I woke suddenly, pleased with myself for sleeping the rest of the night dreamlessly. I swung my legs over the bed and walked to the bathroom. I ran cold water over my face and dried with my personalized soft white towel, a gift from my mother. It was peacefully quiet, no honking cars, no screaming people, just tranquility which was uncommon in Richmondsville. The sun shone brightly through the window. lighting up the entire house. The birds tweeted happily and squirrels played in my front lawn. Sighing heavily, I felt less alone, the suburbian house felt less empty. I went into the kitchen and turned on the television to the news. I grabbed a bowl of Lucky Charms and sat at the table and listened in.
" A sunny day, high of 76, low of 69. The winds from Michigan will be coming down into Richmondsville so a perfect day for a picnic, now back to you John" the weatherman said in a cheery voice. I contemplated the idea. A picnic. That sounded more fun than sitting home, forcing up visions of the kidnapping and pitying myself.
I finished my cereal and stood with newfound vigor. I thought about who would be willing to come with me. I had been rather anti-social following the weeks after Anna's death so many people were bound to be wary of me. Maybe Annette...or James and Ruby. I climbed the stairs to my room and after searching intensly, I found my blue rather unused cell phone. I decided to first call up Ruby and James. After two tries I gave up, figuring they were avoiding me.
I could see whether they were or if they were just not answering because they were busy. The first would annoy me and warn me not to bother calling again and the second would just make me call again. I hadn't tried to vision in a while so it took some time. Finally my eyes glazed over and the vision came
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James held the cellphone in his right hand as it rang and buzzed repeatedly.
"James? Who is it? We're already late" Ruby asked, her auburn hair long and flowing as she stood in a short black dress and red heels.
"It's Bree. She's called like four times. Should I answer?" he asked.
"Oh, her. Well, no. Call her back later. We're going to miss the plane" she said in an annoyed tone.
"Yeah, okay..." he mumbled before placing the phone on their brown coffee table and walking away.
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Well...that was strange. Me and Ruby had been best friends since 7th grade. I admit I had rejected her advise and tried to stay away for a while but please, my sister had just died! I dialed Annette hoping for a better response.

Wow...no reviews...*puts hand in pocket and kicks dust*

I love your story! I want to read more! Please message me when you write more! this story makes me all suspicious.... I like it! Write more fast! And I know how it feels for no comments for reveiws! It sucks Message me when you write more so I can reveiw!

I know how you feel, not getting reviews can really bring you down and put you off writing. I think the problem with your story is not much is going on. If you would add little hints of drama in between, something to intrigue your readers into wanting to read the next chapter and something to get them excited to find out more, I think doing that would make the chapter so much more interesting. Maybe you could explore your MC's feelings a lot more, you did mention she lost someone close, talk about it, maybe recall some memories she had with that person, things like that add personality and make character's seem more real.
I hope I wasn't too harsh. I'm interested on where this story goes, though, because I can't predict what's going to happen next which is a good thing. Best of luck for the coming chapters, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them.
*coco

Well, this part is a little bit of a letdown after the last chapter you wrote, but it's not bad. It gives us a little bit of a look into her life. There are a few things I am confused about, like how old is she? How old was her sister when she died? and how long ago was it that her sister died? As I pointed out in a past review, try instead of separating the lines with
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Try instead just

****

I find it easier to read .

Keep writing.

I believe that your story here is at a little bit of a standstill. I like how you are describing your main character a little bit more and the visions definitely add a nice twist to the story. However, there really isn't anything happening at the moment which can lose the reader's attention very easily. Especially in the first few chapters. I suggest you add something to spice up the story like what if she has a vision of her friends getting ready to leave the airport and a plane crashes into them so she goes to try and help? It's not the best idea, but it's just a suggestion. Add a little action into the story and you will be on your way to a VERY interesting story!

Hi,
I liked this chapter more than the last one in terms of narration.I felt myself really there with the narrator.Nothing to nit-pick.Really interseting story.Keep going,jasmine.Please PM me when you post next chapter.