sabradan
Revolutionary
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 Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:22 am Post subject: Nothing Else Matters (will probably change the name) |
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SCENE:
As the curtain rises, we see Ari Blumenthal sitting on a threadbare couch in a very plain meeting room on Kibbutz Ramat Rachel. He is wearing a kippah (scull cap), a black t-shirt, khaki shorts and sandals. He is stretching out on the threadbare couch reading a newspaper. The meeting room is plain and relatively empty. It contains a threadbare couch, a cheap, gray, dirty throwrug covering most of the floor; the floor and walls are made of poured concrete, but half the walls are covered in panneling. There is a medium sized card table in the corner, with four folding chairs. In the opposite corner, there is a stack of folding chairs and a coffee machine. There is a closed door to stage right, and the walls are covered with various political and music posters, as well as an abandoned road sign.
ARI
(Reading the newspaper) GODDAMIT! How in the hell can they even consider that? Are they complete and utter idiots? (He throws the newspaper down on the ground in disgust)
[THERE ARE THREE QUICK, SHARP, CONSECUTIVE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR]
ARI
Nu, Yoni? Come in!
[YONI NITZAN ENTERS FROM STAGE RIGHT. He is wearing a large knit kippah, similar to Ari's, sunglasses, a green t-shirt, blue-jean shorts, and sandals. His beard is lighter and shaggier than Ari's but is not yet "shaggy"]
YONI
Ma matzav, Ari? Am I early? (He walks over to the coffee machine and pours himself some in a styrofoam cup)
ARI
No, you're on time. I just don't think anyone else is coming. Shirah might come, but that's not because she supports our cause-it's just to spend some time with me.
YONI
(Dissapointed)
Too bad, we can't do this alone
ARI
We aren't alone. HaShem is with us.
YONI
Baruch HaShem. Also, we don't really NEED a lot of people, do we? I still wish there were more of us here, though.
ARI
I know, so do I. But no, we don't need a lot of people. Besides I talked to Yuval over at Gush Etzion, and he said he and his brothers are in.
YONI
Excellent! (he pauses to take a sip of coffee) So, Ari, what exactly are we going to do, and how are we going to do it?
ARI
What we are going to do, my freind, is we are going to blow up the abomination that is the Dome of the Rock.
YONI
Why the Dome? Why not some other target that is less of a hotbed?
ARI
Because this is what must be done. That dome is a symbol of Muslim domination and superiority over the Jewish people and the Jewish land. It is a desecration to the Holy of Holies-and it has been allowed to stand for too long! There is only one remaining option-it must come down
YONI
But Ari, won't that make us seem a little bit, um, reactionary? Or perhaps fanatical?
ARI
Yoni, that dome must come down. It is an abomination. It is a symbol of oppression of the Jewish people, and it is hampering the coming of HaMashiach! Tearing it down is the only way!
YONI
Well, if it must be done (he hesitates slightly) well, then so be it.
ARI
I'm glad to see you agree, my freind. Be warned, though, people may call us names. They will most likely call us hawks, racists, fanatics, and a plethora of other names. And, to an extent, it will be true. We are fanatics. But they must realize that our fanaticism is bred of Arab fanaticism
[ARI'S GIRLFREIND, SHIRAH, ENTERS AT THE END OF ARIS SPEECH. She is darkly tanned, with green eyes and long, black hair. She is wearing a form-fitting white shirt with a long, light blue skirt and sandals]
SHIRAH
Hi, Yoni
YONI
(Interrupts Shirah) Hi
SHIRAH
(Walks over to Ari and kisses him)
Hi, Babe
YONI
So, Ari, how are we going to do this? Do you have a plan?
SHIRAH
A plan for what?
ARI
To blow up the Dome
SHIRAH
To WHAT?!? Are you craaaazy?!? Or just an idiot!? The government will find you and throw you in prison for fifty years! AT LEAST! Not to mention, it will take away all the progress we've made in the past forty-five years with the arabs! GONE! DOWN THE TOILET!
ARI
Its the only way, Shirah
SHIRAH
(Gesticulating wildly) WHY? Why do we need to blow up the Dome of the Rock?
ARI
(Raising his voice) BECAUSE ITS AN ABOMINATION!(YONI nods his agreement)
SHIRAH
How is it an abomination? That Dome is the reason why Jerusalem is called Jerusalem of Gold!
ARI
No, Shirah, its not. But thats beside the point. It's an abomination because it is a symbol of Muslim domination over the Jewish people! And, HaMashiach won't come until the Dome is torn down and the temple is rebuilt!
SHIRAH
Who cares? I'd rather have peace made by men than have to wait for HaMashiach!
YONI
(irritated) HOLD YOUR TONGUE! That won't change anything, anyway! As long as that dome stands, they will think that they have a territorial claim to our land! It MUST come down, Shirah, don't you see?
SHIRAH
No, Yoni, I don't see how in the world this can possibly help us!
ARI
Shirah, arguing won't do anything. We've already decided. It must be done.
SHIRAH
(in shock, appalled) WHAT?!?!? How can you go through with this, Ari? Do you know how many people will die? Do you have any clue how much sensless death will occur because of your little vandetta? You're acting like a monster, Ari, A MONSTER!
