A Buzzing Light



7-26-05



The northern light

seizes, shudders, new doorbell tinkling pain,

new awfulness, new skies exist...

At this stage in life, you can’t care what anyone thinks,

yet you still know that you must have respect

respect for their heaven-splitting strength,

and you must realize your own weakness, and wonder if

the way out or the way back in

is the way to defeat it...



God, silently blue

all infinite wisdom, infinite being

exists in meditation bells,

in 1960's whispers, in

an infinity of infinities...

I’m a student, I am suspect

from prying, uncool crooked eyes,



daydreams call to you, to me, and

reality hides inside a red van’s water-logged headlight...

I am

murder, murderer.

I am

child, I am ancient

I am a spirit-world

swirling around the north pole...



I remember vividly

the quicksand feeling of collapsing Earth I felt when

I learned that

behind the most abstract ramblings

lies the pulsebeat

of absolute truth...

And it’s true, and

it’s true



so I’ll emotional-swirl into

the train-truck future.