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Playing The Field - Chapter 11
Playing The Field - Chapter 11

by Meep(: in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry

This thread was created on July 13, 2005
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PsyLynx   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:19 pm    Post subject: 7 Reply with quote

7-12-05



Page songs in you, a calculator on

steroids, to Pink Floyd music tunes

I’m here, listening to it now, a to phones and ringer

experiencing the truth of bell to sssings,

as I fall asleep, a light ray to a

light ray, and dream of you,

you with me, a 

sun ray to a sun room....

Musical Orgasmm strikes me,

cough cough spank, the

nirvana spanks is what I call this. 

Drown drown drowning to sleep,

ah, ah, tired soreness bemoans the chalk she-yous

brick gosts walls, these chalk she-yous

and a soul is set free, w/

each rubber eraser that sends down

shards of consciousness, chalks,

personality and/and/or reality,

and I’m Mohammed, waah, ai.

“Ahhhh,” ! a vacuum cleaner,

on Mount Sinai!

Peotry dreams! Pppoetry-

you, ppoetry dream, p-

poetry darkness....



A poetry imagination

dream, big eyes are lashed

aloud, I move

unhampered bright.



THAT’s it,

adiuous.
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Matt Bellamy   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really liked the stye of this. Great use of repetition. I especially liked

Quote:
as I fall asleep, a light ray to a
light ray, and dream of you,
you with me, a
sun ray to a sun room....
Musical Orgasmm strikes me,
cough cough spank, the
nirvana spanks is what I call this.
Drown drown drowning to sleep,
ah, ah, tired soreness bemoans the chalk she-yous
brick gosts walls, these chalk she-yous


Good imagery, I love this poem.

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Elizabeth   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, i want to have this exact style, in the sence of I know what i'm saying but I put it into words where others only imagine what I mean...

Gosh, this was good...
*2 hours later*
yeah i'm still reading it so what?!

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This thread was created on July 13, 2005

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