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Fallen
 by shadowstorm in Lyric Poetry |
This thread was created on July 10, 2005
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snippets for kelly (sic)
Topic ID: 3732
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Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me. Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 3017 Reviews: 901 Country: USA 392 Points
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:02 am Post subject: snippets for kelly (sic) |
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*
If you were to fall to the ground tonight,
I would be happy knowing your last kiss was spent on me.
Yeah, some things memory can't erase, some things just never leave
and there are many things I have worth living for,
though you are not one of them.
If I could lie on my back under a field of stars and count to you the number of ways
that you make me smile and make me feel, you would begin to realize
that you are the only thing I have
to die for.
**
You and me, yeah, we could forge memories if we wanted. You and me, yeah, we could live in the past for the rest of our lives. You and me, we could hold each other and know that everything will end in a bloodred explosions above our head. We can wave our flag until daybreak and yeah, we can play with religions if we want. And we can keep kissing on my roof until the sun dies, if it’s alright with you. And there is nothing else worth reaching for when the star sits next to you.
***
If we just lay here in the darkness
do you think our lives can pass us by,
if we just watch time and memories converge
do you think we will see something beautiful?
****
I took my hat off today and you giggled
when you saw my black hair, it was ‘cute’ and
you couldn’t help but run your hand through it.
You made me smile and you smiled back.
I would give anything to stay like this
in blissful silence on your bed with the radio playing tragic,
we are only lovers who in our love kill each other.
You are the kind of girl
who sits in her room and talks about fluffy boyfriends
and kisses from their soft lips and soft hands,
I am the kind of boy who
sits in my room and plays with ink and metre
until something beautiful forms, the kind of boy who has
realized that beauty is not in the pen, but the body. |
_________________ "If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson |
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Chevy
science, again. Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 21 Nov 2004 Posts: 1613 Reviews: 660 Country: It's Complicated. 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 1:02 pm Post subject: |
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Wow. That was very romantic...that was the kind of poem that makes everything I write look like crap.
I liked how you managed the long lines without over doing it and breaking the flow. The last stanza was the most beautiful--totally appropiate for ending a poem. Great work. |
_________________ "I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case."
- A Seperate Peace (John Knowles) |
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Misty
Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 17 Jan 2005 Posts: 814 Reviews: 493 Country: United States 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:56 am Post subject: |
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| You say the word "yeah" alot, and I almost felt like this was a song. Last stanza was amazing |
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| This thread was created on July 10, 2005 |
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