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Guess?
by Light_Devil in Romantic Fiction |
This thread was created on October 20, 2005
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Breakdown
Topic ID: 5304
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niteowl
I Need a Better Custom Title
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 18
Joined: 28 Nov 2004
Posts: 3980
Reviews: 389
Country: somewhere in America
1173 Points
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 Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:33 pm Post subject: Breakdown |
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Familiar darkness
Clouding my mind
When I least expect it.
It's happened too many times.
It whispers in my ear
That I'm a failure at life,
And that I could run away
And they wouldn't care that I've gone.
But it's wrong
'Cause you would
Yeah you would
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That it's your duty to stay...
AND WATCH THE CRAZY GIRL BREAK DOWN!!!
CHORUS:
Go ahead, ask if I'm okay.
I don't need your fake sympathy anyway
I'm crying and screaming
Over nothing all
And I'll be just fine
In an hour or so
So why can't you just let me go!?!?
Everyone rushes over
To see if I'm alright.
They ignore me when I'm
Semi-normal all the time
They all act like
They know what I'm going through.
But they can't understand
The crazy way that I am.
But they try
Yeah they try
But not because
They really love me.
They just feel that
It's their duty to help...
THE CRAZY GIRL THAT'S BREAKING DOWN!!!
(Repeat Chorus)
Just when I want to be invisible,
You finally notice me.
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!!
(Repeat Chorus) |
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Harley
awkward and innocent.
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 518
Reviews: 241
Country: scotland.
300 Points
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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YAY! I like this- strikes a blow for crazy girls everywhere, especially this part:
| Quote: |
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!! |
I might have to steal those lines  |
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inspiration. imagination. creativity. |
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marching_gurl89
your unoffical liberal talking history book
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 1067
Reviews: 38
Country: i think i'm supposed to be somewhere.well if i cant remember it can't be that important
300 Points
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I love the lyrics. It is cool. You know Nite you are a really good writer. |
_________________
~*~Peace, Love, and Protesters~*~
I'm not off beat!I'm marching to the beat of my own drum
I rock my socks
Hippielicious the bold new flavor from caroline
JFK BLOWN AWAY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!! |
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MaitrePrinceRebel
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 40
Reviews: 9
Country: Scotland
300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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Thats pish...am I the only one honest enough to admit that? I wont just leave you with this... I think its bad for several reasons..
1.Go ahead, ask if I'm okay.
I don't need your fake sympathy anyway
I'm crying and screaming
Over nothing all
And I'll be just fine
In an hour or so
So why can't you just let me go!?!?
Everyone rushes over
To see if I'm alright.
They ignore me when I'm
Semi-normal all the time
They all act like
They know what I'm going through.
But they can't understand
The crazy way that I am.
But they try
Yeah they try
But not because
They really love me.
They just feel that
It's their duty to help...
THE CRAZY GIRL THAT'S BREAKING DOWN!!!
Well its just so bloody cliché...theres nothing about it that says "oh my god she's really feeling this stuff" its bad...
You need to just think about it..the structures cack...the lyrics just dont convey or emphasize this crazy girl ..
that youre so dearly trying to let us see...I suppose this is a bit harsh..overall it does suck but you have stuff in
there that you could use to rewrite if you want to..keep trying I suppose but dont bet all your hopes on this one..
(Repeat Chorus)
Just when I want to be invisible,
You finally notice me.
I'm a living breathing
Freak show in a cage
Pay 5 bucks admission
And watch me cry and scream
And rant and rave.
And you watch
Yeah you watch
But not because
You really love me
But because you feel
That you need to see...
THAT YOU'RE COOLER THAN THAT CRAZY GIRL!!!
(Repeat Chorus)
sorry but it just does not do it for me in the song department...lyrically I cant relate to it and I cant imagine it as a song...have you got music for it?
Bah..Im sorry :S
Bella xx |
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| This thread was created on October 20, 2005 |
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