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This thread was created on August 10, 2005
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Scars and Supermodels
Topic ID: 4164
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Chevy
science, again.
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 Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:15 am Post subject: Scars and Supermodels |
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NOTE: I wrote this poem in less than 1 minute. I just started thinking and writing...I've never done that before. Heh, record breaking. Anyway, this si what I came up with. Don't condemn it too badly. I'm proud of myself, here.
Sometimes I just get so mad when I look in the mirror
I start tossing water at my face
And start screaming when nothing washes away
It makes me angry when I see the scars
You can never be a supermodel if you have scars
Unless you have make-up.
But what if you start feeling ugly again
And start tossing water at your face
Then you start screaming when it washes away
Because you still see the scars
You can never be a supermodel if you have scars.
Sometimes I wonder why I get so mad when I look in the mirror |
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Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me.
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:27 am Post subject: |
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| Circular...much too circular. Overall, a pretty trite subject-matter, and nothing really sonorizes the piece. Thumbs down, though I often feel the first three lines. |
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Sponson Light
The Art Guy
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:45 am Post subject: |
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If those scars are from fightin', you can call yourself a tough! A "Scarboy".
But err, yeah... it almost seemed like you repeated the same story twice. |
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| This thread was created on August 10, 2005 |
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Bartemius says, Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. - Charles Mingus
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