Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Firefox 3

News:  

NaNoWriMo

YWS Birthday Smash!
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
World disassembled
World disassembled

by EmmaSweetie100 in Narrative Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry

This thread was created on July 8, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic
Digg It Del.icio.us


"...On my hot tin roof"

Topic ID: 3713
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Caligula's Launderette   View This User's Portfolio
the extemp queen
Master of the Forum

498
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 21
Joined: 13 Apr 2005
Posts: 2323
Reviews: 498
Country: how should I know, I don't even know where my socks are half the time?
300 Points

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:48 pm    Post subject: "...On my hot tin roof" Reply with quote

“…On my hot tin roof”



There’s a cat on my hot tin roof

Chershirelike

Ginger marked with slashes of white

And blue eyed

Such blue as the deep endless sky

And he just sits there

Sits there and preens

Even in the midday sun

When the metal is red hot

Caustic to the touch

He sits there

Sits there and preens



There’s a boy on my hot tin roof

A red lipped loverboy

Cherry scented poetboy 

With nail marks and teeth indentations

Covering sweat sliver skin

That gleams against the polished shimmer

Of sterling

He just sits there, steam radiating from freckled pours

And smiles

Even in the midday sun

When the heat pounds down relentlessly

He smiles



There’s a dream on my hot tin roof

Cracked open by a layman’s jackhammer

It’s raw and murderously halved in two

It screams silently for someone to mold the 

Shattered pieces back together

Little pieces of detritus

Confiscated in liberty and the pursuit of happiness

Not knowing that the only way to pursue happiness

Was to give into it



There’s a time when on my hot tin roof

I laid all my plans bare

Sizzling, salvaging what I couldn’t

To trek back into myself 

Speeding red through the roadmap of my life

Trying to find the beginning in effort

To prove the worth of the destination 



There’s a cat on my hot tin roof

Ginger slashes with marks of white

And blue eyed

Such blue as the deep endless sky

And he blinks and 

Twitches his long ivory whiskers

Once

Twice

And then 

He’s 

Gone

_________________
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.

Got YWS?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Rei   View This User's Portfolio
E.A. Extraordinaire
Epic Novelist

685
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 3140
Reviews: 685
Country: Canada
300 Points

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this is a perfect example of why I don't really like poetry. It's a fascinating read, and there are some great images. The part about the cat was nice, but overall, I just don't get it.

_________________
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Kilty   View This User's Portfolio
Senior Writer

40

Age: 23
Joined: 21 Jun 2005
Posts: 121
Reviews: 40
Country: Ireland
300 Points

PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it. Makes me picture a tin roof somewhere in the Mediterranean.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on July 8, 2005
Post new topic   Reply to topic
   Young Writers Society Forum Index » Other Poetry All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on July 8, 2005

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own. - Chinese proverb
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society