ARI
(In a voice gravely serious)
Monster? MONSTER? Monster, am I? How dare you judge me, Shirah. You haven't been through half of what I've been through. When my grandfather first came here from Auschwitz after world war two, on foot, alone, they were hostile then. They're hostile now. He used to tell me stories about what they used to do to Jews even before the British left...the things they did were just so, so, so horrible. They would capture Jews coming into the land, OUR land, from Europe, or anywhere else, and they would murder them in cold blood. They weren't even soldiers they did this to--it was anybody who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Men, women, children....it didn't matter to them. They would take and murder them in cold blood. Of course, they'd rape the women first; and then of course, they would desecrate the bodies. They would carve Stars of David into their chests, forming them out of their own blood!--and then, they would hang the bodies in their village squares! And that's just the begginning, my love. And you tell I'M being a monster? Do you even really understand WHY I'm like this? WHY I believe Rabbi Kahane was right? Because when I was fifteen years old, my brother Dov was driving to visit his girlfreind in Netanya, and some Arab thug pulled him out of his car and threw him in their trunk. Then they crossed the border into Lebanon, where they beat the shit out of him, day in, day out, for weeks on end. Then before we could get anybody to do anything, especially the government, they killed him in cold blood! Those godless bastards beheaded my brother, dammit! And it's not like they even did it quick and clean to put him out of his misery, (his voice is full of disgust now) no, they used a dull, rusty, jagged-edged saw to do it--to make sure they inflicted as much pain as possible before he died! And those bastards videotaped it! And we saw the footage on Arab TV! (He chokes back tears) Now, Shirah, my purpose here on earth from here on out is to make sure that those fuckers never are able to do that to another Jew, ever again. That is why I am doing this, Shirah, to protect you. And your family, and every other Jew, everywhere. I used to think my grandpa was ignorant because of what seemed at the time, his sensless hatred of the Arabs. Now, however, I wonder if they even fucking bleed. Kahane was right. No arabs, no terror. No terror, no war. No war, no death. No death, peace. So, my love, how DARE you judge me, when I am doing this to protect YOU? Before you judge me, you had best judge them. (He breaks down and sobs onto her shoulder)
SHIRAH
(Tries to comfort him) Ari, you can't avenge your brother's death with more bloodshed. He wouldn't have wanted this. He wanted peace. This wont avenge his death....
ARI
(He interrupts her, his eyes glistening)
No, Shirah, he would. He believed in justice, and he thought that that dome was an abomination, too. We need to do this.
SHIRAH
FINE! Throw your life away! Get sent to prison and destroy what good relations we DO have with the Arabs! Go ahead! DO IT! See what I care! But DON'T expect me to go along on this trip with you!
ARI
Shirah? What are you saying?
SHIRAH
(Irritably) I'm saying that you need to make a decision, Ari! (She gesticulates wildly) Whom do you love more? Me, or your damn blessed Mashiach? To whom are you more devoted? Me or this man that hasn't come in 4000 years, and may well never come? Because, if you go through with this, we are through, Ari Blumenthal!
ARI
(Stammering, dumbfounded)
What?....How...? Wha....
YONI
Ari.....
SHIRAH
Nu, Ari? Make a decison! Whom do you love more? Whom do you choose?
ARI
Shirah...Don't make me do this...please...
SHIRAH
DECIDE ARI!!!!!
ARI
Fine! (speaks slowly, and deliberately) I love you, Shirah, with all my soul...(Shirah and Yoni smile, and release the breath they've been holding) But, (Shirah's smile erases from her face) my duty is to G-d almighty and to Israel and to the Jewish people. So, if you are going to force me to make a choice, I have to choose my course of action....
SHIRAH
Elohim! How could you! (She runs out of the room, crying)
ARI
(sinks onto couch on the verge of tears) |
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"He who takes a life...it is as if he has destroyed an entire world....but he who saves one life, it is as if he has saved the world entire" Talmud Sanhedrin 4:5
!Hasta la victoria siempre! (Always, until Victory!)
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Sam
axis of evil, BRB
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| Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 4:06 am Post subject: |
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I'm not going to nit-pick lines, because you do really well with that. And I think you'd be able to pull this off, if you had Hollywood directors and actors with you. If you want normal people to be able to act in it (and make it believable) you'll want to make it less abrupt. You don't give us much time to really figure out Ari (and you don't give us his background) so he sounds really funny, especially with that long speech (very Shakesperian, I might add  ).
Like I said, it's too sudden. It moves too fast. Especially when his girlfriend Shirah walks in. This is what it sounds like:
Ari: Hey babe.
Shirah: Hey.
Ari and Shirah: *kiss kiss*
Ari: Let's go blow up the Dome! YAY!!
Shirah: No honey, you can't do that, you're an idiot!
Ergh. See how ridiculous it sounds? I'd add a bit more small talk, especially at the beginning, when it's just Ari and Yoni. They don't really do much, he just offers Yoni some coffee and then immediately launches into his world domination scheme (hehe, just kidding.)
Also what bothers me was that Yoni and Shirah, after Ari had delivered his spiel, both had virtually the exact same reactions. I would have one be kind of 'well, maybe, but...' and then have the other completely blow up at him. Otherwise, since both instances are so close together, it sounds almost comical.
I would have Ari be a bit more hesitant when delivering his plan. It's so big, so unheard of, he might not quite believe it himself. Like I said earlier, you don't really give us time to get used to him, so we don't know what he's normally like.
Other than that, it was really cool. I don't know why, but I really liked the way you integrated Jewish culture into it (the skull caps, the Hebrew). It makes it sound so much more believable, especially with your setting, which I'm assuming is middle-east-ish.  |
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