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Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyrics

This thread was created on July 19, 2005
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Eternity

Topic ID: 3852
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Is this good for Yoshi's first song?
Nope
15%
 15%  [ 2 ]
Yes
84%
 84%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 13

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Armadian   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:38 pm    Post subject: Eternity Reply with quote

*Yoshi's first crack at lyrics*Ok ALex or Teodorelispelle sent me a song for noteworthy composer and i made the lyrics YAY!

Since the Start
You and I were Friends
Always and forever.

Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul

Wish we could last
Always and forever.

_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
---------

I was always there
Lurking in the shadows
I am so sorry
For all that’s happened
In your life
Its all been me
I AM SORRY!!

Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul

Wish we could last
Always and forever.

_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please

This is Truely Eternity.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think its good, I dont know why no one else has comented. The chorus is a little repetiive, but im sure it doesn't sound that way when its sang.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your poll looks good too, lol

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pretty good
which song did alex send you?

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DUH Eternity - Memory of Lightwaves!
You made LYRICS for it? Weird...
I tried this on the Noteworthy and it didn't seem right... Probably singin' it wrong... But still I like it!
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YAY!

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I kind of figured it out ten seconds later when I turned on the music thank you very much......

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 11:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol Liz get on you have some explaing to do....hehe.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:11 pm    Post subject: Re: Eternity Reply with quote

Since the Start
You and I were Friends
Always and forever.
Nice, I like the sweetness and the simplicity of it.

Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
To be honest, I think that this verse would be used to reflect on "happier times". This would add more feeling to the rest of the verses, as well as the next two lines, as it would give the listener something to compare them to.

Wish we could last
Always and forever.
I like it, but like I said, it would have more of an effect if the previous verse was used as reflection.

_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please
Yes, it's repetitive, but the line "Rest in peace please" is really good. I'm sure it would sound great when put to music.

I was always there
Lurking in the shadows
I am so sorry
For all that’s happened
In your life
Its all been me
I AM SORRY!!
Good, but I think you should explain this a little more.

Once your soul has been reached
You were lost I was beat
I have been searching far and wide to find your soul
Again, I'd advise replacing this verse, only this time use it to elaborate on "for all that's happened in your life". Even if it seems a little short, it will give us a better understanding of exactly what is going on here.

Wish we could last
Always and forever.

_Chorus_
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please.
Rest in Peace
Please
Rest in Peace
Please

This is Truely Eternity.
Nice ending

This is excellent for your first song (and the poll clearly agrees with me Very Happy ). Nice work!

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great going, kid! i COULD even select you to be my lyricist(Jus'kiddin'). Smile
Anyway, for your first song, this is simply smashing.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Joe, why don't you join YWS? It's really easy.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anyone want the MIDI or NWC file for this song? So that you can hear the song to place the lyrics? PM me if you want it!
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It had a lot of emotion i loved it imensley

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay for alliteration! Rest in peace please
peace please
peace please

Love that.

EDIT: Sorry, I voted wrong cuz I assumed yes would be at the top and no would be at the bottom, and didn't look properly Rolling Eyes So ignore that.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow!

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This thread was created on July 19, 2005

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