock knock. It was several minutes later, and Betsy was sitting stiffly in her mother's chair. She did look rather pale, but Mother assumed it was special effects. The things kids could do with makeup nowdays.
"Doctor, my daughter says she is going to die."
"She is going to die?" The doctor was worried. If the mother was right, this was one messed up family. She was too calm. It unnerved him. He prooded Betsy with his thermometer. She answered.
"Yes, I am going to..." Thump.
Hehehe that was fun. |
_________________
"As idle as a painted ship, upon a painted ocean. There's no wind, Mr. Bracegirdle. We are becalmed."
Storybook Writers' Guild
Nate for '08! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
